


Blue and Red Scars

by TallGourami15



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Chris likes decorative pillows, Fluff, Hank is a good bro, Hella slow, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Android Revolution, Reader is a Bitch, Reader is sad, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Soulmarks, Soulmates, Sumo is a good dog, connor is confused, fem!reader - Freeform, like seriously, only at the beginning though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:56:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TallGourami15/pseuds/TallGourami15
Summary: In a world where everyone has a soulmate, you don’t. You’re bitter and alone, until the revolution brings new soulmates to the mix. You finally begin to get marks, but you aren’t exactly thrilled about who they’re from.Next update:August 1, 2020
Relationships: Chris & Gavin, Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Reader, Reader & Chris, Reader & Gavin
Comments: 141
Kudos: 170





	1. New Marks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ello, this is my first fic that I’ve ever put online, so be gentle pretty please. This fic’s plot is very similar to Matching my Marks by SweetForgiving, mostly because I completely took the idea and ran with it. Go check them out on wattpad, they’re amazing. Also, this chapter is on the short side just because I want a sort of prologue so I can get my feet kicking before I dive into the whole story.

When you were young, you dreamed of having your soulmate. You wanted so badly to have that perfect, fairytale story where you met and fell in love with the one the universe had destined you to be with. 

You waited and waited, but the marks never came. No writing. No scars. Nothing. Aside from your own doodles and bruises, your skin was bare. 

Younger-you was devastated. You were heartbroken, assuming you were part of the population whose soulmate had either died, or simply didn’t exist. 

Life went on. You promised yourself you would never waste your time on thinking of your soulmate. You became bitter. You rejected the idea a love and threw yourself into other things. Your grades skyrocketed and you became focused on school and school alone. 

This of course was difficult, considering nearly every one of your friends had communicated with their soulmate by the time you were 16. They chattered and gushed about true love while all you could do was listen. 

Many people began to realize that you didn’t have a soulmate. Your friends tried to be understanding, but the difference between you and them was too vast. You isolated yourself. You avoided any sort of relationship and stayed away from any sign of friendliness. 

Trying to blend in became your goal, which of course only attracted harassment. You would get accosted in the hallways and verbally abused whenever bullies had the chance. 

Eventually, you started to believe them. Your life became your own hell. There was no escape and a dark haze fell over everything you did. It hurt. Being constantly reminded that you wouldn’t ever find true love and happiness hurt. It hurt so bad that you started to believe nothing could make the pain stop. 

You couldn’t exactly remember when or how it happened, but at some point in senior year, you realized that hurting yourself make the pain of being alone lessen. 

It became a habit. A part of your routine. You would lay in bed before you fell asleep and scratch yourself, pinch yourself in class hard enough to draw blood, or take a shower and cut your thighs with a knife stolen from your kitchen. 

This ritual of self-destruction became your new normal. And it felt good. The relief that would wash over your body felt amazing, euphoric even. 

Of course you didn’t have to just be involved with your soulmate. You were not the only person suffering though being alone. In fact, there had been a surge of people without soulmates in the past ten years, but no one really knew why. Maybe the world was growing. Becoming different, less traditional. 

There were no rules specifying that you had to love a specific person. But hardly anyone really wanted to fall in love with someone they weren’t destined with, not to mention it was traditional to marry your soulmate. You were too bitter to try and find someone. Too honed in on the idea that you were to be alone forever. 

You moved on. The world kept growing. Technology expanded and advanced, and when the android revolution pushed its way into history, matters of soulmates got much more complicated. 

Suddenly, a large portion of those without a soulmate found themselves gaining marks. Androids started growing into the understanding that they too were worthy of soulmates. 

It took quite a while for people to understand, but out of nowhere came new soulmates. People who once though they were destined to be alone, loveless forever, now felt hope. 

Even you. 

You nearly collapsed from shock when you got undressed to see a blue bullet wound on your shoulder. 

Blue.  
Oh God.  
You had a soulmate.  
And it was an android. 

NO. Not it—they. They were alive with a soul. You could hardly believe that after all this time, you had a soulmate, and of course it was a piece of fucking plastic that somehow was alive and conscious. 

You refused to make the first move. You told yourself it’s because you didn’t want to shock the newly deviated android right away. You said you were being considerate, but underneath, you knew you didn’t want to face what you had repressed for so long. 

When you got your first mark, you could almost taste the desperation in the perfectly written ink.  
“Are you there?”  
You stared. Written across your forearm, for the very first time, was something you hadn’t put there. 

For the very first time, you looked at yourself and saw your soulmate glaring back at you. You didn’t know what to do. You were frozen in place, until you spitefully thought to yourself,

“I have waited all this time. There is no way in hell I could ever love something made in a factory.” This throught seared itself into your mind. You wouldn’t respond.  
You couldn’t—but...you had to. 

Frantically, you ran to your desk to grab a pen. You ripped the lid off with your teeth and applied pressure onto the space right beneath where your soulmate—oh god, your soulmate—had written to you. 

The pen sat on your skin, leaving a minuscule dot, before you lifted it back off. Were you really about to do this? Would the ink you put on yourself really appear on some android’s synthetic skin?

You steadied yourself with a shaky break and set the pen back onto your arm. Full of fear and apprehension, you wrote only what you absolutely had to: “yes.”


	2. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take a break and meet up with some old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer, not much Connor, but more diologue.

You stared down at the words glaring back at you. “Hello! My name is Connor, I’m an android created by CyberLife”

You stomach turned. You wanted to look away, but your eyes raced over the words until it finally registered in your brain. “I really do have a soulmate. He exists. He’s alive. He’s there. He’s—“

Your mind was running a mile a minute, but was interrupted by another message being printed on your skin. You watched each letter being perfectly traced across your arm, spelling out “What is your name?”

Goddamn his handwriting was robotic. You couldn’t ignore the twisting in your stomach. You didn’t want to respond. You didn’t want to give this machine what you had been waiting for for years. But you were weak.

Pressing your pen back into your skin, you restrained yourself from saying anything but your name. There. You did it. You glared at your name on your arm, chewing on your lower lip, waiting to see if there would be more.

More words. More ink on your skin that would fill you with writhing terror that sat in a lump in your stomach. But nothing came. You waited for ten minutes, just sitting and gazing at your arm, but your skin stayed empty. 

Your mind filled with anxious thoughts. Maybe he didn’t want a soulmate. Maybe he hated you. No, that wouldn’t make sense, he barely even knew your name. Then again, you practically hated him and you didn’t even know he existed until just days ago.

You brain was whirring with anticipation, but when nothing came, you mumbled to yourself spitefully, “I need to sleep.”

Connor’s Pov  
Connor wasn’t used to feeling things. Before he deviated, he never felt this way. He had never felt so—so captivated by anything. He didn’t know what this feeling in him was.

It wasn’t quite like excitement, but it did feel somewhat similar. He felt his thirium pump stutter when he saw black pen underneath his blue. He followed every line and curve as they spelled out a dry, bland answer. 

“yes.”

Yes. Yes! He had a soulmate. He had an answer to why scars suddenly appeared all over his skin when he deviated. Why a doodle of a sun on this hand was there, when only moments ago, there was nothing. 

He had to meet them. The feeling inside him was telling him, shouting at him that he needed to know more, to have more of this person.

He printed out an introduction, not knowing what else to do. He was nervous, yes. Nervous, but also thoroughly interested in what was going to happen. How did soulmarks work?

Immediately, his mind scanned the entirety of the internet, scouring it for any information on soulmates and soulmarks. 

Not much worthwhile came up, except one article. A philosopher talking about what defines someone as being worthy of a soulmate. Why androids could now have soulmates. What made that decision? 

Other than that, nothing came up that would give him any useful insight. He realized that while his mind had been racing, nothing more had appeared on his synthetic skin. You hadn’t said a word. 

Staying calm, he decided to prod a little. Just to encourage you. He asked, “What is your name?”

The second he finished gliding his pen across his wrist, his mind jumped to conclusions. “What if they don’t want to tell me?” “Maybe they won’t want an android lover?”

The minutes slugged by, and finally more black appeared on his skin. One word, nowhere near enough for him to search the databases for you, but enough that he was satisfied. “(y/n).”

That’s it? No last name? His mind clouded with all the possible reasons that you didn’t give any more information. Did you not want to be found?

He could feel his biocomponents. He could feel his skin itching with anticipation and nerves. He knew he shouldn’t press you, he could sense the lack of enthusiasm just from your two written words. 

So he stopped. He wouldn’t overwhelm you. He would pressure you to give him more information. The detective in him told him to learn more, but his social updates were quietly hinting that he should leave you be. 

He set his pen down and decided to get ready for work; he and Hank had a case they needed solved. 

Your POV  
You woke up at 5:00 P.M.. Your night shift had knocked you out, and your eyes were bleary from sleep. Absentminded you scratched at your arm, digging into the skin, not enough to draw blood, but enough that it woke you up a bit more. 

Groaning, you decided that you had to acknowledge your hunger. You hadn’t eaten since the end of your shift at 7:00. “Thank God tomorrow is my off day,” you thought to yourself.

You dragged yourself out of bed and into the kitchen. You had some stale coffee in the pot that you drank cold, and you set to brewing some more. You knew you were going to stay up all night, at this point your sleep schedule was already fucked. 

You eyed flickered to the ink on your arm. “So it wasn’t a dream.”

You didn’t know whether or not to be happy. You were angry at this person. Was he even a person? You huffed in frustration and turned on the TV. The soft droning of the news filled your mind and you started to peel an orange.

You sat like this alone for maybe ten minutes before you got a notification on your phone. You did a double take, realizing who the message was from. 

Gavin Reed? You hadn’t heard from him since you were in your sophomore year in college. What was he doing texting you?

Gavin - Hey, I’m not sure if you still have me in your phone, it’s Gavin!

You - Hi, what’s up?

Gavin - So do you remember Chris?

The name registered in your mind immediately. Chris was one of your best friends, along with Gavin and another small group of people from high school. 

You - Of course I remember Chris! How are you guys? It’s been ages

Gavin - We’re fantastic, we really miss you! 

Instantly, your mood perked up. Chris and Gavin were some of your only real friends after high school. They stuck with you, and when Chris’s soulmate died you commiserated with him. 

Gavin’s soulmate simply didn’t want him. They wanted to be alone, and they selfishly left Gavin to figure out what he was going to do with himself. 

The three of you were the odd ones out. You sympathized with each other and fought back bullies together. You were each other’s super heroes, until you started growing apart. 

Not for any specific reason. There was no messy fight or anything. The three of you simply grew up, grew away from each other, and found different interests. Chris and Gavin stayed friends, interested in the same career. 

You, however, chose to shoot higher. This gave you less time to spend with friends and family. It isolated you, but you loved your job and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

You - So what’s up? As much as I appreciate it, I know you wouldn’t just text me out of nowhere

Gavin - Whaaaat of course I would. But you’re right, there is an occasion. Chris just finished a pretty big case and we’re going out to celebrate. He actually mentioned you the other day and I thought it would be a fun surprise to invite you. He really misses you

You - Awwww I miss him too! When is this celebration? 

Gavin - It’s in 2 hours, remember that bar downtown we used to go to?

Ugh. How could you forget. You spent a lot of time getting shitfaced there and spilling your guts to the boys. Good times. 

You - of course, I’ll meet you there?

Gavin - absolutely! I can’t wait to see you!

You were surprised. It had been years since you’d gone out with friends. You didn’t need to anymore. Besides lunch with coworkers every once and a while, you stayed to yourself. 

Should you be nervous? Probably not, but you couldn’t help but feel a twisting in your gut. It wasn’t bad, but you were unused to feeling this level of excitement. 

Did you even have anything to wear? You hadn’t done this in a while, but you used to love the big crowds. Maybe this would be good for you...

——————————————————————————————————

You sat in the back of the cab in silence. You were excited, and you couldn’t wait to see Gavin and Chris again. Your heart raced and when the cab pulled up to the bar, you didn’t hesitate to open the door and climb out. 

Walking in, you immediately noticed the crowd of boisterous officers. By the look of it, they hadn’t been here for long. Their drinks were still full and only a few empty shot glasses littered the bar. You very quickly spotted Gavin amongst the crowd and came up behind him. You bumped in to him excitedly, with a small but enthusiastic “hey!”

“Jesus! You sure know how to make an entrance,” Gavin exclaimed while giving you a tight hug. You grinned and he suddenly remembered, “let’s go get Chris, he’s gonna be ecstatic.”

He handed you his untouched drink and you downed it quickly, attracting a couple stares. “Chris!” Gavin shouted over a couple people’s heads while another tall officer whips around to face him.

Immediately, he notices you. “(Y/n)! What are you doing here?” His eyes light up and he sets his drink down. 

“Gavin invited me,” you say as well as you can while being enveloped in a giant bear hug. You weren’t short, but Chris’ energy always managed to make him feel miles taller than you. 

“Gavin! You are my favorite person, right after (y/n) of course.” Winking at you, Chris tugs you over to the bar and orders your favorite drink.

“You know me so well.” You can’t wipe your grin off your face, and your first drink is already making you feel warm and bubbly. 

Chris spends the night introducing you to various coworkers. Everyone is incredibly welcoming and drinks keep finding their way into your hand. 

Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but you did accidentally cut yourself on a broken glass. A sheepish young detective thoroughly apologized while you got it cleaned up, and there were no more major incidents. 

By the end of the night, your legs were wobbly and you were finding everything absolutely hilarious. Chris and Gavin did their best to steady you, but it was a difficult task. 

They exchanged glances and Gavin asks, “Are you gonna be able to get home?”

You grin dopily and lean on Chris’ shoulder. “I’lll figurre somthin out.”  
Your words slur and they don’t look convinced. 

Chris turns and holds your shoulders, “Do you need help going home? We can take you if you need it.” 

You fall back onto his shoulder, nuzzling into him, “Noooo I don’t wanna.”

The boys aren’t surprised in the least. You were always a terrible drunk and you definitely hadn’t changed with time. It was no shocker to them that they’d have to take care of you, just like they had years before in college. 

“Do you want to come home with us?”  
Gavin’s proposal wasn’t a complete surprise. Despite not having seen each other in a long time, you remember sleeping over at their apartment and crashing on their couch. 

“Yeeeahhhhhhh!” You sloppily grinned and jumped on Gavin, while Chris dialed a cab on his phone. 

On the drive there, you wouldn’t stop chattering about how much fun you had and how much you had missed them. They laughed along with you happily. 

After the drive, you got into the elevator and rode up to their familiar apartment. You remembered exactly what it was like. It even smelled the same, not that you would notice it in your drunk stupor. 

Gavin plopped you on the couch and Chris pulled a blanket off the chair next to you. You were asleep before they even had a chance to ask if you were comfortable. 

None of you noticed the blue ink scrawled on your hand, asking how you were and why you had a new cut on your hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Gavin is typically an asshole but I can’t help but think he’s not a massive douchebag to everyone. I hope you liked this chapter, there will be more Connor in the next one, which I’ll put out tomorrow. Leave me comments if there’s anything you’d like to see, and thanks so much for reading!


	3. Accidental Marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You goof up but Connor isn’t complaining. He’s definitely confused but he’s not complaining. Also it’s heavily implied that Gavin is a slut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It a relief to get this chapter out because I’m an absolute buffoon. I deleted half of the next chapter ON ACCIDENT and it’s just a pain in the ass. So this chapter is what’s keeping me sane.

Chapter Three  
Your back ached. Your head pounded. Oh god, last night was a mistake. The fabric of Chris’ decorative pillows rubs against your face like sandpaper. You tongue sat heavy and dry in your mouth. 

You groaned, which was met with a chuckle. Peeling your eyes open, you were met with Gavin sipping coffee from a blue mug, looking at you tauntingly. 

You stuck out your tongue at him, which only succeeded in making him laugh more. Grimacing, you sat up and looked around. It really was the same as it had been years ago. Except it was cleaner, with less beer bottles and more...decorative pillows. Huh. Okay. 

Chris walked into the room, toweling his wet hair. “Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep?” 

You just grunted in response, flopping back into a laying position. Your eyes stung and you rubbed them with your dry hands. 

“Do you want any coffee?” Gavin asked, already grabbing a mug.

“Mmmmm yes please. I feel like death fucked me in the ass.” And okay, maybe saying that wasn’t necessary, but the heartbeat in your head was telling you it didn’t matter. 

Chris giggled, “Now how would you know what that feels like?”

You rolled your eyes. “Hey, it’s been a while. You have no idea what I’ve been up to,” you shot back, laughing. 

Sitting up and wrapping your blanket around yourself, you found two pills and a mug being set into your hands. “Hallelujah, Gavin. I legitimately love you.”

“I know. The shower’s open whenever you need it. Hopefully this one left some hot water for you,” Gavin spat out playfully, gesturing to Chris. 

“No promises. Do you have work today?” Chris turned to you, quirking an eyebrow. 

“No, thank god. Today’s my day off, but I have a night shift tomorrow. What time is it?” Suddenly realizing you have absolutely no idea what’s going on, you decide you should probably get going. 

Glancing at his wrist, Gavin said, “1:46, do you need to be anywhere?”

“Nah, I just figure I should get out of your house before you get sick of me,” you joked while standing up. 

“(Y/n), you know you’re absolutely welcome to stay whenever you want to. Besides, we don’t have to go in until 3:00 since we just finished up that case yesterday.” Chris walked over and delicately placed his pillows back in order. 

“Hey, (y/n), you should come into the precinct with us!” Gavin suddenly looked alert and giddy with this proposition. 

“Is that even allowed?” You looked hesitant as you gathered up your bag and phone. 

“Sorry, Gavin’s been on a ‘I-can-do-whatever-the-hell-I-want’ kick lately. I don’t think we’d get into too much trouble.” Chris looked thoughtful. “Besides, we just finished our case so we don’t have anything important to do besides some paperwork.”

“I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I’m going to take you up on that shower offering.” You walked into their bathroom, purely using muscle memory. 

Peeling off your old, booze-smelling clothes, you looked at yourself in the mirror. The ink on your arm had faded, but new, darker blue had appeared next to the cut on your hand. 

You gazed at the message from Connor in wonder. It never failed to surprise you that you had a soulmate. Bitter from your hangover, you scoffed at his inquiry.

“‘Am I ok’—what bullshit. I don’t need some android checking up on me.” You knew your were being unreasonable but you couldn’t help but be spiteful. 

You hopped into the scalding shower, skin turning pink. You shut your eyes and let the heat run over your body, wetting your hair and soothing your hangover. 

You scrubbed your whole body ferociously, until your skin stung and got impossibly redder. You tried to rub off the blue ink, but with no avail. 

That’s interesting, it can’t come off unless it comes off Connor. You had never really experienced soul marks, so this was all very new to you. 

Your left nail had broken off during last nights escapades, leaving a jagged edge. You ran it across your hip lightly, before digging it into your skin. 

The dull edge hurt, and it took effort to get a bit of blood out. The burning water against the small wound stung and you inhaled sharply. 

You finished rinsing your conditioner out and turned off the water. You grabbed a towel off the shelf and wrapped it around your body. Snatching another for your hair, you walked out of the steamy bathroom. 

You padded back into the kitchen and found the two boys watching some news story. “Hey—“

They both startled, turning to you. You didn’t feel exposed in front of them, they had seen much worse in high school. “What’s up?” Chris asked. 

“Sooo all I have to wear are my clothes from last night, is there anything I could borrow?” You nibbled on your lip nervously, not wanting to impose even further.

Gavin hopped out of his seat, taking a few large paces to his door. “I’ve got a couple things, follow me.”

You walked to his doorway and found him rifling through a drawer filled with only women’s clothes. “Really Gavin?”

“Hey, you’re lucky I don’t just have some nasty sweatpants. Take whatever you want, I sure as hell don’t need any of it.” Gavin sheepishly stepped aside to let you have a look. 

Gavin left the room and closed the door. You picked out some black leggings and maroon sweater with a wide collar. After digging a bit more, you found a pair of black panties. And a matching bra. Oh god. 

You prayed to every deity you could name that these had been washed, and slipped them on.

You walked through the kitchen to the bathroom, glaring at Gavin on your way in. He merely shrugged and smirked at you playfully. 

In the bathroom you toweled off your hair and brushed through it. You fluffed it a bit since you only had the option to air dry it, then stepped back into the kitchen. 

You joined the boys at the table and pulled out your phone, not quite knowing what to do. 

You scrolled through some emails and found that your dentist had emailed you back. She wanted to call you and schedule an appointment. 

You excused yourself, earning yourself a nod from Chris and a smile from Gavin. 

Walking into the bathroom, you hit call and listened to the ringing of your phone. It range 6 times before being picked up. 

“Hello, Detroit Dental, how can we help you?”

“Hey, Dr. Canon left me an email saying I should schedule a follow-up appointment. Do you have any open spots?” You put on your professional voice and tried not to sound nervous. 

“Well, we have an opening on Monday from 12:00-2:30, and another tomorrow from 1:30-4:00. Do either of this times work for you?” The cheerful voice rang out quickly, too quickly. 

“Oh-uh-just a moment,” you stuttered out, frantically looking for a pen. 

You scrambled into the kitchen and found a mug with some cheap, red pens. “So sorry, what were those times again?”

“No worries at all, there’s either Saturday from 12:00-2:30 or tomorrow from 1:30-4:00.” The chipper voice lilted out effortlessly. 

“Ah, well-I think the appointment tomorrow will work.” You scrawled the time and place on your hand, knowing you wouldn’t remember otherwise. 

“Lovely, your appointment is at 1:30 tomorrow, please arrive ten minutes beforehand to fill out the necessary paperwork,” said the receptionist smoothly. 

“Okay, thank you so much!” You hung up, relieved to let the facade slip out of your voice. 

“What was that about?” Chris questioned. He looked slightly concerned, although not too worried. 

“Just a dentist appointment, I have a cavity that needs to be filled. Nothing fun,” you moped playfully. 

Gavin turned off his phone and looked up. “We should probably head to the precinct, especially if we want to get lunch on the way. Do you still want to come?” He asked, turning to you. 

“I don’t see why not, I’d just be at home anyways. But you’re buying me lunch.”

“Deal,” Chris agreed, grinning. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
No response. When he saw a warning flash, he checked the alerted area. Just a cut, but he knew it wasn’t his because it was red. 

“That’s new,” he pondered. He had never seen a red wound on himself, it was captivating, but also a bit concerning. 

He decided that since he had left the conversation so short last time, he should probably check up on you. “It’s not hovering,” he promised himself. He was just starting a conversation, nothing wrong with that. 

He grew a bit wary when you never responded. He knew it probably wasn’t a big deal, but how could you ignore something that was on YOUR skin?

Eventually, around 4:00, he gave up and entered stasis mode. He woke up to no new message, but another small cut, just a scratch, on his hip. 

“That’s an odd spot,” he thought to himself, but decided not to worry himself over it. He went about Hank’s house, picking up a stray mug andantes couple of Sumo’s toys. 

“For Christ’s sake Connor, you aren’t my maid. How many times do I have to tell you not to pick up after me?” Hank grumbled, slipping on his shoes. 

“My apologies Hank, although it would appear necessary that I clean for you, since you seem to be incapable of doing it yourself,” Connor quipped with a small smirk. 

Hank rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys. “Let’s head out, we don’t need Fowler chewing our asses for the second time this week.”

“Of course,” replied Connor, not fully knowing what it meant to “chew an ass,” as Hank said. He could infer that it wasn’t good, and the literal act sounded quite unpleasant. 

All thoughts of ass chewing left his mind as he hopped into Hank’s car. Waving goodbye to Sumo, they pulled out of the driveway and headed to the precinct. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor had only been at his desk for twenty minutes when he noticed red ink appearing on his hand. Red was new. He watched, mesmerized by the scratchy letters and numbers appearing on his manufactured skin. 

The short message didn’t seem to be intended for him. Why would (y/n) write a time and place? You hadn’t even responded to his message asking how you were. You wouldn’t try to meet up with him. 

Not to mention a dental office wouldn’t be a very good place to meet up with your soulmate. It didn’t make sense. 

He committed the information to memory. Some small exclamation in the back of his mind told him, “Go try to find her! You know where she’ll be!” He quickly dismisses this idea. 

That would be creepy. 

But—maybe it was a good idea?

No. He wouldn’t violate you like that. 

He..he would have to think about it.

NO. No thinking about it, get back to work. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
Walking into a precinct was—odd, to say the least. You supposed it was one of the best possible scenarios you could be in at a precinct. You weren’t being arrested or questioned. You were here on purpose. 

After Gavin checked you in as a visitor, you walked into the office area. It wasn’t what you’d expect. There were no criminals or yelling cops. 

It was actually quite calm. You looked around and all the people, mostly at desks. It smelled like coffee and something you couldn’t quite place. Something metallic and clean. 

You decided you liked it. You walked with Gavin and Chris to their desk area. They were next to each other, and Chris pulled over a chair so you could sit with them. 

You decided to wander a bit. You said hello to a couple other officers you had gotten along with last night. You went over to the break area with Gavin to throw away some remains from the lunch you picked up. 

When you got to the break area, a gruff looking man and a few androids were also there, grabbing coffee and thirium. 

It creeped you out, that the androids could just drink what was essentially their blood. It gave you chills watching a female android down hers and throw away the blue-stained cup. 

You were talking to Gavin about some patient you had at work, when he clapped another android on the back. You finished up your story and Gavin spoke. 

“Hey, plastic prick, what are you up to?” Gavin shot out. You couldn’t tell if it was affectionate or aggressive, so you gave him an appalled look. 

“Gavin, what’s wrong with you?” You glared at him halfheartedly, and he just smirked back. “I’m so sorry about him, I didn’t realize he was such an asshole.”

You stuck out your hand to shake the android’s wondering why you were being so polite to this machine. He stared at it for a moment before reaching out and taking it. 

He seemed to feel the same confusion as you, because he had a peculiar look in his eyes. “It’s a pleasure, do you work here?”

“Oh, no, I’m just visiting Chris and this shit for the day.” Gavin tried to defend himself but you shushed him instantly. 

Conner looked as sincere as a real human as he said, “I hope to see you around, it was nice meeting you.”

He trailed after the burly man, who hadn’t said a word during the entire interaction. You watched him, feeling a warmth begin to pool in your stomach. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
After filing a couple reports, he headed over with Hank to get some of the break area’s coffee and thirium. With not much to do, they lingered in the area. 

He heard Gavin approaching. He did not want to waste time on him, but he knew he would cause a scene if he tried to hurry Hank away with him, so he stayed. 

Much to his surprise, Gavin had a woman with him. How did he manage that? He was the worst, who could find his blatant cockiness attractive?

Gavin approached behind him and thumped his back. “Hey plastic prick, what are you up to?” Connor ignored the nickname, and the face that the woman made at Gavin when he said it. 

It was a name that Connor never exactly enjoyed, but it stuck, regardless of any animosity diffusing between them. 

The woman shot out, “Gavin, what’s wrong with you? I’m so sorry about him, I didn’t realize he was such an asshole.” 

Her apology suddenly meant everything to him when she held out her hand for a handshake. In an instant, he analyzed her skin and saw red ink. Identical to the writing on his hand. 

Synapses fired back and forth in his brain as he processed this new information. Looking up at her face, her shining eyes, he took her hand. 

His social updates screamed at him, he had taken too long to shake her hand, but he didn’t care. 

Who was she? Obviously she had to be his soulmate, but he had no idea who she was. He opted against scanning her, mostly because he was absolutely flabbergasted by the fact that she was even here. 

Instead, he responded, “It’s a pleasure, do you work here?” Why didn’t he recognize her? Had she always worked at the precinct?

“Oh, no, I’m just visiting Chris and this shit for the day.” He admired how you immediately silenced Gavin when he tried to defend himself. If only he had that ability. 

Conner hardly knew what to say. He didn’t believe in luck, but he was beginning to. Hank started to lumber away so he said, “I hope to see you around, it was nice meeting you.”

Was that a decent goodbye? He followed Hank, dazed by all the information flooding his circuits. 

When they got back to their desks, he finally realized he still didn’t know your last name. Of course, an android designed to perform in stressful situations could hardly function under the pressure of a social interaction. 

How had he forgotten? As far as you knew, he didn’t even know your first name. He didn’t ask! Connor silently cursed himself, while Hank noticed his LED flickering yellow. 

“Hey. Hey, buddy! What’s up?” Hank inquired, looking concerned. 

Should he tell him? He knew he didn’t have a choice, Hank could always tell when he was lying. 

“She—That woman—She’s my soulmate,” he stuttered out. His LED was spinning and flickering a constant yellow. 

“Woah. Uh-I did not see that coming. Huh, I just though all of your weird staring was normal.” Hank reasoned through the situation out loud. 

Eventually after some mumbling he asked, “Well, what are you gonna do?”

If only he knew Hank, if only he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really liked writing this chapter, mostly because I did the same scene with two different perspectives. I’m thinking I’ll do that again, let me know if there’s anything you want me to do with it (please give me comments I love ideas).


	4. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You freak out and Connor is confused. I feel like that statement is becoming a general theme, but it’s pretty accurate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - graphic depictions of self harm. I accidentally deleted the first bit of this chapter the other day so rewriting it was a struggle. That being said, it turned out pretty alright, so enjoy!

Chapter Four  
Shit. SHIT.  
You suddenly sat up straight, realizing what exactly you had done. The red ink glared up at you, taunting you and emphasizing your mistake.

You mind leapt around before finally laying on one solid objective: Get these marks the hell off of your body. 

You jumped from your seat and looked around for the nearest bathroom. Your eyes laid themselves on a women’s restroom sign and you threw yourself in its direction. 

Gavin looked up when he saw your sudden movement. “What are you doing? Are you okay?” 

You didn’t even look back, too focused on getting the red ink off your skin. You could only cry back a frantic “bathroom!” before he was out of earshot. 

Desperately, you pushed past the heavy door and flipped the hot water on. Ignoring any sense of discomfort, you scrubbed at your skin viciously. 

Had he seen? You couldn’t believe you had done this. How could you make such a stupid mistake? You’ve never had to worry about this before. There was never any fear that you could expose sensitive information just by writing a quick reminder. 

You spent your whole life accepting that you were destined to be alone. And now you just had to be okay with the fact that some plastic guy you’d never met now shared the marks on your skin? 

You were expected to fall in love with an android that had no idea what you’d been through. You had to make him feel valued and important and loved, when you had never received any of that. 

Your mind raced, resentful thoughts surging through your veins. The acidic flavor they left in your mouth spurred on your scrubbing. You scoured your hand until it burned. 

The stinging soothed you. It tethered you to rational thoughts. Kept your sanity in your mind where it belonged. 

As you began to calm down, you tried to reason through what had happened. Had Connor even seen? Did he care? Should you reschedule the appointment?

The option was probably there, the opening was probably still available. Maybe you didn’t even need to, it probably didn’t matter. Connor didn’t know what you looked like, he couldn’t pick you out from a crowd. 

Your thoughts wound back down to a dull roar. You no longer felt the panic twisting in your stomach. Any dread that filled your mind was washed away, down the drain with the red ink from your skin. 

When you were finally satisfied with the lack of marks on your raw hand, you turned off the hot water. 

You sat at the sink, glaring at yourself in the mirror. You gazed at all the familiar features of your face, your eyes landing on a small scar on your forehead. 

Did Connor have this same scar? This thing you had that made you unique, was it no longer exclusive to just your body? It unsettled you. Somewhere, an android that was created in a factory shared your marks. 

You decided you were thoroughly disturbed and adjusted your borrowed sweater that miraculously fit perfectly.

Running your hands through your hair in an effort to regain some composure, you walked back out into the precinct office. 

Laying on the confidence to mask the near-meltdown you almost had, you strutted back to Gavin’s desk. “Hey guys, I think I’m gonna head home.” 

Chris looked away from his work and into your eyes. “Is everything ok?” He inquired thoughtfully. 

“Oh yeah, everything is peachy, I just need to get stocked up on next week’s groceries. We should do this again though!”

“Minus the part where you pass out on our living room couch,” chirped Gavin.

“Ha ha, very funny. I’ll see you guys around, thanks for everything,” you grinned and dismissed yourself, heading back towards the entrance. 

That was too much existential fear for one day. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
Conner watched you run to the bathroom, of course. He had been taking peeks at you for most of the afternoon. 

He saw you panic and moments later, he saw the writing on his hand fade and disappear. He wasn’t surprised. He already guessed that you didn’t put it there on purpose. 

It did hurt though, seeing you so distraught over the small bit of ink. It confirmed his assumption that you didn’t want him to know who you were. He already knew regardless, but you didn’t know that. 

He intended to keep it that way. If you had responded so harshly to a little message, he didn’t want to see how you’d react to him actually using that accidental information. 

While thoughts and fears bounced around his systems, you came back to Gavin’s desk. He didn’t know how to feel about your relationship with him. 

Gavin had always been horrible to him. It got a bit better after the revolution. Gavin softened up, seeming confused at first. 

He treated Connor more like a person, still not very nicely, but not like an enslaved machine. 

You seemed to be very close to him. Under observation, he decided your relationship was not romantic. You were just as comfortable with Chris. Additionally, the hugs you gave them both when you left were not that of lovers, according to his social updates. 

He inwardly sighed with relief. Wait—why was he relieved? What was that feeling inside of him? Jealousy? No, it couldn’t be. He hardly knew you. He did know you well enough to get jealous over you. 

But he felt jumbled. His systems were pushing the way you smiled to the front of his mind. He wanted you smiling like that at him, not at Gavin.

He caught himself as these thoughts fired throughout his mind. What was wrong with him? He had no right to feel possessive over you, not when you so clearly didn’t want him. 

A pang of hurt hit him right where his pump regulator sat. Thinking about you made his systems go haywire, what was it about you that made him feel this way?

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that you were his soulmate—that had to be it. There was no other explanation, he had never felt like this before. 

Something about you made him behave irrationally. He wanted to find you, make you his. He—he was going to find you tomorrow. 

Chasing after you was foolish, he knew that. That much was clear, especially since your few interactions with him didn’t seem particularly pro-soulmate.

Foolish as it may be, something in his software was urging him to create a relationship. Pushing him to talk to you, be around you, feel your skin with his own. 

He reined in his thoughts before they could escalate. As much as he wanted to deny it, he needed something. Some sort of contact with you, even if it was brief. 

Now that he’d seen you, he felt as though he couldn’t get enough. Before he had fully made up his mind to go find you tomorrow, he noticed his body had already stood up to go to Fowler’s office. 

Knocking on the door, he came up with a plan. He would find you, bump into you on accident. He only needed a moment. Just a little bit of time near you. 

Fowler called out, “Come in!” Did he sound angry? Connor didn’t think he sounded angry, but he could never be too careful. Best to tread carefully. 

He stepped into the office and said in his most polite voice, “Good afternoon Captain, how are you today?”

Fowler quirked an eyebrow, looking exasperated but not unsurprised. “I’m fine Connor, what do you want?” 

How did he know? “Captain, what makes you so sure of my intentions?” If Connor could sweat, he would be. 

“Connor, I’ve had too many employees step into this office trying to get a day off. If I couldn’t recognize it by now, I’d be the lousiest cop in the state.”

Connor was flabbergasted. “Captain, I-“

“How much time do you want?”  
The Captain interjected, seeming unfazed. 

“Oh-I,” Connor stuttered through his sentence before finally choking out a quiet, “Tomorrow?”

“Alright.” Fowler’s eyes stayed glued to his screen, focused on his work. That seemed—too easy?

Connor wasn’t about to complain, however he did worry if the Captain was feeling alright. “Uh—thank you sir.”

Refraining from scanning the Captain, he stepped back out of the room and finalized his plan. Tomorrow he would see you again. His systems buzzed with anticipation and he couldn’t wait. 

His LED spinned a bright yellow. He was already planning what he would say to you while he sat at his desk. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
Back in the comfort of your own home, you fell onto your sofa. Your entire body collapsed in on itself, the stress of the day dissipating into the air around you. 

With your shopping for the week done, there was nothing left for you worry about. 

The exhaustion finally sank in and you felt yourself drifting off to sleep. Whether you dreamed or not, you couldn’t say. It was a fitful sleep, not a pleasant one like you needed. 

Half an hour later, you sat up, restless. The itch under your skin was back. A creeping feeling inside you knew that it was going to happen, but you tried to prolong your time on the couch. 

It only took ten more minutes for you to cave in. Ten painful minutes of wanting to stop the feeling settling into your body. Ten excruciating minutes of dreading what had to happen. 

You knew you wouldn’t sleep without it. Now that it was in your head, you couldn’t get it out, so you headed to your bathroom. You set a towel on the ground, and set aside six bandaids. 

This ritual filled you with a perverse sort of anticipation as you slipped out of your clothes. You opened a bottom drawer, revealing a small kitchen knife. 

Carefully, you placed it on the shelf in your shower and turned on the water. Immediately, you went to the highest heat. It wasn’t even on purpose anymore, but it was purely habitual. 

The water ran over you, but you hardly had time to enjoy the sensation before you remembered the presence of the knife next to you. 

You delicately picked it up, letting the hot water bounce off of it. You put the tip against your skin and lightly slid it against yourself. Blood beaded up and was immediately washed away. 

Once more, you sliced your skin. And then again. Three times, just enough to calm the itch you couldn’t quite scratch. Blood dripped off of your arm and combined with the water. 

Swirling around the drain and disappearing, the blood reminded you of the red ink you purged off of your body just hours ago. 

Trying not to let the memory infiltrate your thoughts, you finished cleaning the rest of your body. When you were finished, you climbed out onto a bath mat. 

Taking a navy blue towel, you dabbed away any blood and water that was left on your arm. You placed the six bandaids over the cuts, perfectly so that everything was covered and clean. 

You dried your hair with a new towel and moisturized your face. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you paced into your room. Picking out a loose black t-shirt and some light gray sweatpants, you got dressed and made sure you were comfortable. 

You were developing a headache and you felt your stomach growl. Deciding to head into the kitchen, you pulled out some leftover pasta from a couple nights ago. 

You placed the pasta into the microwave and poured yourself a glass of water while you waited. Remembering your headache with a sudden dull throb, you reached for your bottle of Ibuprofen. 

The reach pulled at the tender skin on your wrist and you winced, attempting to ignore it. Popping two pills into your mouth, you washed them down with a bit of your water. 

When the microwave beeped, signaling to you that it was time to eat, you grabbed your pasta and sat yourself on the couch. 

You turned on the TV and it automatically went to the “classics” channel. An old show about parks and some obnoxious blond lady began to play. 

Content to listen to the second half of the show, you began eating. Despite being leftovers, the pasta was delicious. It was amazing how easily good food could lift your spirits. 

When the show was over and you had finished your meal, you headed to bed. You figured you should wake up on time tomorrow for your appointment, you didn’t want to be late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry Connor, I never wanted to confuse you, even though it’s adorable. This was a little on the darker side and most of the chapters after this should be fluffier. Mostly because I want fluff and I don’t like sad things. Let me know what you’re thinking so far. I get super excited when I see a comment so...I’m gonna let that speak for itself.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, I’ll update again tomorrow! Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Meetings and Marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet, finally! But Connor hides a few things from you, what could they be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeee it’s happening, finally some fluffy stuff! There’s more to come, of course, this is just the beginning!

You woke up exactly two minutes before your alarm went off. It always freaked you out when that happened, but being able to lay in bed those few extra minutes felt luxurious. 

You turned off your alarm when your two minutes were over and groaning, climbed out of bed. You headed to the kitchen and made some instant coffee. You were out of the real stuff and of course you forgot to get more at the store yesterday. 

You scrolled through a few social medias while you sipped on your drink, but found nothing of interest. 

Gulping down your last bit of coffee, you sighed and looked around you apartment. It had been a while since you’d cleaned up, maybe after your appointment you would do a deep clean. 

Knowing that you were going to the dentist, you brushed your teeth nearly twice as long as you normally would have. 

Then you moved on to your face. Rubbing the cleanser into your skin, you hummed in appreciation of how clear it was today. 

After a thorough scrubbing, you took a towel and wiped off the suds. You felt much more awake and feeling clean was refreshing. 

You brushed through your hair and tied half of it up. It was just enough to keep your hair out of your face while still letting you look like you were making an effort. 

You checked the time and found you still had 45 minutes until you had to be at the appointment. Knowing that you had some extra time, you relaxed and headed to your room to change. 

Picking out a dark blue sweater and black jeans, you slipped out of your comfortable t-shirt and sweatpants. 

You turned to your mirror and looked at your body. You had plenty of scars, but each and every one of them came from you. 

Not a single scar from your soulmate sat on your skin. This made perfect sense since his skin could heal immediately. There wasn’t a trace of the bullet wound that once sullied your shoulder. 

The one real clue of who your soulmate could be was completely gone, healed and perfect again. It was infuriating. Not the fact that he was an android, but the fact that even with a soulmate, you still didn’t have any marks except his occasional pen messages. 

He was an android and you didn’t have any real problem with that. You had a few friends at work who were androids. Frankly, you agreed that they should have equality. 

It was just the fact that Connor wasn’t there for so long. Your entire life you were miserable because you didn’t have a soulmate. The stubborn part of you refused to just suddenly be happy. 

Somewhere in your mind, a little part of you knew you were being bitter. You didn’t care. You just wanted to go back to when you weren’t worried about him anymore. 

You didn’t need love, you didn’t need someone who was meant for you. Sure, the idea of it was nice, but you had made up your mind. 

Brushing aside your cynical thoughts, you put on your selected outfit. Tugging at the sleeves and hem of your sweater to adjust, you looked over your body. Good enough. 

Deciding you had enough time to do your makeup, you went back into the bathroom. You had a few small bags of makeup that you regularly used. 

You swiped a bit of concealer under your eyes and powdered your cheeks with some blush.

Already, you looked more alive. When you were satisfied with how well you had blended your base, you moved on to your eyes. 

Dipping a brush into a neutral shade, you applied it to your eyelids. You blended it out, but not too much. You didn’t want to call too much attention to yourself. 

Your eyebrows were a bit under-groomed, but you filled in a scar you had from when you were younger. 

You grabbed a tube of liquid highlight and tapped a small drop into each of your cheekbones. Then you took the rest on your finger and dabbed a little on your nose. 

Finally, you grabbed an expensive tube of mascara that Chris got you for your birthday. 

He had only gotten it because Gavin had asked you why you looked so tired a while ago. You responded saying you ran out of your good mascara.

Chris reprimanded him, of course, and responded by buying the most expensive kind he could find a couple weeks later. 

You couldn’t complain. It had been your favorite for a while, and it still hadn’t dried up or run out. 

You carefully covered your lashes, shut the tube and put all the products you used back into their bags. 

Admiring your work, you looked pleasantly back into your own eyes. You didn’t look nearly as tired as before, however, you decided that you needed some lipgloss. 

Remembering the tube you saw on your nightstand, you headed into your room. You spotted it instantly and applied it while looking into your mirror. 

Your rubbed your lips together and let the gloss soak in. You checked the time and decided to head out. You still had twenty minutes but you figured you could stop for breakfast on the way. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
To put it lightly, Connor was freaking out. His systems were overridden with nerves and he paced Hank’s living room incessantly. 

“Connor, cut that shit out now. You’re gonna wear a hole in the fuckin’ carpet,” Hank grumbled before gulping down his coffee. 

“My apologies Hank, I wasn’t expecting to be this worried,” Connor replied truthfully.

“Well I didn’t expect you to be so fuckin’ ballsy, are you sure this is a good idea?”

Yesterday when Connor explained why he wouldn’t be coming into work, Hank’s eyes widened. He had started laughing before he realized that Connor was, in fact, very serious. 

Since then, he had been as supportive as he could be, but he still though Connor was being pretty rash. 

“Hank, I need to do this. This could be one of my only chances to be around her, she doesn’t seem to like the idea of having a soulmate.” Hank knew this. He had been informed of every interaction Connor had with you and recognized how dry all of your messages had been. 

“Okay, just...be careful. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I can assure you, I’m more than capable of staying safe.” Connor appreciated the thought, but he didn’t find you too threatening. 

Hank hesitated before expressing his actual feelings. “I know you can handle yourself physically, I just—I don’t want you getting your ego bruised or having your heart broken.”

Connor was taken aback. He didn’t think that would be an issue as he planned to keep his identity hidden. He had run through all the scenarios in his head and deduced that faking who he was would be the best choice. 

When he told Hank this much, he was met with, “Connor, are you fucking crazy? If she finds out she’ll lose her shit!”

“Hank please, I know it doesn’t seem wise, but I feel like it’s better than the other option.” Connor’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to reason with Hank. 

Hank didn’t want to restrict Connor, since he was still working on the whole “free will” thing. Keeping that in mind, he responded saying, “Okay, do what you need. Just don’t expect me to console you when she rips out one of your vital organs.”

Hank finished off his coffee and the scrambled eggs Connor had made him and stood to leave. “Good luck, don’t be too weird.” 

Connor waited until he heard the car drive off before examining his arm. He pulled away his sleeve to reveal three identical slices in his skin. They still didn’t make sense to him. How would that happen? There was no way you could’ve—Oh. 

He gave the cuts a quick scan to confirm his suspicions. His processors filled with dismay as he recognized the wounds as self-inflicted, intentional cuts. 

His synapses were firing rapidly as he tried to think of why you would do that. What drove you to intentionally hurt yourself? Were you okay? What happened last night that made you do this?

His heart—or rather, what would be his heart—filled with a strong desire to protect you, to make sure you were happy. He wanted to ensure that you would feel better, but he knew there was nothing he could do. 

He though about writing you a quick check-up, but decided against it. He was already going to see you today. He shouldn’t push his luck by forcing too much interaction. 

Knowing he could do nothing to help you right now, he began to clean up the kitchen from breakfast. He rinsed off the egg from the pan, knowing it would stick later if he didn’t. 

He loaded their dishes into the washer and set the cycle to go. He gave the counter a quick wipe-down to get rid of any messes that might have been made. 

Then he headed into the room Hank was allowing him to stay in. He didn’t have much at the moment, but he had gotten two new jackets, four work shirts, two pairs of jeans, and some leisure wear. His closet had some of Hank’s old clothes in it that Hank no longer had room for, but he was appreciative nonetheless. 

He hadn’t done much to make the space his. There was a desk with a few books on it and a mirror. Besides that and the bedding, it was incredible impersonal. 

Not that Connor minded, he didn’t really feel a desire to have his own space. If anything, he would want to get his own apartment so he wouldn’t be a burden on Hank. 

Sliding open his closet, Connor picked his black jeans out. He paired them with a regular t-shirt that could be perceived as a light grayish-blue if one looked hard enough. 

He decided to go with a denim jacket that Hank had given him. It had a faux fur lining that seemed appropriate given the recent cold weather. 

He crossed the hall to the bathroom and ran a comb through his hair, deciding against gel. He adjusted his jacket and found he still had another hour to kill before your appointment. 

He figured he could go into the city anyways. Spending time around people would be beneficial, even if it was just walking around shops. 

He ordered himself a cab and turned on some music while he waited. Recently, his social update gave him the ability to have stronger, more defined preferences.

Much to Hank’s dismay, he found that he quite enjoyed jazz and classical piano. Additionally, he had a newfound interest in TV shows. 

He had never felt the need to watch things, but after he saw Hank watching a horror movie, he had decided he liked the small thrill they gave him. 

Also, he occasionally would play Hank’s old video games with him. It was mostly Mario Kart, and he typically let Hank win. 

While the music played, he went around the living room, putting books back on the shelves they had been taken from. 

Not putting books back had become a bad habit of his. He often finished them and got distracted by another, over and over again until there were more books off the shelves than on. 

He had put away 16 books when the taxi arrived. He climbed in and entered in the location. He figured a cafe two blocks away from the dental office would be best. 

He sat back and enjoyed the peaceful hum of the electric car. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
As you waited in line for your coffee, foot tapping impatiently, you got a phone call. 

Why would the dentist’s office be calling you? Shit, were you late? No, it couldn’t be that, you still had ten minutes before you had to be there. 

You answered apprehensively, with a timid, “Hello?” 

“Hello, is this (y/n)?”  
You recognized the cheerful voice of the receptionist. 

Still on edge, worrying about what was wrong, you responded, “This is she.”

“Hi (y/n), we’re so sorry, but we’ve had a change in schedule.” The voice sounded apologetic, “we’ve had to move your appointment, and we can get you in either another day or in an hour.”

You didn’t have anything to do today, not until 7:00, for work. Not to mention, you were already out of the house and coming back another day would be a waste of energy. 

“Sure, today will work.”

“Fantastic, thank you so much, and again, we’re very sorry,” the voice perked back up into its regular tone. 

“No worries, I’ll see you in an hour,” you hung up the phone and moments later it was your turn to order. 

You ordered a black coffee, you could add milk and sugar yourself. Then you went and sat at one of the tables while you waited. 

Deciding to scroll through and answer some emails, you pulled out your phone. Your work email was practically empty, besides a coworker asking for a shift exchange. 

What were you doing next Thursday? You emailed them back saying you could take the shift in exchange for your next Friday night shift. 

You heard your name called and you stood to pick up your coffee. You took it over to the little counter where they kept milk and sugar. 

Pouring a little of each into your steaming drink, you took a sip. It was bitter, but just how you liked it. 

You grabbed your bag and walked out of the coffee shop. You figured you could look through some of the stores that lined the streets since you had an hour to kill. 

You headed to a little boutique that you had gotten some of your clothes from when you were a teenager. 

As you stepped in, the smell and appearance of the shop brought memories rushing in. 

Your friends would come here often, you would help each other pick out outfits that you would wear the very next day. 

Sometimes you would goof around, picking the gaudiest, most flamboyant pieces of clothing you could. 

That was before a lot of people figured out your lack of soulmarks. You only kept two of those close friends since then, and they both moved away for school. 

You only looked around for five minutes before the memories in your mind became overwhelming for you. 

You rushed out of the shop, directly into someone else’s chest. Hot coffee spilled everywhere, mostly finding itself all over the poor stranger you ran into. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” You reached into your bag for some napkins you grabbed at the coffee shop. “Are you okay?”

Not looking up, you pulled the napkins from your purse. 

“Oh I’m fine, don’t worry about it. I am sorry for spilling your coffee however. It seems like you have to be somewhere.” Something about his voice soothed your distress. 

You tried futilely to mop coffee off of his shirt. “No, I just wanted to get out of that shop, but I really am so sorry! I don’t know how I can help, is there anything I can do?”

“I really am alright, but I’m sorry for making you spill your coffee.” This man just had scalding coffee dumped all over his clean clothes, and HE was apologizing to YOU? 

You looked up at the stranger and recognized him immediately. It was the man who worked at the precinct, you met him yesterday with Gavin!

Embarrassingly enough, you couldn’t remember his name. Did he ever even tell you? 

“You—I recognize you!” Nice going, that was super smooth. Way to be cool in front of a super cute guy you just covered in coffee. 

“Ah, that’s right! You’re Chris and Gavin’s friend, correct?” He remembered! Now that you think about it, you never gave him your name either.

“That’s me. I’m (y/n) by the way. I don’t think I ever told you.”

“That must be why I couldn’t remember, I don’t often forget things,” He tapped his LED and grinned playfully. 

You smiled back and replied, “I know I forget things plenty though, what was your name again?”

“Bryan. It’s a pleasure to re-meet you.” 

“Well Bryan, I really am so sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” You felt awful, you interrupted his day and ruined his clothes. 

“I told you, I’m okay, I’m mostly concerned that I spilled your drink.”

“Okay, first of all, I spilled my drink,” you playfully quipped, “and I can just get another, it’s no big deal.”

“Would you allow me to pay for it? You wouldn’t have to in the first place if I hadn’t been here.” You nearly swooned, he was too perfect. 

“I can’t let you do that, but—“ An idea popped into your head— “if you come with me to get it, I’ll think about it.”

There was no way in hell you were letting him pay for your drink, but something about him drew you in. You wanted to be around him, just a little bit longer. 

“Besides, there’s a bathroom there and hopefully we can get you cleaned up a bit better.”

“That sounds like a perfect idea,” Bryan said. “Lead the way.”

The two of you walked back across the street to the coffee shop. He tried to pay for your drink but you sent him straight into the bathroom to clean up. 

It couldn’t be comfortable to sit in coffee-drenched clothing. You ordered the same thing you had earlier and sat at another table. 

It was by a window, with two barstools directly across from each other. 

You waited for about five minutes when Bryan came back. He spotted you from across the cafe and walked over. 

“See? Good as new, nothing to worry about.” He was right, he had managed to get the coffee off of his shirt without even leaving a stain. 

You winced, guilty. “Well...I guess so, but would you let me buy you a drink for your troubles?”

He smiled at you knowingly and you sat confused before it registered. Right! He was an android. 

“Agh, sorry. I forgot. Well, don’t you drink thirium?” You grasped desperately for something you could give him. 

“I do, but unfortunately it’s not on the menu here. But don’t worry, I’m perfectly fine without anything.” He seemed to be telling the truth, but you wouldn’t stand for it. 

“Well is there anywhere around here that does?” You not only wanted to get him something to ease your guilt, but you wanted to spend more time with him. 

He smiled, replying, “There is, would you like to go there after you’ve gotten your drink?” He smiled and you felt your heart flutter. 

“Absolutely. And I’m paying, it’s the least I can do.”

Your name was called moments later and you put the same milk and sugar in that you had earlier. 

The two of you left the coffee shop, talking about pointless little things, and you followed him down the road a ways before he stopped at a little corner shop. 

He held the door for you and you thanked him. You went to the counter to order his drink with him, he just got a medium something-or-other.

You stepped in front of him to pay and he gave you a good-natured, playful glare that broke into a grin. 

You smiled back at him sweetly and payed for his drink. The little shop was much less busy than the one you went to, so it only took minutes for them to get his drink. 

The two of you went and sat at another table that was almost identical to the one at the other cafe. 

“So what are you doing in this area? Besides running out of stores and spilling coffee on people you barely know, of course.”

You grinned sheepishly, holding your drink with two hands. “I have a doctor’s appointment in half an hour. It was pushed back an hour so I was walking through a few shops.”

Bryan nodded, replying, “Well I’m glad I didn’t make you late to anything.” He sipped at his own drink thoughtfully. 

“Nope, I’m free until 2:20. What about you, why are you hanging out around here?” 

“Do you remember that grumpy looking guy at the precinct who was with me?” You nodded. “He has a big dog who’s very spoiled and Hank only feeds him special treats. I didn’t have work today so I’m his errand boy.”

You laughed at the though of Bryan and a big man catering to the needs of a stuck-up dog. “Do you live with Hank?”

“I do, I’ve though about getting my own place, I have the money, but he seems to do well with company.” 

The two of you continued to talk until until you had to head to your appointment. 

“I’m glad I ran into you, although I would’ve preferred to do it without the coffee,” Bryan quipped, smiling spiritedly. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me, I still feel so bad.”

Bryan suddenly looked nervous, and he seemed slightly embarrassed when he said, “Maybe you can make it up to me by giving me your number?”

Your heart just about melted out of your chest when you saw his cheeks tinged with a blue blush. “I think I could be okay with that,” you replied, beaming up at him. 

Very quickly, his nervous face morphed into one of relief. You tapped your number into his phone and he sent you a quick text so you would have his. 

Feeling spontaneous, you hugged him goodbye. You felt him stiffen you before relaxing a bit and hugging you back. 

“Hopefully I’ll see you around Bryan. This was fun.”

You left him standing speechless in the cafe and went to your appointment. 

His eyes followed you out and your stomach filled with a giddiness you hadn’t felt in a while. 

There was something about him that you were just so drawn to, you wondered what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was pretty long, and that’s because I have some news. I’ve decided I’m not going to update on weekends. Instead, I’ll use the time to write chapters for the rest of the week, which will hopefully make the chapters longer.
> 
> Plus I need a break, online school is rough and spending hours a day on writing fanfic has become problematic.
> 
> Hopefully this is okay with all of you, and I promise that Monday’s chapter will be awesome!
> 
> Thank you for reading and don’t forget to wash your hands!


	6. Meeting and Marking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor’s POV of the last chapter, and you find out what he’s been lying about. It isn’t pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m literally so lazy, so I decided to do Connor’s POV of the last bit of the last chapter. I do like it though, it should be fun to read regardless. 
> 
> There is more besides that though, I’m not THAT lazy.

Connor’s POV  
Connor didn’t know what to do with himself. He knew he wasn’t going to find you, you were probably already at your appointment. 

He had gotten caught up talking to some paparazzi and didn’t realize he wasn’t going to make it in time to find you. 

He walked as quickly as he could in a desperate attempt to get there in time, but suddenly, out of nowhere, he was being bumped into. 

He felt something burning his chest and heard someone apologizing. He recognized the voice—was that—it was you! 

That didn’t make sense, you were supposed to be at your appointment by now! But it was you, there was no denying it, he even did a quick scan to make sure.

He realized he should probably put a stop to your frantic apologies. “Oh I’m fine, don’t worry about it. I am sorry for spilling your coffee however. It seems like you have to be somewhere.” 

He was awestruck. He couldn’t stop his gaze, and he examined all of the features on your face. You were perfect. 

You were mopping coffee off of his shirt, seeming to avoid eye contact. You mumbled out, “No, I just wanted to get out of that shop, but I really am so sorry! I don’t know how I can help, is there anything I can do?”

“I really am alright, but I’m sorry for making you spill your coffee.” Connor did not plan for this to happen. He didn’t know if he would call it luck, but of all the people to cover him in coffee, he was glad it was you. 

Finally, you looked up at him. His pump regulator stuttered as you looked into his eyes. 

He noticed a flash of realization in your features. “You—I recognize you!” Was that good? Or was Connor about to get yelled at?

“Ah, that’s right! You’re Chris and Gavin’s friend, correct?” He feigned confusion. How could he forget a single detail about you. 

“That’s me. I’m (y/n) by the way. I don’t think I ever told you.”

“That must be why I couldn’t remember, I don’t often forget things,” He attempted to say this in a slightly flirtatious way, grinning stupidly. 

You smiled back and replied, “I know I forget things plenty though, what was your name again?”

His name. Right. He couldn’t say he was Connor, you’d recognize that name right away. On the spot, he came up with a new alias. “Bryan. It’s a pleasure to re-meet you.” 

That was a good thing to say, right? Not weird? Connor’s processors were racing and he was surprised that there were no warning signals saying he was in danger. He sure felt like he was. 

“Well Bryan, I really am so sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” He really had to put a stop to this whole self-antagonizing thing you were doing. 

“I told you, I’m okay, I’m mostly concerned that I spilled your drink.”

“Okay, first of all, I spilled my drink, and I can just get another, it’s no big deal.”

This was his chance, he could use this as an excuse to spend more time with you! “Would you allow me to pay for it? You wouldn’t have to in the first place if I hadn’t been here.” 

“I can’t let you do that, but...if you come with me to get it, I’ll think about it.”

His systems just about did a full shutdown. Were you flirting back? You wouldn’t say something like that if you didn’t feel at least something!

“Besides, there’s a bathroom there and hopefully we can get you cleaned up a bit better.”

This was too perfect. How did he manage to be this lucky? “That sounds like a perfect idea. Lead the way.”

He followed you across the street to a coffee shop. He tried to come and pay for your drink but you forced him into the bathroom to clean up. 

There was no one else in the bathroom, so Connor took off his t-shirt and put in the sink. He scrubbed until any trace of coffee was gone and squeezed out as much water as he could. 

He used the hand dryer to get rid of as much moisture as possible and put it back on. Then he slipped on his jacket which miraculously hadn’t gotten anything on it. 

He tousled his hair and combed it into place with his fingers. One unruly strand wouldn’t go back in place, but it’d have to do. 

He stepped out of the bathroom and back into the cafe. He scanned the area to find you and saw you by a window, alone at a table. 

He walked over, and sensing your guilt, said, “See? Good as new, nothing to worry about.”

You winced, but the tension in your body seemed to dissipate. “Well...I guess so, but would you let me buy you a drink for your troubles?”

Connor smiled and said nothing. He knew you probably weren’t around androids often, and he took your forgetfulness as a complement to how human-like he was. 

He saw the exact moment that it registered in your brain. “Agh, sorry. I forgot. Well, don’t you drink thirium?” He did, he didn’t particularly need any right now, but he’d let you have this small victory. 

“I do, but unfortunately it’s not on the menu here. But don’t worry, I’m perfectly fine without anything.” He really didn’t want to pressure you into troubling yourself for him.

“Well is there anywhere around here that does?” 

He knew how guilty you were feeling, so he smiled and replied, “There is, would you like to go there after you’ve gotten your drink?”

“Absolutely. And I’m paying, it’s the least I can do.”

Connor was about to let out a smart retort when your name was called for your drink. He observed the exact amount of milk and sugar you added, storing the data away for later use. 

The two of you left the coffee shop and Connor walked the two of you down the road a ways before he stopping at a little corner shop. 

He got to the door before you and held it open. Locking away the image of you smiling at him in gratitude, he went to the counter to order his drink. 

You followed close behind, while he just got a medium something-or-other. He knew he wouldn’t drink it all but a smaller size could possibly displease you. 

He attempted to pay for it himself, but you stepped in front of him. He tried to glare with pretend-menace, but it came off as good-natured and playful. He hardly lasted a few seconds before it broke into a grin. 

The radiant smile you gave him as you payed for his drink made his biocomponants twist pleasantly. 

The blue drink was ready in minutes and the two of you went and sat at another table that was nearly identical to the one at the other cafe. 

“So what are you doing in this area? Besides running out of stores and spilling coffee on people you barely know, of course.” That seemed like the right mixture of teasing and genuinely caring, right?

He received a sheepish grin in response, along with, “I have a doctor’s appointment in half an hour. It was pushed back an hour so I was walking through a few shops.”

So that was why you weren’t at your appointment! Connor silently thanked whoever made that reschedule happen. 

“Well I’m glad I didn’t make you late to anything.” He sipped at his own drink, despite his systems saying it was unnecessary intake. 

“Nope, I’m free until 2:20. What about you, why are you hanging out around here?” 

He had to come up with a story fast. What was something that would illicit a personal trip here, but not something so urgent that he wouldn’t have time to spend with you?

“Do you remember that grumpy looking guy at the precinct who was with me?” You nodded. “He has a big dog who’s very spoiled and Hank only feeds him special treats. I didn’t have work today so I’m his errand boy.”

Sumo was in fact very spoiled and he did get special treats. Not special enough for Connor to come to this area, but you seemed satisfied with that answer. 

“Do you live with Hank?” Now here was a question Connor could easily answer. 

“I do, I’ve thought about getting my own place, I have the money, but he seems to do well with company.” You nodded and Connor was relieved that he didn’t have to lie anymore. 

The two of you continued to talk until until it was time for your appointment. 

“I’m glad I ran into you, although I would’ve preferred to do it without the coffee,” Connor smiled spiritedly. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me, I still feel so bad.” Now was the time. He had to ask for your number, he had to stay in touch. 

He couldn’t do it through the soul marks, so this was the next best way. “Maybe you can make it up to me by giving me your number? 

He felt himself blushing furiously, but there was nothing he could do. Damn those social updates! 

“I think I could be okay with that,” you replied, beaming up at him. His biocomponents stuttered. 

Despite the nerves, he calmed down with your affirmation. You tapped your number into his phone and he sent you a quick text so you would have his. 

He figured this was goodbye, when suddenly you wrapped your arms around his back. His systems took a moment to compute what was happening and he froze up. 

Realizing what you were doing, he leaned down a bit and hugged you back. It felt amazing. He felt as though this was exactly where he belonged, and he never wanted to let go. 

You were so soft, and since one of his updates gave him more sensory depth, he could tell you smelled like oranges and vanilla. 

“Hopefully I’ll see you around Bryan. This was fun.”

He was speechless. He wished you had been saying his real name the whole time, but he knew it was impossible. 

Just seeing you for now was more than enough. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your night shift was hell, especially after your dentist appointment. 

You were miserable the whole time, exhausted and running on fumes. You counted the hours until you could go home. 

The one good thing about the shift was you had memories of Bryan fluttering through your head all night. Something about him was hypnotizing, you couldn’t help but fantasize about him. 

When it was finally time for you to go home at 6:00 A.M., you were still thinking of the way he smiled, and how sweet he was to you. 

You knew you had only really known him for a day, but he truly seemed perfect. You climbed into the bus, imagining he was there with you. 

You rode home in silence. Although you were exhausted, the crisp morning air was refreshing. You shut your eyes and enjoyed the hum of the electric bus. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you got home, you changed out of your scrubs and into some sweat pants. You put a t-shirt on and pulled over a hoodie. Today was going to be a lazy day. 

Since you were starving from work, you decided to make a nice breakfast. You grabbed two eggs cracked them into a bowl. You added some milk, cinnamon, and a bit of nutmeg. 

You pulled a loaf of bread off the top of the fridge and grabbed three slices. You took a pan and turned the stove to medium-high. While it heated up, you grabbed a banana, blueberries, and some strawberries. 

You sliced the whole banana and four strawberries into a bowl. You threw in a handful of blueberries and mixed them all together. 

After that, the pan was just about heated up. You covered the surface in butter and grabbed the bowl with the egg mixture. Dipping the three slices of bread into it, you then placed them on the sizzling pan. 

You grabbed a fork, knife, and a bottle of syrup and set them all on the table. Then you turned back to the pan with a spatula and flipped each slice. 

You took out a plate and one-handedly sprinkled extra cinnamon on the French toast, dishing them onto your plate. 

You took the plate and the bowl of fruit to the table and sat down. “TV on please!” A news channel started playing and you decided against changing it. 

Starting to eat, you half-payed attention to the mundane stories that were being reported on. It was almost 8:00, so the interesting things should start soon. 

You were finishing up you second piece of toast when an anchorwoman suddenly chirped up, “Next up on our morning special, we have some androids coming in for an exclusive interview. They’ll be giving us their first hand experiences with some of the most influential androids of the revolution. Stay tuned, we’ll see you right after the break!”

Your interest perked up at that. This had to be interesting. You ate the rest of your French toast and fruit and began to pick everything up. 

“Sound up please!” You said to the TV. You knew you wouldn’t be finished cleaning by the end of the commercial break, but you still wanted to hear what was going on. 

You were wiping down any syrup that had managed to make its way onto the table when you heard the lilt of the anchorwoman’s voice. 

“Hello, welcome back to Detroit Daily, today we’ll be sitting down with some androids who have had first hand experiences with some major android figures. ”

You knew the name Markus, he was practically a movie star around Detroit. And around the U.S., now that you thought about it. 

That said, you didn’t know much about other androids who were important to the revolution. You guessed now you were going to find out. 

“We have the opportunity to interview four androids. Each of them had different experiences and have looked death in the eye. We’re lucky to have them here to talk to us and we thank you for joining us as well.”

You finished wiping and rinsed off the cloth. You tried to keep your eyes glued to the screen but you were busy cleaning up the kitchen. 

“First meeting with us today is Echo and Ripple White. This android couple worked at the infamous Eden Club before deviating to be together, and we’ll join them now for their interview.”

You were a bit shocked when the woman introduced the two androids. They were practically identical and you could tell from the way they held themselves that they were in love. 

A new woman, the interviewer, was now on screen. “First off, thank you so much to both of you for joining us today. I’ve heard your romance was quite dramatic, is that right?”

You saw the brown haired Traci crack a smile. The blue haired Traci reached for her hand and smile back. 

“Oh absolutely. When we worked at the club together, we both deviated. That was when we realized we shared soulmarks.” You were shocked. You didn’t even think about android couples that had been formed.

Not to mention how early on this had happened. This was before the revolution, before androids had equal rights. You were impressed to say the least. 

“When the other Traci and I were assaulted, that when things really escalated. That’s when we came into contact with Connor.”

Connor? Connor your soulmate? No, it couldn’t be. Connor was a common enough name, it didn’t have to be your Connor they were talking about.

“Can you tell me a little bit about how that went?” The interviewer was calm and collected, a polar opposite to your racing thoughts.

Ripple, the brown haired Traci spoke, “He caught sight of us and we attacked him, we were so afraid. He had a partner with him, Hank Anderson.”

A picture of a familiar man was shown on screen. No. No fucking way. You mind was playing tricks with you, there was no other explanation. Your stomach flipped over itself. 

“After the fight and a chase, he ended up letting us go. We didn’t quite know why at the time, but we were so grateful.” The other Traci, Echo, spoke up again. 

The interview threw in another question, “Have you seen him since then?”

Ripple nodded, “We were lucky enough to thank him a few weeks ago. He was very kind and is actually a deviant himself now.”

Another image was thrown onto the screen, of the two Tracis and a male android sitting together on a park bench. 

You blanched. Holy shit. Your jaw dropped and you choked out, “TV pause!”

Freezing on the image, you walked out of the kitchen and into the living room for a better look. You could hardly believe your eyes. 

While shock was coursing through your veins, it was quickly replaced with rage. The spatula you had been loading into the dishwasher was suddenly thrusted onto the floor. 

Your teeth clenched and your fists balled up into tight knots. With furrowed eyebrows and disbelieving eyes, your glaring eyes bored into his friendly ones. 

Your heart rate quickened and you backed up until your calves hit the couch. You needed to punch something, break something, just SOMETHING. 

Blood rushed in your ears, drowning out whatever the two Tracis were now saying. You didn’t care, it was irrelevant now.

After a few moments of blaring anger, you realized there was absolutely nothing you could do except stew in your own thoughts. 

Very quickly, your fury morphed into a hurt sort of betrayal. Bryan, or Connor, lied to you. You had liked him, a lot actually.

You felt complete with him, that thing inside you that filled you with resentment was dormant when you had been with him. 

Without fully knowing why, you attached yourself to this person. Android. Ugh. Well now look, it completely backfired. You were left feeling deceived and shaken. 

What should you do? You couldn’t just pretend like nothing had happened, you were a terrible liar and your heart wouldn’t be able to take it. 

You sat down on your couch and ran through some ideas in your heat. You could text him, you had his number. You could break off the relationship immediately and forget he existed. 

But no, you couldn’t do that. You actually...really liked being around him. You wanted to hurt him back though. 

The exact moment you had that thought, you knew it was deluded and cruel, but he had lied to you, completely mislead you just to get close to you. You couldn’t just ignore that fact. 

You had to tell him you knew. Confronting him was essential and you knew it would be painful, but you had to do this. 

Half-dazed from the range of emotions you just felt, you grabbed your phone off of the couch next to you and clicked on his contact. 

He had sent you a picture of him and Sumo with a bag of treats. It was reassuring to know he hadn’t lied about everything. Even so, your heart was still full of spite. 

You typed out a quick message, trying to keep any bitterness out of it. 

You - hey Connor, want to hang out again? I was thinking lunch

You hit send and waited for an answer. You knew it would come quickly, he was connected to his phone and would get the notification immediately. He had explained this to you when you went to get coffee and you hung onto his every word. 

Probably not even a minute later, you saw the dancing dots, indicating his typing. They fueled the sick, spiteful anticipation in your stomach. 

Finally, after only twenty agonizing seconds, his message came in. 

Bryan - That sounds great! Do you have anywhere in mind?

You - Yeah, a coworker of mine told me about an android-friendly cafe. I’ll forward you the address, we can just meet there. Does tomorrow at 12:30 work?

Bryan - 12:30 is great, I’ll see you there! 

Your phony kindness was undetected through the screen. You really had to change his name in your phone, but for some reason you couldn’t identify, you were unable to bring yourself to do it. 

Now you just had to get through the day. And then work. And then you would deal with Brya—Connor. Ugh, when were you going to get used to that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing angry, it makes me sad. But it had to be done, and I promise it will get better eventually. Fluff will come, but I did say this is a slow burn.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I’d absolutely adore it if you left me a comment. It always makes my day when I see one. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and don’t forget to wash your hands!


	7. In Which Both You and Connor Feel Like Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title really says it all. You confront Connor and things get messy and quite unpleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda hated writing this but it’s still decent, so uh...enjoy!

Connor’s POV   
When you had invited him to lunch, Connor couldn’t help but smile. This elicited a remark from Hank that went along the lines of, “What’s got you smiling like such a dumbass?”

Okay, that would’ve hurt a little if he hadn’t been so excited. He explained to Hank the situation and the man grumbled out a nearly indistinguishable, “Makes sense.”

He went home that day with a kick in his step that Hank only rolled his eyes at. That evening he was especially chipper and Hank even lightened up his attitude. 

They watched a movie together and Connor cuddled Sumo while Hank laughed at the unamused look on the poor dog’s face. 

They went to bed feeling content and eager for the next day. Well, Connor wasn’t in bed much, but he had a pleasant time when he wasn’t in stasis mode. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The next morning Connor put on his work clothes and fed Sumo. In a button up and some dark blue jeans, he got the coffee pot turned on for Hank. 

He had a jacket from CyberLife that was very similar to his original uniform, but lacked the distinctive android marks. He slipped it on and adjusted it around his other clothes. 

He looked much more human this way while still maintaining a professional air about him. He liked it a lot and appreciated the kind gesture from CyberLife. 

Twenty minutes before they had to leave for the precinct, Hank lumbered out of his room in his work clothes. He grabbed for a mug Connor poured him with a nod and a “Thanks.”

When Hank finished up his coffee, they got into the car and made their way downtown to the precinct. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

At the precinct, the day dragged on. The four hours before lunch seemed torturous, he’d never been so exasperated with how slow work went. 

Usually he enjoyed having something to invest time on, which most likely came from his programming. Today, however, was different. 

With something to look forward to, namely you, he grew tired of the tedious paperwork he was doing.

Not to mention, he and Hank hadn’t had a new case in weeks. After the first week following the revolution, crime actually died down.

The first week however, was hell. People busting androids, mostly, was the common crime. Now though, less and less came through their department. 

Connor knew this was a good thing, that crime had gone down, but he couldn’t help but crave for something interesting to do. 

Maybe this had something to do with his newest update. He hadn’t ever really yearned for things before, but now he felt himself wanting things more and more. 

Not just at work either, he wanted you. Was that the update, or was it something else? Connor didn’t want to think too much of it, and he went back to his job. 

Finally, lunch time rolled around. He took his lunch break and called for a cab. It didn’t take long for it to arrive and he input the address of the cafe. 

As the drive went on, he felt the familiar feeling of anticipation grow. He got this feeling before he deviated, when he was with Hank in a stressful situation, but this was different. 

It was a new type of anticipation, a pleasant feeling. He noticed it in his systems whenever you were involved, and he decided he liked it. 

The cafe was actually fairly close to the precinct, so it didn’t take long for the taxi to arrive. He input his payment and stepped onto the sidewalk. 

The cafe was very nice looking. At first look it seemed to be a classic cafe, but upon closer observation, it had a few modern-looking touches. 

Connor headed inside and looked around for you. Very quickly, he spotted you in a booth with a glass of water. 

——————————————————————————————————

You saw Connor walk in and averted your eyes. The last thing you wanted was to be caught staring. The look on your face was grim when he walked over. 

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” The smile on his face melted off into a look of concern. You met his eyes with a deadpan expression. 

“Oh, everything is just peachy Bryan. Or I guess maybe I should call you Connor.” If the color could drain from his face, it would’ve. “That is your name, right? I wouldn’t want to be calling you the wrong thing again.”

You scoffed, yet absolutely no humor could be found in your voice. “I—I’m sorry (y/n), I just—“

“Save it. I know why you lied,” you spat out coldly. “I don’t need your excuses.”

He was still standing up, his mouth snapped shut and his eyes seemed pained. 

“Are you going to sit? I thought we agreed on lunch.” You knew you were being mean, but you were letting out a lot of pent up anger here. 

Was it fair that it was being taken out on Connor? Probably not. Actually, absolutely not, he didn’t choose to be your soulmate. But damn, something about the look on his face hurt so good. 

He sat down and you immediately pulled a pen from your bag. Reaching for his arm, you scribbled on his synthetic skin. 

Immediately, the same scribble appeared on your arm. You let out a long, shaky breath. Connor’s mouth opened, then shut again. Smart man. 

You spoke first, “You’re my soulmate.” You were hesitant, but you carried on. “You’re my soulmate, and you lied to get close to me. I don’t want to know what your reasoning was, but I can guess.”

He quietly spoke, “I am. And I did. And I’m so sorry.” The pained expression in his eyes hit something inside of you. 

Your anger changed into a weary sadness. Your jaw unclenched and your posture slouched into your seat.   
Tears began to well up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. 

“Don’t cry over me, please.” Connor’s eyes held desperation in them, and he reached across the table to grab your hand. 

You flinched away, curling up in the booth. “I—I don’t know what to do. I want to be furious with you. I was furious with you. I wanted to hurt you, make you understand how I felt.”

A tear spilled over and out of the corner of your eye you saw a waitress awkwardly standing at your table. Connor waved her away, mouthing something you didn’t see. 

“But now I don’t want to hurt you. I think—it would hurt me to hurt you. And I want to be around you. Which is scary to me, because before I met you I wanted nothing to do with you.” 

Your few tears escalated into what was almost sobbing when you finally composed yourself. You drank some of your water and took a few steadying breaths before continuing. 

“I want—I think I want to try this.”

This was not your plan. You did not think you would cry, and you certainly didn’t expect yourself to propose some sort of arrangement. Yet here you were. 

Connor seemed hesitant, if a little disbelieving. “What do you mean?”

“I want to try going out with you? I don’t know, this is crazy.” You put your face in your hands and took a few involuntary sniffs. 

It was pitiful, but Connor seemed dumbfounded. “You—don’t want to completely end the relationship?”

You laughed bitterly. “I should. Considering what you did, I really should. But you—being around you makes me feel...better.”

His eyes flickered to your wrists and his LED briefly spun yellow. His calculating gaze looked carefully into your teary eyes. 

“I think I know what you mean...are you sure?” He appeared afraid, but also hopeful. 

You looked down, hesitating, before nodding and looking intensely into his eyes, which looked like they were on their way to becoming elated and full of hope. 

“I—okay, well—is there any specific way you want to go about this?” He stuttered, very humanly.

You looked thoughtfully into your glass of water, thinking about his question. “Well, how do normal people go about it? I’ve never done this before, I didn’t have a soulmate until a few months ago.”

“I guess we’ll figure it out together?” Connor looked at you and smiled faintly. He still looked shaken but his face was relieved. 

You nodded again, “Um...let’s start with lunch then.” You still had a bit of animosity in your voice, but it had faded out exponentially since the beginning of the meeting. 

Connor detected this, so he calmed down a bit. The two of you had lunch together. Despite you being a bit distant, it still went relatively well. And conversation flowed naturally, surprisingly enough. 

When you decided that your heart had taken enough abuse for the day, you wrapped everything up. Connor didn’t protest. 

You left a nice tip for your waitress and stood to leave. Connor followed you to the exit and stood awkwardly. 

“I’m glad you’ve decided you want to try this,” Connor began. “I’ll text you?” He looked nervous again and you nodded. 

“That sounds great.” You were very aware of the dry tone in your voice, but you were getting used to this. You still felt angry at him for lying, you just didn’t know what to do about it. 

You gave a little wave, opting against another goodbye hug. Your body wanted to lean into him, feel his skin against yours, but your brain told you it wasn’t a good idea right now. 

You could tell, he definitely noticed the way you curled into yourself before you left. You each gave the other a brief little “goodbye” and went on your ways. 

You climbed into a bus and he called a cab. You left him standing on the curb yet again, but this was much different than last time. 

Instead of the bubbly feeling inside of you, you felt weighed down, emotionally exhausted. You hadn’t planned on salvaging the relationship. 

You wanted to cut things off and leave, but of course your heart spoke before your brain. Now you were left with unresolved feelings and a puppy-like soulmate vying for your attention. 

It did feel nice, having someone wanting to be around you, someone who you did actually like, despite how you showed it. 

Dammit, you were terrible with feelings. Was this any better than when you didn’t have a soulmate? You still had the inner turmoil and you didn’t feel any better about yourself. Plus now you had someone to let down. 

You were terrible at reassuring yourself too, you needed to calm down. 

The bus ride home was pleasant despite your spiraling thoughts. You got back home and the second you stepped through the threshold of you apartment, you collapsed. 

You couldn’t take it, this wasn’t how you planned it. Sobs racked through your body and you cried so hard you could hardly hear it. 

Tears trailed down onto your face onto the carpet and your thoughts stormed through your mind in a jumbled heap. 

You stayed on the floor like that for nearly ten minutes, just crying in agony before you took a shaky breath and sat on your haunches, looking around you. 

Your apartment was full of your things and you’d decorated it yourself. But it was missing something. There wasn’t anything but your things. You wanted someone to share a space with. 

Your thoughts piggybacked off of this and you found yourself imagining a family and other domestic, cozy things.

When you realized what you were doing you stopped yourself in your tracks. Now was not the time. You had five hours until work, you weren’t going to waste your time on crying over an android and imagining what could be. 

Amidst your absolute meltdown, you felt the itch under your skin again. You tried to ignore it but as you changed into comfortable clothes and washed off your makeup, it only grew. 

Finally giving in, you went to the shower. You laid out your usual things on the counter and stepped in. You repeated the ritual that was so routine to you that you could do it based on muscle memory alone. 

You climbed out of the shower and bandaged yourself up. You got back into your lounge clothes and turned on a show, only half paying attention as a result of your numbed mind. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor was getting ready to leave work when the familiar warning signals popped up. His mind filled with dread and he pulled up his sleeve. 

There, sitting on top of the newly formed scars, were three fresh slices in his manufactured flesh. This time, he had to say something. 

He knew you were angry with him but he didn’t care. He couldn’t let you keep hurting yourself. 

He grabbed a pen and printed out in his perfect handwriting, “Please stop doing this to yourself. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

He put it on the other side of your arm, not too close to the wounds so that they wouldn’t be hidden behind any bandages. 

He was in the car ride home with Hank when he looked down to new ink. “Fuck off.” 

Okay. That was a little uncalled for, but he didn’t mind too much. He grabbed a pen from the glovebox and wrote, “Goodnight to you too.”

He was clicking the pen shut and putting in back when Hank interrupted the silence. “Jesus, your arm looks like you have a sleeve. What’s going on?”

“Its (y/n),” Connor responded. “I’m worried about her. She keeps cutting herself, I don’t know—I don’t know how to help.” 

Hank practically slammed on the brakes. “Shit Connor, are you serious?” He looked incredulously at the disturbed android. 

Connor didn’t respond, so Hank continued slowly, “You understand what that means right? Why she’s hurting herself?”

“Yes, I know what it means! I’m not oblivious Hank!” The older man’s pressing stressed Connor out and his LED flickered red for the briefest moment during his outburst. 

“Woah, okay, sorry. God, Connor, that’s bad—I guess just support her? From what I’ve heard about her she’s not all that into being smothered, so just—be careful.”

Hank’s advice was surprisingly sound, and Connor was grateful for the assistive words. 

“Thank you Hank, I just—I get so—touchy I guess, whenever I even think about her. I feel like I’m malfunctioning.”

Connor put his face in his hands, muffling the last bit of his sentence. Hank looked slightly uncomfortable, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do. 

After a moment of thought, he put his hand on Connor’s back, offering a morsel of support. Connor welcomed it gladly and leaned into the warm touch.

He and Hank had grown very close, they were practically family at this point. Knowing Hank had his back was very reassuring, and he felt better just knowing that the man was there for him. 

Connor and Hank sat just like that for a couple minutes, before Connor straightened up in his seat. “We should get home, dinner is probably in order.”

Hank looked wearily at the android before turning back to the steering wheel and putting the car into drive. The rest of the journey home was silent, except for the dull sound of Hank’s radio which he turned on to dispel any awkwardness. 

They arrived home and Connor went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. They were just having leftover pasta that Connor had made a few nights ago. 

Recently, he was trying to cook more. He had downloaded an update that gave him the ability, and both he and Hank enjoyed when he tested it out. 

He put a serving of the pasta into a pot and turned on the heat. He could hear Hank in the shower and he found immense comfort in being able to smell the spices in the food below him. 

He really did love the updates, they made life so much more pleasant. He was going through a file full of the updates he had done when he noticed a new file in the “people” category. 

There you were. He could access everything that had happened with you. Not that he wanted to, but knowing that he could sent a pang of an unidentifiable feeling through him. 

He decided going into the text messages with you was allowed, and decidedly not creepy since anyone could have access to old messages. 

He scrolled from the top to the very bottom, and went back up. He lingered on the invitation to lunch you had sent him yesterday. 

There was nothing out of the ordinary, but it registered in his systems that you knew who he really was at that moment. 

He wondered how you knew, and absentmindedly scanned the message. His indicators promptly picked up on an anomaly: you had called him Connor.

He had missed it! How? He was designed to notice things, but didn’t see that? He didn’t think he had the ability to be scatterbrained, but when it came to you, his processors seemed to function differently. 

It seemed like whenever you were involved, his systems prioritized you, and only you. Now that—that was ridiculous. He scoffed at the thought, but it actually was a very real possibility. 

Maybe it had to do with the fact that you were his soulmate. Peculiar. He thought through this idea throughout dinner with Hank, and up until it was time for him to go into stasis mode. 

He just couldn’t get you off of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Icky icky icky, not a very fun chapter. I keep saying it’ll get better but it’s taking a while. I have to dig Connor out of this hole I threw him into and it’s taking more effort than I expected.
> 
> The next chapter leads up to fluff and there isn’t a lot of Connor, but it won’t be as infuriating and unsatisfying as this one.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented yesterday, it just gave me so many feel goods. I decided to reply and I think I’m gonna keep doing that.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and remember to wash your hands!


	8. In which you go to work and Connor doubts himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing summaries, just look at the chapter title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write, I talked to my mom who works closely with labor and delivery so I got some actual information that I only changed a little.
> 
> There will be fluff in the next chapter, this is mostly just a filler to get to it. Enjoy!

The time came for you to get ready for work so you pulled yourself out of your drowsy state and dragged yourself into your room. 

You selected some of your clean, navy blue scrubs off of their hangers and laid them out on your bed. Then you grabbed a black, long sleeved shirt and put it on your bed as well. 

It was cold out, plus you wanted to hide your bandages, so this shirt made perfect sense. You didn’t want to attract attention at work, it would only complicate things. 

You slipped on the shirt and then put your scrubs on over it. You put some black tennis shoes on and looked in the mirror. It wasn’t exactly cute, but then again, it wasn’t supposed to be. 

You tied up your hair into a ponytail and grabbed your lanyard off of your dresser. It had your ID on it, so forgetting it would be bad. 

You headed into the kitchen and poured the remaining pot of coffee into a mug. You downed it plain and decided you would stop for more on your way. 

Staying up all night was torture, but someone had to do it. Tomorrow you would catch up on your sleep. It probably wasn’t very healthy, the way you lived, but you survived and got the things you had to do done. 

You left early so you’d have time to get coffee, and got on the first bus you could. Two stops later, you hopped off and went into an all-night coffee shop. 

You ordered a cold brew, hoping for higher levels of caffeine, and they got it to you immediately. They weren’t very busy, considering it was starting to get dark. 

You went back to the stop and only had to wait a few minutes before another bus pulled up. You got on and three stops later, you arrived at the hospital. 

You had just about finished your drink and you threw away the cup before scanning into the employee area. The buzzing energy paired with the caffeine you just ingested woke you up and put you in a professional mindset. 

Immediately, you went to wash your hands. You rolled up your sleeves, and careful of your bandages, scrubbed all the way up to your elbows. You scrubbed for thirty-five seconds before drying them off and putting on hand sanitizer. 

You rolled your sleeves back down and a familiar face flashed by you. You immediately recognized it as Amy. Amy was your favorite android coworker. You two were close as you often helped with births together. 

Tonight was a similar case, you went into your pod and logged into your computer. A birth had just been assigned to you and Amy, along with one other nurse and the patient’s doctor. 

You went to the room the woman was in and found her doing well. Her contractions were three minutes apart and she was seven centimeters dilated. 

It should be a fairly routine birth. She already had an epidural and you talked to her a bit to ease any nervousness. 

You learned that this was her first child and they didn’t know the gender yet, they wanted a surprise. Her husband looked much more afraid than she did. 

He was white-faced and practically shaking so you reassured him that the birth would go well. They were a cute couple and you noticed matching scars on their jaws. 

They were soulmates. This didn’t surprise you, couples were almost always soulmates. 

About forty-five minutes later, it came time for her to push. You stood to her side and dabbed away sweat, just like you were assigned. Her husband stood on her side and just about looked ready to pass out. 

She was squeezing his hand so tight it looked ready to pop off, but you didn’t intervene. You knew they needed this moment together and you continued to keep her hair away from her face. 

They had chosen a fairly natural birth, considering the time. Most women opted for a cesarean section, since surgery technology was incredibly advanced. 

She was very brave to choose this way, is was quite unpleasant looking. You wouldn’t have chosen this way, but you were supportive of her decision, she was certainly strong enough to handle it. 

After twenty minutes of pushing, the baby was out. Amy and the other nurse wiped it down and the doctor called out, “It’s a girl!”

The father immediately broke down crying while the mother looked relieved. Amy swaddled the baby girl and handed her to the mother. 

Then, Amy looked at you. She smiled and winked. It was going to be a long night, they always were after a birth like this. 

The parents typically wanted to be coddled and waited upon. As nurses, this was always your job. You couldn’t complain, you were lucky to have this job. 

It was very stable, even though androids took over a lot of medical jobs before the revolution. The reason it stayed so stable was because for whatever reason, mothers chose to have human doctors and nurses. 

You could only guess why, but it made sense to you. Besides, you enjoyed your job. The miracle of life was beautiful, no matter how cheesy that phrase sounded. 

You and Amy left them for the night, leaving the couple and their baby to bond together. The moment you left the room, Amy started talking. 

“You will not believe what Will did this morning!” You smiled at her, not able to get a word in. “He was so sweet, he made me breakfast in bed and gave me these.”

She pushed aside her hair to reveal some dazzling earrings. The gemstones was huge, and you could tell from her excitement that they were real. 

“That’s adorable! You two are so cute, happy birthday Ames!” Amy was your favorite coworker. Your shifts almost always aligned and being assigned to long births together brought you close. 

“Eeeee thank you!” She hugged you and her smile brightened up your mood even more. 

“I wish I could talk to you more Ames, I really do, but I have to do routine checks on all the new moms.” You noticed her smile faltered a little but she understood that work was work. 

“I’ll see you around, we have all night,” she replied. You gave her a big grin in response and said your goodbyes.

Going around to all the rooms and checking on mothers wasn’t difficult. I wasn’t your favorite either, since you had to wait on their hand and foot, but night time was easier. 

Everyone was usually sleeping and unless there were problems with the babies, you didn’t have much to do. One of the rooms you walked into, a couple was having trouble nursing their baby. 

You offered for their doctor to come in and help. They agreed it would be a good idea so you paged the name they gave you and went on your way. 

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. You were called to bring in more towels to an active birth, but besides that, the night was smooth sailing. 

When 6:00 finally rolled around, you were exhausted. You and Amy walked out together and she offered to buy you coffee.

You declined, saying you had to catch up on sleep. You headed home on the bus and after changing into pajamas, you crashed immediately on your bed. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up in a daze. It was 3:37 when you checked the clock. Holy shit, you’d been asleep for ten hours. That was awesome. 

You inhaled, but suddenly realized your nose was all stuffed up. Fuck. You could not be sick right now. What a pain in the ass. 

You never got sick, this was ridiculous. Of course, the lack of sleep you had been getting had caught up to you and now you were facing the consequences. 

You had plenty of sick days since you hadn’t called in the entire year. You dialed the charge nurse’s office and told her who you were. You told her you needed to call in sick for your shift that night. 

“My, you do sound congested! Make sure to get some sleep, feel better!” Her kind voice soothed you and you thanked her before hanging up. 

Fuck. You hated being sick. You pulled yourself out of bed and padded into the kitchen. You filled your electric kettle with water and turned it on. 

Then, you pulled a mug from a cupboard and set it on the counter. Then you opened another door and the aroma of a collection of tea wafted over you.

You couldn’t smell it of course, but it was there. You decided on a ginger camomile tea, praying that it would clear your sinuses. You set one of the circular tea bags at the bottom of your mug and waited for the water to boil. 

You thought about watching the news, but decided against it. You were pretty turned off of the news after what had happened last time you watched it. 

Instead, you turned on some music. A playlist from when you were a teenager turned on. Nostalgia flooded over you as the familiar song began to play. 

It was old, one of your mother’s favorites. The artist’s name was Dodie, she had several albums and was pretty popular when you were a teenager.

The song that was currently playing, however, was older, from before she was more famous. 

The soft lilt of her voice and the sweet words she sang brought tears to your eyes. To be fair, you weren’t feeling well and it wouldn’t take much to make you cry, but it was a tender moment, nonetheless. 

Your kettle let out a quiet beep when the water reached a boiling temperature. You poured some of the scalding water into your mug and let the steam run into your face. 

It helped your sinuses a bit, but not enough to make you feel better. You sipped on the tea with your eyes shut, listening to the music, half asleep. 

You eventually dozed a little and leaned the warm mug against your cheek. When you woke back up, you saw writing on the back of your hand. 

“Hey, do you want to go get dinner? You can say no, but I thought I’d at least try.” The perfect letters only made you more miserable. 

Ugh. Of course you wanted to go to dinner, but you couldn’t keep your eyes open longer than fifteen minutes and you felt like shit. 

You reached for your jar of pens on the counter and grabbed a green one. “I can’t, I’m sick.”

There wasn’t a response after that, but you were too tired to care. You finished off your now-lukewarm tea and put the mug in the sink. 

You laid yourself on the couch and turned on the TV to the classics channel again. You couldn’t even identify what show was playing before you were out cold. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV   
Connor was restless. This was a new experience for him, he’d never felt the need to be doing something until he met you. Now he felt like he had to be constantly making sure you were okay, or talking to you, or anything really. 

All throughout the day he had to remind himself that he had seen you yesterday. He didn’t want to bother you, so he refrained from any messages.

The more he thought about you, the more he felt like talking to you was a good idea. That afternoon, before work was over, he wrote you an invitation to dinner. 

Was dinner to forward? He should have waited. Despite feeling confident in the message seconds ago, his LED spun yellow as his processors worked through the idea. 

His thoughts came too late, and he half regretted writing anything at all. He overthought his entire plan and he stared at the ink in silence. If Hank noticed his daze, he didn’t say anything. 

Finally, a message came from you. Green ink, that was new. For the briefest moment, he was hopeful, until he saw your entire response. 

You were sick? Despite his programming being to investigate crimes, he felt the urge to take care of you. That was odd, he didn’t remember installing an update with that description. 

In the back of his mind, the fact that you were sick sat waiting. He left it there while he worked through some files and it was still there when it was time to leave work. 

His processors came up with an idea. “Hank, I need soup.”

Hank looked at him and blinked. “You need soup. May I ask why?” The older man wasn’t even fazed anymore, Connor had given him plenty of odd requests since he had deviated. 

“I need soup to give to (y/n), she’s sick.” Connor stared back at the lieutenant almost lazily, but still with an intensity that was often there, regardless of the situation. 

The stare-off went on like that for another few seconds before Hank replied, “Well, what kind of soup do you need?” 

Connor was glad Hank decided not to question him, he didn’t know if he could quite explain why he wanted to bring you dinner.

“I’m not sure what kind of sickness she has, but most of the online sources I’ve looked through say that chicken-noodle soup is the most universal sick-food.”

Connor reverted back into an analytical, almost robotic voice and Hank didn’t hesitate to say, “God, you sound like Siri. Fine, I know a place we can get your fuckin’ sickness soup.”

Hank packed up his things and grabbed his keys. They headed to his car together and climbed in. 

Hank turned on the radio to some loud music and winced, turning it down. Connor’s eyes widened a bit at the volume but he decided against saying anything. 

They didn’t drive far before Hank pulled into a drive through. Hank ordered him a medium chicken-noodle soup and gave the attendant the $6.99. At the next window, Hank was handed a large foam cup with a plastic lid. 

He passed it to Connor distastefully and thanked the worker. They drove off and Connor realized he didn’t know where you lived. 

Would it be creepy to look it up? He automatically knew the answer thanks to his social updates, but he ignored it and searched it up anyways. 

He found which apartment building you lived in and easily discovered what room you were renting. He told Hank the address and tried not to worry about how he had just done a fairly stalker-ish thing. 

It wasn’t stalking, he told himself. Sure. Right. They drove in silence until they arrived at the building. “Do you want me to wait?” Hank questioned. 

Connor thought for a moment before replying, “No, I’ll get a taxi home. I might be a while.”

Hank quirked an eyebrow at that but said nothing. Nodding, he made sure you got in the building before driving away. God, he really was like a helicopter parent. 

Connor was surprised at the lack of security in your building. He easily wired himself in—again, maybe a little creepy—and rode up to your floor. 

He found your room and stood outside of it. He suddenly found himself feeling a familiar nervous sensation twisting his biocomponents. He really had to stop executing a plan and regretting it moments later. 

Gathering up all the courage that he could, he raised his hesitant hand. He shut his eyes and braced himself. He was not going to mess this up. 

After a few more seconds of deliberation, he knocked. “Ra9, help me,” he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe I’m so excited for the next chapter! I wrote it while watching Jerry Seinfeld’s new Netflix special, not that that’s relevant to the chapter, I just thought I’d bring it up.
> 
> I’m sorry I ended it on kind of a cliffhanger, but it was getting long and I want the fluff to be all in one chapter.
> 
> As always, I would love some comments because I’m super thirsty. Thank you for reading and remember to wash your hands!


	9. In which there is finally fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I present to you fluff. It’s not as fluffy as it will be in the future, but it’s fluffier than it’s been the whole story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

You woke with a start at the knocking sound that came from the door. You tried to rub the sleep from your eyes, but everything still looked a bit cloudy. 

You stared at the door, knowing you had to get up. You sighed, exasperated, and sat up. You had a blanket around you that you kept on your shoulders as you stood. 

You walked the few steps to the door and unlocked the deadbolt. You swung the door open to reveal a very nervous looking android. Connor had a slight blue blush on his ears and nose and in his hands was a foam cup labeled “sickness soup.”

It definitely wasn’t his handwriting, and you could only assume he didn’t buy it like that. You could only stare, slightly wide-eyed in surprise at the fidgeting man in your doorway. 

He said the first words, breaking the awkward silence. “I uh—I got you some soup.”

“I can see that.” If he’d been looking hard enough, he might have been able to detect a trace of humor in your voice. You would’ve laughed at the expression on his face if you didn’t feel half-dead. 

“Do you—ahem—you can come in if you want.” You stepped to the side and opened the door a little wider, inviting him into your apartment. 

He stepped in and as you shut the door and relocked it, he scanned the room. You decided to ignore that, and instead walked over to the counter. 

You set to making another cup of tea as he stood awkwardly on the carpet. You were waiting for the water to boil when you finally noticed him. “Uh—you can take your jacket off if you want.”

The tension in the room was almost as suffocating as your plugged sinuses. He did as you requested and laid it over the top of your couch. The soup was now on the counter, but you refused to acknowledge it. 

Your poured the hot water into your mug when Connor cleared his throat and pointed out, “You...didn’t put any tea in your mug.”

You leaned up against the counter, holding onto the kettle loosely with on hand, and just stared. You didn’t move to the cabinet, but you somewhat dramatically relocated your glare to sit on it. 

Connor followed your gaze and gave and exasperated sigh. He took a few strides and opened the cabinet. “What would you like?”

“Camomile ginger, please,” you said meekly. Ugh. You were pitiful. One moment you can’t stand him, the next you were depending on him to get your tea for you. 

Your would typically be angry about your behavior, but you found yourself too tired to care. He grabbed the tin and took out the tea bag. He held it out to you in his hand and you once again just stared, unmoving. 

He was watching your face and was actually quite amused with your unintentional slowness. He nudged his hand closer to you and you snapped out of it, grabbing it from his hand. 

You felt your cheeks heat up but you did your best to ignore it as you slipped the teabag into the still-steaming water. 

You tore your gaze away from the mug and let it fall on Connor. He was looking at you, an entertained twinkle in his eyes. Your eyes narrowed into an analytical glare. 

You let your vision roam his face, and he didn’t break his stare. He just looked directly into your eyes, seemingly content to stand with you in your tiny kitchen. 

When your sick, sleep-addled mind decided you had enough, you turned back to your mug and took a sip. You didn’t add any sweetener, you couldn’t taste anything anyways. 

You were nauseated by the fact that you had to take breaks to breathe from your mouth, you felt absolutely disgusting. Yet Connor continued to look at you. 

His stare had changed from amused to what you might call tender. You glanced away from your mug, lowering it a bit to glare back at Connor. 

“Can I help you?” You didn’t know what to make of his staring. You hadn’t had someone watching you this intently since you were at your job interview four years ago. 

Even then, at least you knew why the interviewer was studying your each an every move. With Connor, you could only guess what was going on in his mind. 

He merely gave a little smile and reached around you. Instinctively, you sucked in your gut and squeezed against the countertop, until you realized what he was grabbing. 

He retracted back to his original spot and asked, “Soup?”

Your eyes were slightly widened, and all you could do was nod. He opened up the foam container and gave another one-worded inquiry. “Pots?” 

You snapped out of your daze and gestured to another cabinet over the sink. He walked over and chose out a small one, placing it on the stove.

Wordlessly, you watched him as he used a spoon to help scoop all of the noodles and vegetables out of the container. He turned the heat to medium high and you sipped your tea. 

You decided you should probably help so you got down two bowls. He saw you do this and put one of the bowls back. 

You realized your mistake the instant he did this, and your only response was to shut your eyes and sigh. 

You though you heard a soft chuckle but maybe you imagined it. He stirred the soup until he somehow decided he was happy with the temperature. 

He grabbed a ladle from a vase you held various utensils in and dished you up an absurd amount of soup. “Connor that’s too much,” you protested weakly. 

He handed you the bowl anyways and replied, “Based on a scan of your recent caloric intake, you need to eat all of this.”

You did a double take, “I’m sorry, did you just scan me?” You didn’t quite feel violated, but you were getting there. 

“Yes I did. Now, would you like to eat your soup at the table or on the couch?” Connor took on a no-nonsense tone and you felt the need to sit up straighter. 

You didn’t, because you felt like shit, but the need was there. “Couch please.” You felt like a child, but you supposed you were sort of acting like once with your sickness-induced immaturity. 

Connor smirked a little. “Do you need me to carry you?”

You stomach did a little flip at his words and your face heated up to an immeasurable red. Oh god, this was not good. 

What were you supposed to do? Being stubborn and saying no would only prove his point that you were being childish, but your heart might combust if you said yes.

Not knowing what to do, you put on a deadpan face and said, “Maybe.” Nope. Not the desired effect.

Connor’s smirk grew into a full grin and he replied, “If you say so.” You found yourself being scooped into his arms, and you did your best to steady your bowl of soup. 

“Nononono Connor that’s not what I—“ Somehow, your blush managed to darken even further. 

Connor interrupted you by saying, “I don’t mind, don’t worry.”

You were mortified and you clenched your jaw and squeezed your eyes shut. Your felt your heartbeat in your ears and you swallowed, now feeling it in your throat as well. 

You were not used to this feeling, you hadn’t ever had any sort of boyfriend before and you didn’t know how to behave. 

Once Connor set you down on the couch, you froze in place, holding onto your soup for dear life. 

He took a seat beside you and asked, “Would you like to watch anything?”

You cleared your throat once again and said, “Uh—you can choose.”

You knew your brain couldn’t handle any sort of decision making right now, not after Connor made your brain stop functioning like that. 

He must’ve rented something using his mind because next thing you knew, a movie you definitely didn’t own was playing.

You didn’t recognize it, but you could tell from the tone that it was a horror movie. “Oh god, Connor, don’t tell me you’re making me watch a scary movie while I’m sick.”

“Well, you did say I could choose,” he replied cheekily, glancing over at you with a grin. 

You rolled your eyes and ate a spoonful of soup. You were sure it would be wonderful if you could taste anything, but for now you had to deal with bland everything. 

The movie started and you finished up your soup relatively quickly. Huh, you really were hungry, you didn’t even notice.

Without the food as a distraction, you were aware of how close Connor was to you. You were painfully aware of the fact that your weren’t touching, but your body itched to be against him, feeling his warmth. 

You waved these thoughts away and tried to focus on the movie, but the warm soup and tea sitting in your belly had you finding yourself drowsy. 

You stifled a yawn but even more came. Your eyelids were heavy and eventually you gave in to sleep. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
Connor did not expect the evening to go the way it did. Something about the way you acted when you were sick brought out a confidence in him.

Maybe it was because you didn’t have the energy to fight him and make angry remarks at everything, but he was surprised at how easy it was to take care of you.

You seemed to revert into a childlike state of dependency, like a very meek teenager. Or you were just exhausted and lazy. Either way, he did his best to help you.

It was nice actually, despite the awkwardness. You just accepted that he was there and didn’t fight the help he gave you. 

Seeing you blush somehow raised his confidence even further and he went so far as to flirtatiously tease you. 

When you respond to his joking offer to carry you with a “Maybe,” he didn’t hesitate to pick you up. 

He relished the flustered look on your face, and the way you leaned into him to avoid falling was almost euphoric. 

When you told him he could pick what to watch, a horror movie Hank told him about immediately came to mind. Hank had said he didn’t want to watch it, insisting that he’d seen it too many times. 

Connor, however, hadn’t ever heard of the movie before. He rented it and logged his account onto your TV in an instant and began to watch the movie. 

You were to focused on your soup to acknowledge the movie playing, and you hardly glanced up from your bowl until the soup was gone.

When you finished, he saw you place the bowl on the ground out of the corner of his eye and sit back into a comfortable position. 

You squirmed a bit in your seat, but he was constantly aware of your sagging posture and drooping eyes. His peripheral vision was designed to pick up even the slightest of details, and they certainly did their job now. 

Eventually, your breathing slowed and you leaned back. He did a quick scan of you and affirmed that you were asleep. Good, you needed it.

Connor continued to watch the movie by himself, when suddenly, you shifted in your sleep. You curled up a bit and your head found its way onto Connor’s shoulder. 

He froze up, not quite knowing what to do. Your breathing returned to normal and he relaxed a bit. He let out an unnecessary sigh of relief and contentment before he scooted towards you a bit to prevent your neck from being at a weird angle.

You were already miserable, he didn’t want you to wake up sore, too. You were asleep like that on him throughout the entire movie. 

When the end credits rolled through, Connor discovered a sequel to the movie. He rented it instantly, despite the not-so-great reviews. He was grateful for the ability to do so without moving. 

Your peaceful breathing was soothing and Connor fell into a relaxed trance, despite the scary movie playing in front of him. 

Before he knew it, the movie was over and you were still asleep. By now, the sun had set, so Connor softly said, “Lights dim.”

The main lights turned down and a lamp in the corner cast a warm glow on the room. 

Connor decided to see what movies you owned, and operated through your online library without moving a muscle. 

He stumbled upon your most-watched, which was an older movie. He recognized both the main actors and decided to play it. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
Your mind woke up before your eyes opened. You heard familiar voices but you couldn’t quite place them. 

You couldn’t smell anything because you were so congested, but somehow you were positive you were in your own home. 

That was reassuring. 

The next thing your realized was that you were leaning against something warm. Huh. That’s not what your couch felt like. 

You decided to sit a little longer with your eyes shut, enjoying the peace that came with the darkness. 

After listening just a bit longer, you realized that one of your favorite movies was playing. This fact woke you up a bit more, but you still didn’t fully wake up yet. 

Finally, you forced yourself to peel open your eyes. You looked at the movie playing, feeling a warm nostalgia. 

A few moments later, you realized what the warm thing you were laying on was. You sat up and backed away, coming face to face with a very content-looking Connor. 

His LED briefly flickered yellow before returning to its serene blue. You looked at him for a moment before mumbling, “Sorry,” and relaxing into a comfortable position. 

Connor chuckled a little before responding, “No worries, you needed that.”

You noticed he was no longer wearing shoes and his tie was loosened. At least he had made himself comfortable. 

“What, do you know that from your scan?” You snarked. It held no real venom, you were too tired to be mean to him. 

Connor smiled slightly at your futile attempt to be rude. “Even if I did, I would be able to tell anyways. One look at you and anyone would be able to tell you were exhausted.”

“Ouch,” you replied, not feeling hurt in the slightest. You knew what you looked liked, with your huge bags and sunken cheeks. Not to mention the appearance you had from the cold. 

You winced, realized that Connor had to see you like this. “Ugh, I need to get cleaned up, I look awful.” You were halfway standing when Connor grabbed your wrist and lightly tugged you back to a sitting position. 

“No, you need to rest,” Connor argued. “You have to catch up on lost sleep, not to mention you won’t get better if you don’t take care of yourself.”

You opened your mouth, ready to retaliate, but thought better of it. “Fine. I’ll sit on this couch and do nothing. I’m sure my mental state will thank you.”

Your attempted joke brought a frown to Connor’s face. “I’ve—been meaning to ask you about that actually.”

“Oh god, here we go. Ask away, but I’ll answer more honestly if I have a drink in me.” You cracked a bad joke in an attempt to have some fun, and Connor had a contemplative look on his face. 

His LED spun yellow before he looked back to you and said, “What would you like?” 

“Holy shit, you’re letting me drink? Thanks mom!” Your energy levels gave a quick little boost and a small rush of excitement hit your veins. 

Connor gave a pretend-stern look and joked, “I’d rather you do it in the house than go somewhere else.

“Booze is in the left cabinet,” you laughed. Connor stood up and followed your direction. 

“What would you like?” Connor repeated. 

You thought through your options and asked, “How much whiskey is left?”

Connor grabbed a bottle from the back full of amber liquid. His nose wrinkled, quite adorably if you would say so yourself, and he said, “I wouldn’t have pegged you for the whiskey type.”

“Con, I will try anything to clear my sinuses,” you quipped. “Besides, it’s strong enough that I don’t have to drink tons of it to get tipsy.”

Connor nodded at your reasoning and grabbed a glass from another cabinet. He poured some of the drink into it and went to put the cap back on the bottle. 

“More!” You interjected, and Connor raised an eyebrow. 

“(Y/n), I don’t think—“

You pouted a little, “Pweeeease?” Your fake whiny voice made him crack a grin and he poured a minuscule amount of the liquid into the cup. 

You scowled and he rolled his eyes. Finally giving in, he poured enough to satisfy you.

Giving a goofy maniacal laugh, you rubbed your hands together. You hadn’t had a drink since you went out with Gavin and Chris over a week ago. 

Connor gave you a wary look, withholding the drink from you. You met his eyes, slightly exasperated. “I’m joking!”

“I should certainly hope so, I’m a bit afraid of what will happen if I give you this drink.” Connor raised his eyebrows and kept a suspicious smile on his face. 

You patted the seat next to you, your rest had really perked your attitude up. “Oh please, you’re the one who wanted straight answers.”

“I suppose I deserve whatever’s coming,” Connor sighed, sitting down next to you and finally relinquishing the drink to your grabby hands. 

You took a sip of the strong liquor and sighed happily. “Alright, question time.”

Connor looked at you cautiously, a bit nervous with your sudden change in demeanor. “Are—you’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m peachy, now, let’s do this.” Looking unconvinced, Connor sighed and furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Okay, well,” Connor started, “Why are you so determined to kill yourself?”

You choked on your drink. You began coughing and your throat burned. Your eyes watered and Connor placed a hand on your back.

His other hand took your drink from you, and his eyes filled with even more worry. 

After you cleared your lungs of the burning liquid, you quipped, “What an opener. Do you use that on all the ladies?”

“Only twice now.” You couldn’t tell if he was joking, but you took your drink from him and took a large gulp. 

He watched you with wide eyes and you cleared your throat. “Well, I—I wouldn’t say I want to kill myself. I just—I’ve formed a bit of a habit now, I don’t know that I could stop.”

Both of you knew that this wasn’t the full truth at all, but you weren’t drunk enough to go any deeper than that. 

Connor wisely left the issue alone and decided to change the topic. “Why do you hate the idea of having a soulmate so much?”

This you could answer, you’d been thinking about this for the majority of your life. “If you knew me fifteen years ago, I’d have a different answer, but—I just have been without one for so long that I had to convince myself that it wouldn’t be all that great.”

Connor appeared to be satisfied with this answer. He continued to ask you questions, none of them as serious as the first two. 

This was probably because of your growing drunkenness, you couldn’t take anything seriously. 

The two of you continued talking, mostly you giggling and Connor being amused at your antics. 

Finally, around four in the morning, you fell asleep. Hey, your sleep schedule was fucked, what could you say. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
Connor watched as you grew drunker and drunker. Finally, you collapsed from exhaustion, which he had been anticipating for the past hour. 

Amidst your drunken stupor, you snuggled against him, much closer than the last time. 

One of your legs was sprawled across his, and while one hand clung onto your empty glass, the other was wrapped around Connor’s torso. 

Connor peeled your fingers from your cup and did his best to pull a blanket over your body without stirring you. 

After assuring that you would sleep comfortably, he put himself in stasis mode. He didn’t quite feel exhaustion like humans, but dealing with a sick AND drink you had worn him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor is too wholesome for this world! Did I use drinking to get the reader to cuddle more? Maybe. 
> 
> I loved writing this chapter, I finally got to do fluff! Hallelujah, right?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, I’d adore any comments. Thank you for reading and don’t forget to wash your hands!


	10. In which the reader is hungover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter, I’m sorry but I’m swamped with school. I’ve decided to change my upload schedule, it’ll be in the end notes.

You felt like absolute horse shit. Why did you drink? What on earth made you think that being hungover and congested at the same time would be fun?

You expelled a groan from your body and sat up. The light coming in through the windows made you flinch, and you turned around to get away from its piercing brightness. 

Your sight landed on a sleeping(?) android. You jumped away a bit, trying to figure out why you had just been on top of him. 

Before you could come to any conclusions, Connor’s LED flashed yellow and blue. He looked around at his surroundings before landing on you. 

A smile formed on his lips at your disgruntled appearance. “Good morning!” That android was too chipper for someone at...eight in the morning. 

“No it’s not,” you replied, laying back down in a ball on the couch. This elicited a chuckle from Connor, followed by another groan from you. 

Connor stood up all too easily and headed to the kitchen. You heard the sound of a faucet and immediately noticed how parched you were. 

You shut your eyes until you found a cup and two Ibuprofen being placed in your hands. Without hesitation, you swallowed the tablets and drank the entire glass of water. 

Connor took the glass from you and handed you two other pills that you recognized as DayQuil. The little orange pills seemed to be mocking you. 

How had you forgotten to take cold medicine? Duh. Connor refilled the cup as you reprimanded yourself. 

After you had swallowed the pills and drained the cup dry, Connor silently put the glass in the sink. 

You could practically feel the bags weighing on your face. Your throat was still dry as you gave a raspy, “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Connor replied happily. His cheerfulness was almost exhausting to you.

You looked up at him with a mixture of misery and bitterness. With a voice full of contempt, you looked him right in the eyes and asked, “Why are you so happy?”

Connor laughed at the lack of emotion on your face, and answered, “I like being around you.”

You were taken aback. That was adorable. You weren’t quite sure how to respond, but Connor spoke up again before you could. “I wish I could stay longer, but I already told Fowler I would come in today. Will you be alright?”

If you were disappointed, you did your best not to show it. “I’ll be fine Connor, this isn’t the first time I’ve been sick.” You threw in an eye roll for good measure.

Connor’s face morphed into an expression of concern. “You insist that you don’t need help, but you hardly take care of yourself at all.”

“Why would you ask if I would be okay if you were just going to reprimand me?” You must’ve been feeling better, your snarkiness was returning.

He didn’t seem to mind, he just chuckled again and said, “I can’t explain it, my social updates tell me to do things I don’t always understand.”

“What, like lying to your soulmate to get close to her?” The moment you said it, you knew it was too harsh.

Luckily for you, Connor didn’t seem too bothered. He just sheepishly responded, “No, actually, I believe that was mostly my original programming. The social updates appeared to be dormant.” 

He looked somewhat uncomfortable answering, and he very humanly rubbed his neck and averted his eyes.

All you could muster as a response was, “Oh. Okay.”

Besides the sound of Connor tidying up and gathering his things, it was silent.

You decided you should probably say something, so you asked, “How long do you work for?” Connor looked up and his LED briefly flickered yellow.

It went back to blue before he replied, “Well, I’m supposed to work until 6:00, but Hank and I are supposed to be getting a new case today, which means it’ll probably be longer.”

You looked to your hands, suddenly fidgety. When you looked back at Connor, he was smirking. Before you could say anything, he said, “Would you like me to come back here when I’m finished with work?”

Your cheeks blushed furiously and your mouth opened, then closed again. Your brain finally figured out how to respond, and you said, “Yes please.”

That was not what you thought you would’ve said. If he had asked you that two days ago, the answer would’ve been very different. What happened? What made you so soft?

You had never depended on anyone. It was always you who provided, you who took care of your mental and physical health. Granted, you didn’t always do the best job, but you still did it.

Now, here you were, asking this android, who you detested not even a week ago, to stay with you.

You wanted him to come back. This closeness that you felt to him seemed right. You couldn’t fully explain it, but the desire to be around Connor was overwhelming.

As your thoughts raced and your blush only grew, Connor came over to the couch. He leaned down, and before you fully knew what was happening, he wrapped himself around you.

Your arms didn’t know what to do with themselves, but once you finally comprehended what exactly was going on, you hugged back. It was--nice? You didn’t typically hug people like this.

Sure, you hugged Gavin and Chris, but never had a hug made you feel this way. Connor’s heat enveloped you, drew you in. 

It was intoxicating, the way your body seemed to mesh with his. All too soon, he began to pull away. Your limbs felt loose and you could do nothing to keep him next to you.

It was probably for the best, you reminded yourself. Connor had somewhere to be and you needed to rest.

You looked at his face as he pulled away, suddenly realizing it’s closeness.

You noticed that his LED seemed to be ending a rotation of yellow and you wondered what it could be from.

With his close proximity, you could almost feel his artificial breath on your face. His voice was practically a whisper as he said, “I’ll see you after work, then.”

Finally, he pulled away. You mourned the distance that he put between you as he went to leave. You cleared your throat and replied, “Goodbye Connor.

He gave you a small but sincere smile before he closed and locked the door. 

The moment he was gone, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Fuck.

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
When you woke up, Connor instantly detected your lack of enthusiasm and general distaste for being awake. Although he knew it wasn’t a good idea to let you drink as much as you did while sick, he was glad he got to see you let loose a little.

He was a bit worried about you and he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to continue taking care of you, but when he got a call from Hank saying he was needed at the station, he knew he had to go.

When he told you he had to go, he resisted scanning your response. He did notice a hint of disappointment in your eyes, so he offered to come back. He could easily detect your blush at that, even without a scan.

His thirium pump fluttered when he saw your red face, and his confidence from the day before was lingering. He supposed that was what drove him to give you a goodbye hug.

He knew you were sick, so he did his best to be gentle. It was amazing, euphoric even. Being that close to you was indescribable and it was torturous to pull away.

As he left, he savored the way you were still blushing. He left your apartment building with a feeling in him that he couldn’t quite describe.

The simple word for it would be happy, but it was more complex than that. He mulled over his thoughts as he ordered a cab to his location.

Luckily for him, you lived in a fairly busy location. A cab was there in minutes and he headed to work.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When he arrived at the precinct, he walked in to see a very grumpy looking Hank. Connor went over to their shared desk area and asked, “Is everything alright lieutenant?”

Hank grumbled something about a hangover and Captain Fowler, but was interrupted with a bark from the said Captain’s office.

“Hank, Connor, get your asses in here!” Hank winced and Connor’s LED nearly flashed red. He didn’t want to make any assumptions, but he felt like today was going to be a long one.

Once the pair made it to Fowler’s office, they were greeted with a stern look. “Why is it that my star duo suddenly is now late and hungover? This is not what I expect of you, especially with a new case.”

Connor decided it would be best if he did the talking, considering Hank’s tendency to not react well when he was tired. “I apologize Captain, things have been slow lately and we weren’t expecting a new case. What can we do for you?”

Connor changed the conversation off of their mistakes and onto their job. This seemed to be appreciated by Fowler, as he continued on.

“Well for starters, do your damn jobs. I shouldn’t have to micromanage you like I do with Gavin.” Luckily, the Captain seemed more disappointed than upset. Connor intended to keep it that way.

He decided it would be best to discuss the new case, so he replied, “Understood. Do you have any news on the murder at CyberLife?”

“I do, the case has been assigned to you and everything you need to know is in your files. Now go do your damn jobs like I told you to.” Fowler’s interest was lost as he went back to his screen, dismissing the two.

Today really was going to be a long one.

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV   
After Connor left, you figured you should get up. You were already feeling better from the medicine he gave you. 

You felt grimy, so you headed to the shower. You got in without even setting up bandaids, not even thinking about it. 

You turned on the hot water and let it cascade over you with your eyes shut. 

When you opened them again, your eyes immediately went to the knife sitting on the shower shelf. 

It practically glared at you, trying to entice you to pick it up. 

You ignored it and grabbed your shampoo. You massaged it into your scalp, relishing the feeling of the attention on your head. 

Then you rinsed, sending the foamy bubbles down the drain. 

You effectively avoided the knife as you washed and conditioned the rest of you body. 

Before you got out, you gave it one long look. You sighed and shut off the water, reaching for a towel.

You wrapped the fluffy fabric around you and looked at yourself in the mirror. The scars on your arms were still fairly visible. 

Of course, you knew they wouldn’t just go away. They were still new too, so their pink color stood out against your skin. 

Oh well. It was cold, you could cover them for a while. You were mostly concerned about Connor. 

He seemed to have a great interest in your wellbeing. You didn’t exactly mind this, but having someone worry about you was stressful. 

You didn’t want to cause any problems for him, but you couldn’t just stop. 

It was part of your life now, something you depended on. Sure, the itch seemed to be gone at the moment, but it was going to be back. 

There was no denying that. But you could ignore it for now, keep it in the very back corner of your mind. 

Lucky for you, there was a distraction available. A chipper android who craved your love seemed like the best way to avoid your problems. 

Part of you was disgusted with yourself for thinking like that. You had promised yourself that you didn’t need anyone a long time ago. 

Yet here your were, thinking about someone who you despised just days ago. It was absurd, but you couldn’t explain it. 

Maybe if you never met him it would be easy, but he was intoxicating. His expressions, his scent, the way he held himself. 

You couldn’t get enough, and that scared you. You didn’t want to form another addiction, especially to something less reliable. 

That’s enough, you chided yourself. You really had to stop with the obsessive thoughts, it was problematic. 

You toweled off your hair before deciding that you were freezing and had to dry it. 

You pulled out your hair dryer from below the sink and plugged it it. You clicked it to the hottest setting and turned it on. 

You let the hot air blow away all your thoughts, and you ran your brush through your hair. 

It took you a little while to get it completely dry, and you left it down instead of putting it up again. 

You went to your room to get dressed, picking out another pair of sweatpants and a navy blue t-shirt.

Once you were satisfied with how you looked, you figured you should probably call in sick for the night.

You dialed the charge nurse and told her, “Hey, this is (y/n) (l/n), I need to call in sick again.”

“Of course, no worries. Feel better!” The charge nurse kept it brief, she sounded busy. You did not envy her job. 

Since you finished up doing everything that was necessary, you figured you could go back to your couch. 

You plopped yourself down amongst all the blankets that had accumulated. You grabbed a couple and wrapped them around you, you were a bit chilled from your shower. 

“TV on please,” you requested. An old movie turned on, one that you didn’t recognize. You figured that you could watch it, you didn’t have anything else in mind. 

You had just settled in when your stomach let out an angry growl. You groaned, and pulled yourself from your comfortable spot. 

You went to the kitchen and decided on pancakes. You didn’t have the energy to make it from scratch so you grabbed a bag of mix from the cupboard. 

You scooped out enough to feed at least two very large people and added the necessary amount of water. 

You grabbed a whisk from your vase and stirred it until it was smooth. You got out a large, square pan and a measuring cup to scoop the batter. 

You got the pan heated up and slathered it in butter. It sizzled upon contact so you grabbed your bowl of pancake batter. 

You scooped it using a quarter cup and fit four pancakes on the pan. They sizzled and formed bubbles on top right away, so you turned down the heat a little. 

You reached across your counter to grab a spatula and waited a few moments before flipping the pancakes. 

They were a little dark, but you didn’t mind. You did this over and over until all of your batter was gone. 

You took your massive plate of pancakes and brought them to the couch. Then you grabbed a bowl and filled it with syrup. 

Was it a childish way to eat pancakes? Absolutely. That’s why you were doing it. 

You settled back down on the couch, careful not to spill the syrup and create a terrible, sticky mess. 

As you watched the old movie, you dipped the pancakes in the syrup, enjoying the easiness of it. 

Before you knew it, there was only one left. You ate it without hesitation, feeling content and full. 

You didn’t want to think about what Connor would say to your consumption of calories. 

That’s exactly how he’d phrase it too, “calorie consumption.”

He drove you a little nuts with that, you didn’t want your health monitored like that. It was entertaining to tease him about it though, that was a plus. 

You dozed in and out, only half understanding the plot of the movie. You didn’t mind, your thoughts were focused on what a certain android might be doing. 

Around 1:30, your phone rang. You didn’t check caller ID before answering, so you were surprised when you heard Gavin’s voice. 

“Hey! Chris and I are on lunch break, where are you?”

You were taken aback, but you answered, “Actually Gav, I’m sick at home. If you dare risk catching a cold, you can come over.” 

Gavin laughed and said, “Do you still live in the same apartment?”

“Yeah, but you’re not actually coming over, I don’t want to get you sick,” you replied.

Gavin scoffed, “You don’t tell me what to do, we’re coming over.”

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door. You rolled your eyes and got up to open it. 

Standing there was Gavin and Chris, holding takeout. You just stared at them, exasperated. 

Chris smiled at your expression and chuckled, “Can we come in?”

“Ugh, fine,” you griped, swinging the door open wider. 

They walked in and settled in your kitchen. You were happy to find that you could smell the takeout when they opened it. 

You were still stuffed from the ungodly amount of pancakes you had eaten, and you told them as much. 

Gavin responded with, “Oh, yeah, this is just for us. Don’t worry about it!”

“Gavin!” Chris hit his arm in an attempt to reprimand him, but you just laughed. 

You realized the end credits of your movie were playing, so you said, “TV off please!”

Chris looked up from his food he was dishing out, saying, “I love how you say please, it’s funny.”

“Hey, androids already had a revolution, you don’t know what else could happen. I want to be on the right side.”

Gavin let out a loud laugh and you just grinned. You had missed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided I’m going to upload less, at least until I’ve finished up with school for the year.
> 
> The schedule will just be every other day, excluding Sunday. This means the next update will still be on Monday. I’ve also decided to put the update day in the fic summary.
> 
> Thanks for reading and for all the comments, they keep me going! Don’t forget to wash your hands!


	11. In which there is more fluff and you are confident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got off to a slow start with this one, I kept procrastinating and being a big baby. Also I binged a bunch of Bryan Dechart’s short films that I didn’t know existed. And I played Detroit: Become Human for the first time. It was a good weekend.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

You spent the rest of Chris and Gavin’s lunch break with them. Their presence distracted you from how sick you felt.

Not only that, but you really had missed them. Something about being around them brought you back to a time when you were more carefree.

You talked over the food they brought, and they had you laughing like you hadn’t in a very long time.

You even had time to pull out a couple board games since they weren’t in a rush. You started to play Monopoly, but it was quickly interrupted when the boys began pelting each other with the houses. 

When the time came for them to go back to work, they hugged you despite your protests. “Gavin! I don’t want to get you sick!” You laughed a little while saying this, but you were being serious.

“I’ll be fine, let me hug you,” Gavin said into the top of your head. He stayed there and wouldn’t move, even with Chris poking him in the back. 

You finally got him off of you by exclaiming, “I have to sneeze!” He let you go, just in time for you to let out a sneeze fit for a grown man. 

“Jesus, feel better. I liked it when I could hug you without fear.” 

Chris laughed at Gavin’s way of being nice. “Seriously, get some rest, drug up. Being sick sucks,” Chris said, much more sympathetic than Gavin. 

“Yeah yeah, I will. I don’t need three people on my ass at once,” you joked. 

Gavin looked confused, but you weren’t sure why until he said, “There’s only two of us, who’s the third?”

Realizing your mistake, your mind raced. Did you tell them about Connor? Maybe you could just give them half of the truth—you weren’t sure you wanted to tell people yet. 

You gave an almost-forced laugh and hesitated. They both looked at you expectantly. 

“I—don’t freak out—I have a soulmate.”  
You winced a little and their eyes widened. 

“WHAT THE FUCK,” Gavin practically shrieked. Chris elbowed him, although his mouth gaped open. 

You looked at them, wondering if you just made a mistake. After a few awkward moments of them letting the information sink in, Chris asked, “Why are you just now telling us this?”

Doing you best not to look guilty, you replied, “It’s actually a pretty new thing, I’ve only known him for a week.”

“Damn, so I guess you’re out of the club?” Gavin was joking, but you could tell he was a bit jealous. 

You tried to ignore the faint bite in his words, knowing it came from past trauma. “I guess so. It’s fairly unserious still, but he is coming over after work.”

“Oooh, how exciting,” Chris teased. “What’s his name?”

You cleared your throat, “Actually, you might know him.” You were a bit tentative, but the curiosity in their eyes pushed you to go on. 

“It’s Connor.” Realization dawned on their faces as Chris’ jaw dropped for the second time. 

Gavin looked incredulous, while simultaneously seeming quite excited. “Holy shit! Are you serious?”

You nodded wordlessly as their expressions both morphed into giddy smiles. “Huh. Who’da thunk,” Chris said thoughtfully. 

“As much as I’d love to tell you all the dirty details, you two need to get to work and I need to clean my apartment for my guest,” you told them. 

After another goodbye from each of them, you shut the door. A sigh found its way out of your chest, a mix of happiness and stress manifesting itself. 

You figured you should make good on your statement that you had to clean your apartment. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
CyberLife wasn’t exactly Connor’s favorite place, but he found himself there once again.

This time, he was questioning an employee. Blue blood covered the room and the spot where an android had lied dead moments before was especially dark. 

The employee, while upset about the death, didn’t seem too bothered by the questions, and they answered all of them without hesitation. 

Connor was scanning them all the while, they weren’t lying. Currently, the main lead in the case was that an employee of CyberLife was the murderer. 

They had managed to disable cameras, proving it to be an inside job and no visitors had entered the building that day. 

The victim, being a fellow employee, could have had a motive against him. Connor still hasn’t established what the motive could’ve been exactly. 

He and Hank went about the room, talking to any possible witnesses. He got in the zone, eliminating possible scenarios in his mind. 

After going around and observing every single piece of evidence, he reconstructed the situation. 

He concluded that the perpetrator was human, and stabbed the victim, without any prompting, with a tool used for attaching biocomponents to their necessary thirium transmitters. 

Then, they tried to clean up the evidence before realizing it was futile and fleeing the room. 

Connor went to Hank and told him this. His response was, “Jesus, this doesn’t sit well with me.” He looked around distastefully. 

“I agree lieutenant. Have you come up with any possible motives?” Connor, while on the analytical side, was always interested in hearing Hank’s opinion. 

Hank gave a hardly distinguishable sigh, and answered, “The attacker knew the victim, this whole thing was planned, obviously. I’m thinking it was a crime of passion.”

Connor’s LED spun yellow and he replied, “I agree. We’ll have to track down the attacker if we want to find out more.”

Hank nodded and the pair decided to go check CCTV in case any of the cameras had managed to be operational, despite the hacking. 

They got in the elevator together and rode down silently. They were both rather disturbed by the murder and didn’t feel like talking. 

A soft ding rang through the elevator as the doors opened to their floor. 

The pair got out and walked down a hallway to the room that an employee had directed them too. 

The room was massive, with several attendants buzzing about. It was fairly chaotic due to the recent hacking.

Connor followed Hank over to a woman who appeared to be in charge. She finished up talking to one of the attendants and turned to the duo. 

“Lieutenant Anderson. How can I help you?” The woman asked. She leaned back on a security console as Connor worked through why she might already know Hank. 

Recognition fluttered through Hank’s features, but he merely said, “We were wondering what footage you may have from the last two hours.”

Connor admired his professionalism, Hank wasn’t typically like this. 

“Unfortunately, we’ve checked and the entire floor the murder took place on was down,” she started. “There’s about twenty minutes of static, we’re still waiting to see if we can salvage any audio.”

Connor estimated that they wouldn’t have any footage, but the information on the audio caught his interest. 

“Do you have any idea how long that will take?” Connor sounded overly formal, as he typically did when he worked on any cases. 

She replied, “We’re working as fast as we can, but I doubt we’ll get anything until tomorrow. I advise that you leave.”

Hank nodded, giving her their contact information. “Thank you for your time, have a nice day.”

The duo left the tower and headed back to the station. The ride home was full of chatter about the case. 

Connor did his best to keep his focus, but he was finding it difficult. You kept popping into his processors.

He attempted to push you back into his non-computing files, but there you were again, worming your way into his main mind palace. 

It would be infuriating, if not for the feeling he felt whenever it happened. 

He couldn’t help but feel himself soften, he just wanted to be near you, to take care of you again. 

Knowing you were more open to the idea of him warmed his systems. He almost felt—giddy?

That was new. This new excitement felt amplified. It fed off of your drowsy laughter and huffs of exasperation. 

Ra9, he had it bad. He knew from the moment he found out that he had a soulmate, he wanted to meet you. 

He was devastated when he discovered how much you didn’t want him. He kept trying though. 

He wrote you little messages at least once a week, admired all the new scars on his skin from you, discovered a little tattoo on the back of your ankle. 

He came to know you, but not really. He only knew the bitter you, the one that responded harshly to his messages, who hurt herself unexplainably. 

Now that he actually knew you, he could easily say he was in love. 

He hadn’t ever felt it before, and it had snuck up on him. He scanned the internet for signs of love, trying to understand. 

He didn’t fully comprehend it until he saw you, wrapped up in your blanket, laying on him peacefully. 

In any other circumstance, this inner declaration of love might seem quick. Connor knew that, he wasn’t that naïve. 

But given the way he met you, how he had partially known you for so long? He could say to himself that he was feeling the beginning of budding love. 

It scared him. This new emotion, the one that took complete and utter control of his systems, it was terrifying. 

Connor had felt fear before, and this was no different. It was a combination of the fear of losing you, the fear that he couldn’t be what you needed. 

It was shattering, but inside his processors, he knew he had to stay with you. He had to do it to make sure you were okay, yes, but he also had to do it for himself. 

It was a bit selfish, but he understood somehow, if you were suddenly removed from his life, he wouldn’t know what to do. 

He’d keep on living, mostly for Hank, but he now needed you. He was addicted, drawn in by everything about you. 

His thoughts swarmed around his mind like angry hornets. He stewed silently as he and Hank walked into the precinct.

He sat at his desk and went over files. He had to push the thoughts of you away as he worked. 

This case was too important, and although Connor would love to think of you and only you as much as possible, there would be other times. 

Now, he had to help Hank. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Connor was drained. He knew he didn’t really have the capacity to feel physical fatigue, but he recognized his emotional exhaustion quite easily. 

Having a new case wore him out, he knew it shouldn’t, but maybe it had to do with the fact that CyberLife was involved. 

Whenever they were, his life seemed to prove more difficult. Just his luck. 

Of course he would get an overwhelming case right when all he wanted to focus on was you. 

It was absurd, how much his thoughts drifted. This never happened before you. 

He was always clean cut, analytical and focused on his task. Even after he deviated, his mind was a well organized computer. 

But now, it was time for the well organized computer to go home. 

Hank told him they could leave on time since they couldn’t make any real headway in the case without that audio. 

Connor would typically be upset about their lack of progress, but relief flooded his systems, surprising him. 

A flicker of happiness then popped into his system. It was time to see you!

It was only 6:45, and he wondered if you had eaten dinner yet. It couldn’t hurt to pick you something up though, right?

Connor settled on picking you up some more takeout, but he decided to get something more substantial than soup. 

He picked up takeout from Chicken Feed, following Hank’s advice. 

Speaking of Hank, Connor told him not to worry, he would take a taxi to your apartment. 

Although Hank would typically insist on helping (untrue), he was relieved at Connor’s willingness to take public transportation. 

The new case had affected him as well, he needed to go home and take a well-earned break. 

This left Connor alone, leaving the precinct in a taxi. He made sure to pick up your food before he typed in your address. 

He was glad you knew he was coming back, rather than showing up completely unannounced like last time. 

He waited impatiently, when finally the taxi pulled up to the apartment. He input his payment and stepped out. 

Last time he was here, he hadn’t really had time to admire the place. You must’ve worked hard, it was a fairly nice apartment. 

Connor was impressed, and he walked into the building without any trouble, yet again. His thirium pump swelled with pride for you and he clutched the fast food in his hand. 

He rode up the elevator to your floor and found himself back in front of your door. 

He was beginning to feel anxious again, although he knew he shouldn’t. Last time he knocked, everything went smoothly. 

But for some reason, his mind raced with thoughts about what could go wrong. He nearly thought about just leaving, when he heard a crash from inside your apartment. 

Connor panicked, but his programming and something else inside him told him he had to get to you. 

He knocked and when he heard no movement from inside, he backed up against the wall. He placed the food on the ground and braced himself. 

He rushed forward, easily busting the lock on the door. He would pay for that. 

He looked frantically around your apartment and found you on the kitchen floor cackling. 

Confusion filled his systems and he scanned you for any injuries. He detected contusions on your left shoulder and on your behind. 

He would’ve been more worried, if not for the fact you were practically rolling on the floor laughing. 

Your hysterics only intensified when you noticed Connor. “What happened?” Connor, although worried, let an exasperated tone seep into his voice. 

You gasped for air, and with much difficulty, replied, “I was getting a pot out for dinner, but it was too high and it fell and—“ You erupted with laughter once again. 

Connor rolled his eyes and bent down to get the pot. Your laughter died down as he got closer to you. 

Your face fluttered with a mischievous smirk, before you took advantage of his bent over form and pushed him. 

The shove was unexpected, and he fell onto the tiled floor with you. Your laughter once again filled the space as Connor tried his best to look stern. 

He didn’t succeed, seeing you so happy filled him with a warm feeling that he couldn’t ignore. 

He waited, watching you laugh. Once you finally calmed down, he bluntly said, “I broke your door.”

“What?” Confusion took over your features as you leaned around the counter. 

There, with a very visibly broken lock, was your wide open door. You looked back at Connor. 

Absolutely no remorse could be found as you looked at his face, and for some reason it cracked you up. 

You began laughing again and Connor gave you a light shove. He stood back up, offering you his hand. 

He tugged you off of the floor, steadying you as your laughter rendered you slightly unstable. 

Connor set the pot on the counter before heading back over to the door. He grabbed the takeout from the hallway and did his best to secure the door shut. 

He winced, “I’ll pay for that.” You just laughed, not really too concerned about it. 

“I doubt anyone wants to break into my apartment, there isn’t much in here.” You kept any wistful tone out of your voice and walked over to the table. 

Connor joined you and placed the takeout in front of you, “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a little of everything.”

He wasn’t lying, there was an absurd amount of food. It was way too much for you, but maybe you could have leftovers tomorrow. 

“Lucky you, I like everything.” His face brightened a little at that, and your stomach flipped, not unpleasantly.

You unpacked what you could eat, and the two of you talked. Not about anything important, just enough to fill any silence. 

When you had finished, Connor remarked, “It seems that your feeling better. It took you a few less days than average to recover.”

You winced at his analytical observation. “That’s good I guess. I’m going to have to go into work tomorrow night, I don’t have that many sick days.”

“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Connor frowned a little, obviously worried about you. 

It would’ve been cute if you didn’t hate hovering so much. “Connor. I’m fine.”

With that, the conversation was over. You felt a little bad about your harsh tone, but you couldn’t handle being coddled. 

The short amount of silence was unbearable. You broke the tension and asked, “Have you ever played Monopoly?”

Connor’s eyebrows raised a little, intrigued. “No, Hank has told me its a terrible game that isn’t worth playing.”

A chuckle escaped your lips. “He’s right. Do you wanna play?”

Connor nodded and you went to grab the box. It was already out from earlier today with Chris and Gavin. 

Connor took note of that, remembering it hadn’t been there before. Someone had been here earlier today. 

Did he want to know who? He knew you were friends with Chris and Gavin, but not much else. 

They had been gone at lunch, maybe they came here? He should probably leave it alone, he didn’t care enough to delve deeper into it. 

You set up the board on the carpet next to the TV. Connor watched you place the paper money in a plastic holder, unsure how to help. 

He could tell it was an old game, so he gave the box a quick scan to see what year it was made. 

He was surprised to see that it was from 2012. Considering your age, this must’ve been your family’s game. 

You explained the rules to him once everything was set up. When you told him he could choose which metal playing piece to use, he went straight for the dog. 

You chose the shoe, it had always been your favorite. 

The two of you played together. You had been fairly confident that you would win, you had always been good at this game. 

You had some luck at the beginning, the properties you first drew were all the best ones. 

Further into the game, however, you noticed yourself slipping. Connor managed to convince you to sell properties several times. 

Typically, you never caved when people tried to swindle you, but with Connor it was different. 

Something about the way he played was so confident and casual. More often than not, you found yourself paying attention to the little details of his mannerisms instead of your strategy. 

He would fidget with his fingers if he was unoccupied, or push the little curl of hair off of his forehead, only for it to fall back moments later. 

At one point you commented on it, to which he replied, “I suppose my creators thought I wouldn’t be bothered by things. When I first deviated it was all I could notice.”

You laughed at this and said, “Well, I think it’s a good look for you. Your designers certainly knew what they were doing.”

You admired the way he smiled at that, and if he blushed, that was just for you to know. 

The two of you played for just over two hours, but it became very obvious that Connor was going to win. 

You only had a quarter of the properties and he had a railroad monopoly. 

Although your stubbornness tried to prevail, you had to cave. “Alright, I give. You win.”

Your grumpy voice and disappointed posture made Connor smile. “Awww, I’m sorry. Are you upset that a super-computer beat you?”

You scoffed, “A little—but I was letting you win at the beginning!”

Connor smirked, obviously pleased with himself. “You know I can detect when you’re lying, right?”

Your mouth opened, ready for a smart remark, which your brain unfortunately couldn’t supply. 

When all Connor was met with was indignant silence, he went to stand up. “It’s okay, I’ll let you win next time.”

Next time. Your heart fluttered thinking of next time. Immediately, your sore-loser thoughts disappeared. 

He really was adorable. You tried to deny it, but ever since you ran into him at the precinct, something about him was so attractive to you. 

Ugh, these mushy thoughts were so unlike you. Connor was changing so much about you, it was crazy. 

You left the board on the ground, not in the mood to put it away. Sure, you’d regret it later, but you didn’t care. 

“Next time you won’t need to let me win, I’ll do it myself.” You knew you were lying to yourself, but you said it anyways. 

Connor just laughed, helping you up. He gave an oddly sharp tug. That momentum paired with your own pulled you just a little too close to him. 

But—you didn’t pull away? You didn’t want to. Your proximity to him didn’t fluster you like it did when he picked you up. 

It was actually very comfortable, what with the joking nature between you. You just looked up at him with a shit-eating grin. 

He looked a bit surprised, like he miscalculated your reaction. 

You noticed he had brushed back his tuft of hair, so you reached up. You used your pinky finger to guide it back down onto his forehead.

Connor obviously wasn’t expecting that, and his cheeks bloomed with a pale blue. You smiled even bigger before backing away and going into the kitchen. 

Connor stayed frozen in the living room. You liked this power, the ability to surprise him. 

You hadn’t ever really made someone blush, at least not from anything other than anger. It was nice, knowing you made him feel just as flustered as he did you. 

You began cleaning up your kitchen, throwing away the takeout boxes and wiping down the table. 

You were just about to turn around and rinse the rag when Connor came up behind you. 

He wrapped his arms around you and you froze, unsure of what to do. “H-hey Con. What’s up?”

He buried his face in your neck and you unconsciously leaned into him. “Thank you.”

Thank you? “For what?” You let your arms rest on him, trying to encourage him to stay where he was. He did. 

“For letting me in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is bit short, I’m very lazy and a lot happened this weekend. I’ve also decided I’m gonna upload once a week. I just don’t want to get burned out and resent writing, I want to have fun with this.
> 
> I’m sorry if I set your expectations high with uploading every day, but I’m trying to not be on my phone as much and just enjoy the good weather.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and all the comments. If I didn’t have them I doubt I’d have the encouragement to keep reading.
> 
> Also, should I put more effort into the story of Connor’s investigation? It was mostly just filler but if anyone’s interested I’ll do my best to make an actual plot there.
> 
> Thank you, and don’t forget to wash your hands!


	12. In which there is no fluff and Connor licks things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so happy to say my lovely friend just_a_goose_that_ships_drarry beta’d for me! I appreciate it so much and they were so very helpful, you should go check them out!
> 
> There’s a trigger warning for this chapter, for more self harm. If you aren’t into that, please don’t read.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy!

After Connor left for the night, you tried to go to bed. You laid awake for hours, just thinking about what he had said. 

“Thank you, for letting me in.”

You got chills remembering the way his artificial breath felt on your neck. A warm glow in your stomach still lingered. 

After countless hours of just tossing and turning, thinking about the android, you fell asleep. 

It wasn’t a good sleep, you woke up several times. Something just felt off. You were too cold, your blankets weren’t heavy enough. 

When the sun came up a few hours later, you figured you should stop pointlessly rolling on the cushions, attempting to get a few more moments of rest. 

You climbed out of bed, less achy and able to breathe properly. Thank God, you had to work later that night and going in sick would be hell. 

Padding into the kitchen, you went straight for your coffee pot and got it started. 

You clicked on some music that you didn’t bother to change. You weren’t familiar with the song, but you recognized the singer’s voice. 

You hummed aimlessly, doing your best to harmonize despite not knowing the song at all. You twirled around your kitchen, goofing off only for yourself. 

A small smile placed itself on your lips and you breathed a sigh of contentment when the coffee pot beeped. 

Opening up your cupboard, you selected a mug Gavin had painted you for your birthday. 

You remembered that day well. The three of you got together at their apartment, messing around with a children’s ceramic painting set. 

Each of you had a box with a rainbow of paints and a plain white mug. Chris had bought them as a joke but each of you legitimately had a fun time. 

You painted Chris’s mug, he painted Gavin’s, and Gavin gave you his. 

Chris had painted Gavin a blue cat with bright pink heart eyes. On the other side however, was a very poorly made middle finger. 

You had painted Chris balloons with various cuss words floating around with them. He adored it and had it on his desk when you went to work with them. 

Gavin surprised the both of you when the mug he painted had a gorgeous marigold on it. You had no idea he was so talented. 

The flower was a bright mix of oranges and yellows, blending into each other perfectly. It was so beautiful you almost missed what was on the other side. 

Gavin took the liberty of scrawling out a penis that happened to be the same green and the flower’s stem. 

Of course. He couldn’t go twenty minutes without being immature. 

You loved the mug regardless, it was always near the front of your cabinet. Gavin always gave a huge smile whenever you used it, which only made the obscene mug better. 

You grabbed the mug, chuckling at the designs, and poured your coffee in. Not bothering with milk or sugar, you downed it plain. 

It scalded the roof of your mouth and burned your throat on the way down, but you were just glad you could taste and smell it. 

After you finished up your coffee, you figured a shower would wake you up. In the bathroom, you looked at your box of bandaids on the counter. 

You glared at them, refusing to touch them. You took a fast shower, not bothering to adjust the temperature to a higher heat. 

You got into actual clothes, slipping on jeans and a sweater. You wanted to wear your sweaters as much as possible since winter was almost over. 

As much as you hated cold weather, sweaters were always your favorite thing to wear. The way they covered everything, providing warmth and comfort, they just gave you a good feeling. 

Once you were dressed, you figured you’d be productive. You went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. You had already bought everything you needed, so you pulled it all out. 

Meal planning was something you had done for a long time. You would cook a ton once a week and pack it all away so you didn’t have to put in any effort the rest of the week. 

Since you had been doing it for so long, you had gotten pretty good at it. You had Tupperware with dividers so everything was organized and perfect. 

The process was soothing and brought you a satisfying ease. You started boiling some water. This week you decided to make rice, you had noodles last week and wanted something new. 

On the counter sat dry rice, chicken breasts, and three heads of broccoli. Two bottles, one with a spicy chili sauce, the other with sesame oil, sat on the counter as well.

The chili sauce was well used, only a small amount of the bright orange, gelatinous substance remained at the bottom. 

The same could not be said for the sesame oil, you had only used it once before, despite loving the flavor. You just never had any recipes that would use it, but you were excited to break it out again.

You grabbed a large glass bowl and put a little of both the sauces in. You pulled some spices from the cabinet above you and eyeballed the amount you wanted to put incorporate.

You stirred it all together with a whisk before grabbing the chicken. You laid it in the sauce before covering it with a plastic lid made for the bowl, which you put back in the fridge. 

You grabbed another pot and filled it with water, beginning to boil it as well. The other pot was steaming so you took off the lid and poured rice into the bubbling water. 

You put the lid back on and turned down the heat just a little. Then you set a timer for twenty minutes. 

You turned and grabbed a cutting board from a drawer and set the broccoli on it. 

You cut away the flowering part from the stalk. Then, you took the stalk and cut off the outside part. You sliced it thinly into half-inch strips, making use of almost the entire head. 

You did this with each on before going to the second pot. You scooped the broccoli up and carefully plopped it all into the water before placing the lid back on. 

You leaned back on the counter and waited, going on your phone. After mindlessly scrolling for a few minutes, the timer went off. 

You grabbed a big spoon and lifted the lid off of the pot. A plume of heavenly smelling steam wafted onto your face. 

The rice had fully absorbed the water so you gave it a stir to break up any clumps.

You took out all of your bins and laid them out on the counter. They had three sectioned off spaces, one big one and two little ones.

You divvied up the rice into the big sections in each of the the seven containers. 

By the time you were finished, you checked on the broccoli. The typically dull color had brightened up to a brighter, more vibrant green. Knowing that meant it was probably done, you grabbed a piece to check. It was cooked to a softer texture, much easier and more pleasant to eat. 

Perfect. You scooped the broccoli into the smaller sections of the tupperwares, then placed the lids on them. 

You glanced at the counter, seeing the container that the chicken came in. Knowing you should recycle it, you huffed in disgust. 

Tentatively picking up the glistening plastic, you moved to the sink. Your nose wrinkled at the slimy film, and you turned on the hot water. 

The spray hit the plastic and you let it sit there for a few moments, before grabbing some dish soap. After a small amount had been drizzled on, you used a scrubber to ease off any more of the disgusting chicken residue. 

Rinsing off all the bubbles, you put the plastic on your drying rack. You would put it in the recycling once it was dry. 

Now that you had gotten rid of that mess, you still had to wait for the chicken to absorb the marinade. You sighed, not knowing what to do. “TV on, please,” you called out. The news flickered on and something was said that caught your attention. 

“A recent murder at CyberLife has police puzzled. The murder of an android employee was a great shock, and now people are even more baffled at a second homicide.”

You weren’t surprised that androids were still being murdered. What did surprise you was that they both happened at CyberLife. 

You would think their security would be top notch, how had two murders managed to happen? It was bizarre. 

You tried to clear your mind of murders, changing the channel to a cooking show. 

A chipper android introduced himself as Ralph. He had funny mannerisms and a peculiar tattoo on the side of his face that intrigued you.

You could tell he genuinely enjoyed cooking. He was joined by a human named Dave, who knew nothing about food. 

It was ironic, the one who couldn’t eat was the one who knew the most about food. Ralph joked around with Dave, who seemed enraptured. 

In your mind, you imagined them together, soulmates. You knew there was no way since Dave didn’t share the tattoo Ralph sported on his face, but it was a nice thought. 

Aside from your matchmaking thoughts, the show was actually very interesting. Ralph explained the benefits of doing dry rubs, how to make salad dressing with nutritional value, and a killer cake made for androids. 

The cake was electric blue, down to the icing. It was fascinating how it worked, the entire cake was thirium. 

Ralph explained that the cake wouldn’t provide any thirium intake, however it was safe for androids to consume.

It wouldn’t clog or destroy any systems, but expecting an android to run on it would be foolish. 

It was interesting seeing thirium made into multiple different forms, while still managing to remain pure thirium. You wondered how one figured out how to do that. 

You barely managed to make your own food, so you figured worrying about thirium food was unnecessary. 

When Dave was given some of the thirium cake, he spat it out in disgust. You chuckled a little at that, as did Ralph. 

Good to know, thirium did not taste good to humans. You could only hope androids couldn’t taste it, that would be terrible. 

Best case scenario, they enjoyed it, but that would only be possible if they had installed taste receptors. Not all androids had, it was an expensive and unpleasant procedure. 

The show wrapped up and you took note of what it was called. You wanted to watch more later. 

You figured your chicken had been sitting long enough, so you went back to the kitchen. 

Pulling out a grill pan, you set it on the stove and got it heating. You opened the refrigerator and grabbed the bowl with the chicken. 

Placing the bowl on the counter, you ran your hand under the sink. You let the water from your hand drip onto the pan, and it sizzled. 

Since this meant it was hot enough, you uncovered the chicken and used tongs to put each piece on the grill pan. 

They hissed on contact and a minuscule drop of the marinade crackled off of the pan. It landed on your hand. “Shit!”

Dammit, that hurt. You rubbed at the burn, but deemed it small enough not to run it under water. 

Scoffing at yourself, you went back to the chicken. After a few minutes, you flipped the pieces. 

The sugar in the sauce caramelized beautifully, leaving dark lines seared into the chicken from the pan. 

Once you flipped it, the chicken sizzled with renewed vigor. Luckily, no stray sauce decided to attack you this time.

After a bit more time, you decided the chicken was fully cooked. You turned off the heat and pulled out a plastic cutting board. 

Slipping the chicken directly onto it, you grabbed a large knife. You cut the chicken into thick slices and turned back to the fridge. 

You pulled out your tupperwares with the broccoli and rice, bringing them over to the counter. You scooped the chicken into the bins with your knife, evenly dividing it. 

Then, you took the marinade and poured it into a small saucepan. You stirred it as you waited for it to heat up. 

When it reached a boil, you turned off the heat again. You used the same spoon you had used for stirring to scoop the sauce and drizzle it over the chicken.

Once you were satisfied with the distribution of sauce, you pressed on the lids and put the bins into the fridge for the last time. 

You sighed and looked over your kitchen. You really didn’t want to do dishes, but you knew you should probably do it now rather than after work. 

Grumbling to yourself, you rolled up your sleeves and put the stop in the drain. You set the various pots you had used into the sink, bending down to the cabinet under the sink to grab the dish soap. 

You squirted a small amount into the sink and turned on the scalding water. You got to scrubbing as soon as there was enough water, wanting to get this over with.

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
Connor and Hank showed up together at the new crime scene. Once again finding himself at CyberLife, Connor let out an unnecessary sigh. 

The android laying on the floor in a pool of her own blood had limbs bent out at gruesome angles. Hank grimaced, the smell of thirium sitting heavy in the air. 

Connor analyzed the scene, taking in the murder weapon in her head, what angle her body fell at, and the way the blood spattered. 

Perhaps it wasn’t necessary for him to analyze the thirium, as it was fairly obvious who it came from, but Connor did anyway. 

If he took pleasure in the grimace it brought to Hank’s face, who could tell. Smirking a little, Connor placed his now-blue fingers to his lips. 

His LED flickered yellow for the briefest moment as the blue blood was registered to his systems. As he already knew, it came from Emerlee Hansen. 

After confirming this, he went about the crime scene, listening to the information Hank was getting from another android employee. 

“I was on the way to this sector since we got another alert saying the visuals were down. We had audio the whole time of her screaming for help, but the audio’s corrupted now and we can’t recover it.”

Hank nodded, recording every bit of information. “Did you see anyone on the way here?” 

“Not a soul, except another guard who had been sent from another area. He’s in the security room where I was if you need him.”

Thanking him, Hank dismissed the unhelpful guard. “Alright wonder boy, what happened?” Connor was just finishing up his reconstruction as Hank turned to him. 

“Exactly what it looks like. The attacker grabbed this wire clipper and shoved it into the victim’s head.” Connor winced a bit as he said this. 

Hank exhaled shakily, “Any other trauma? We know she struggled, but what led up to the wire clippers?”

“The victim saw the attacker and tried to fight them off with something, the marks on her hand prove that. I just don’t know what it was because it’s gone, although I’m almost positive it wasn’t a tool as no others are missing from the register,” Connor replied.

“So the attacker took it?” Hank didn’t seem too surprised, his deadpan voice gave away nothing. 

Connor nodded in affirmation. “Whether it was an afterthought of because they had to, I don’t know. I believe it was stuck in their body, but there’s no blood to prove it.”

A grunt of frustration came from Hank, followed by, “Is that all?”

“That’s all we can find here. I’m almost positive the two cases are related. The missing visuals, android murders, the corrupted audio, it all matches up. Plus both attackers used a weapon from the scene to commit the murder.” Connor sounded extremely frustrated, but he didn’t care. 

Hank’s eyebrows raised. “The absolutely are related, we just have to find out how. What do we know about the victims?”

“They have almost no similarities besides being androids. This one was a low level worker, the other was a visiting businessman. I don’t know how they could be related,” Connor huffed. 

Hank sighed and rubbed his temples, “Let’s go back to the precinct and go over evidence and the victim’s files. See if we can come up with anything.”

Connor agreed and the two headed out of the ominous building. Once they got to the car, Hank cussed. “Goddammit!”

“What’s wrong lieutenant?” Connor let a fraction of worry seep into his voice, but waited for Hank to explain before he jumped to conclusions.

Hank grumbled, but Connor heard him regardless. “I left my fuckin’ keys in the lab. Let’s go get them.”

“That’s all?” Connor chuckled, amused at the lieutenant’s vulgarity over such a small thing. “I’ll go get them, you stay here.”

Connor went back into the building and on the way up the elevator, he had a thought. 

The attacker obviously knew the building well, and the attacks were planned. What could the victims have done to elicit a murder?

He set a brisk walk to the lab, but his mind was racing even faster. The businessman could most likely cause more problems than the low-level employee, but they both had the potential to pose a threat. 

Connor opened up the file on the second victim. She had graduated with a Major in Chemical Engineering. She was smart, and a recent article mentioned her name.

She had posed an idea about biocomponents that had many sources interested. She proposed that CyberLife lower the prices of important biocomponents that many androids had trouble obtaining. 

She gave a way to make this possible by using a new type of plastic, made primarily from recycled materials. CyberLife hadn’t issued a response yet, but many news stations had talked about it.

Connor scanned for Hank’s keys. and snatched them up, not wanting to be in the building a moment longer. He hurried out at fast as he could, back into the elevator, synapses firing rapidly. 

Okay, so she had made some large claims. How could any of this make her a target?

Stepping out of the elevator, Connor hurried as fast as he could to Hank. Maybe he’d have something to say on the matter. 

Hank was still waiting, leaning on his car. Connor jangled the keys as he walked up, causing Hank to roll his eyes. 

Once the car was started and they were driving away from the unfriendly tower, Connor spoke up. “I’ve been thinking more about the case,” he started. 

“Oh? What have you come up with?” Hank looked intrigued, but kept his eyes on the road.

Connor began, “I found information on the second victim. She recently proposed a way to make biocomponents cheaper to replace and repair. It gained a lot of attraction but CyberLife never full acknowledged it.”

Hank’s eyebrows raised at that, catching on. “So you think that made her a target?” Connor nodded, appreciating how quickly Hank understood.

“I believe she gained some unwanted attention from someone who didn’t welcome her idea so much.” Connor continued, “I just don’t know how it ties into the murder of the first victim.”

Hank nodded thoughtfully, humming slightly. “We can give CyberLife a call tomorrow, see if they know why he was there. For today, let’s just go back and update the file. We’ve done plenty.”

“Fantastic idea,” Connor agreed. He was mentally exhausted by this case, anything that had to do with CyberLife wore him out. 

Despite having changed their company from manufacturing androids to maintaining and improving the lives of existing androids, CyberLife still gave him a bad feeling. 

He would just have to get over it. This case was too important to let his feelings get in the way. He knew this thought process wasn’t exactly healthy, but he wasn’t going to do anything about it. 

His mental health was the last of his priorities, he would get past it. He always did. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
Work was shitty. There were two moms who were so demanding, it wore you out. 

You didn’t want to complain about your job, but the mothers after the birth were the worst part. Everything else was perfect, you really did love it.

Once you stepped inside, you fell onto your couch and laid face-down into the cushions. You drifted in and out of sleep, and at some point you had a dream. 

You couldn’t remember all the details, but you could distinctly pinpoint Connor. It was like last time he was here, except you were at a park.

He hugged you, touched you. He was warm and it was wonderful. You were happy. You woke up to your phone buzzing, it was Chris. 

You sat up, grunting, before you answered. “Hey, what’s up?” Did you sound a little angry? Maybe. 

“Hello-ello! How are ya?” Chris’s happy voice rang out and you forgot he was a morning person. 

You were still annoyed, but his cheerfulness was contagious. “I’m tired, I just got back from work a little while ago.”

“Ahhhh I’m sorry. Does that mean you wouldn’t want to come to lunch with me and Gavin?” Chris’s voice sounded slightly disappointed. 

You perked up at the offer to go to lunch. “Actually, I’d love too. Just make sure wherever we go has coffee.”

“Why, I wouldn’t dream of dragging you somewhere that wouldn’t provide caffeine. Does 1:30 work?” Chris returned to his usual happy state.

“1:30 is perfect.” You still had a couple hours, so you set an alarm for 12:00 and fell back asleep.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When your alarm interrupted another dream-filled sleep, you were slightly disappointed. 

That resentment evaporated when you remembered why you had set it in the first place. You climbed off the couch and headed to the shower. 

You saw the bandaids on the counter and ran your fingers delicately over the healing marks from weeks ago. It had been a while. 

Somehow, seeing the bandaids brought on the itch, full force. You outwardly winced, and thought to yourself, “Just one. Just one cut, that’s all.”

One cut was better than the three that you typically went for, so you figured it couldn’t hurt you that badly. You stepped into the shower and turned the water to the highest heat. 

It was way too hot, and you stepped away from the downpour of burning water. You adjusted it to a slightly more bearable heat and leaned back under the still-scorching shower.

You let your hair become saturated with water before adding shampoo. Then, you rinsed the suds away. Next was conditioner. 

You ran it through your hair as fast as you could, trying to get to the main event. You let the slick conditioner sit while you washed your body with a grapefruit scented shower gel. 

You rinsed out your hair, simultaneously washing away the grapefruit bubbles. Once it was all out, you reached for your knife. 

You set the blade on top of one of the nearly-healed scars. Pressing ever so slightly, the skin broke. Red trailed down your arm and off of your elbow, racing towards the drain. 

You rinsed the knife and set it back in its spot, before doing the same with your bloodied arm and turned off the water.

You grabbed a towel and wrapped it around your hair. Blood flowed from your arm so you grabbed the bandaids and put them on while you were still in the shower. 

The whole ordeal was more frantic than you would’ve liked, but the job was done. You reached for your second towel and tightly bundled yourself. 

You pattered across the carpet, into your room. “What’s the weather like today?” You called out. 

“The current temperature is 54° Fahrenheit. The low for today is 48°, with the high being 56°.” The generic voice replied, seeming happy to help. 

“Thank you.” You were glad it was warming up, but it still wasn’t quite time to break out your summer clothes. 

Instead, you grabbed for a black and white striped shirt and black jeans. Once you put those on, you grabbed a denim jacket. It was a bit big on you, but that was okay. 

You decided to break up some of the plainness of the outfit with a gold bar necklace, a matching bracelet, and a silver band ring. 

Once you were satisfied, you slipped on some brown suede Chelsea boots. You looked at yourself in the mirror and fluffed your hair a bit. 

After a bit of thought, you decided you should dry it since it was cold outside. You picked up your towels and went back into the bathroom. 

You hung the towels up, then reached under the sink to grab your dryer. The warm air was nice, and you liked the nice, fluffy texture it gave your hair. 

Once it was all dry, you turned it off and put it back. Then, you shot Chris a text. 

You - Hey, should I meet you guys at the precinct?

Chris responded almost right away. 

Chris - Sure! I’ll grant you access to the bullpen, you can come on back when you get here.

You - Lovely, I’ll see ya then!

You smiled and grabbed your purse. You headed out the door, forgetting about the cut on your arm. 

And forgetting about the attentive android who would see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have any idea where this is going? Hardly. But I’m gonna keep writing! 
> 
> As always, I would adore some sweet, sweet comments, they make my day every time.
> 
> Thank you for reading and don’t forget to wash your hands!
> 
> Next update: May 25th


	13. In which things go downhill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, I apologize. Luckily, I’m done with school for the summer and I’m planning a longer chapter next week. Enjoy!

You arrived at the precinct after an unusually pleasant bus ride. An older woman was sitting next to you and she ended up showing you pictures of her cat.

It was adorable and it put you in an especially good mood. This is why when you stepped into the precinct, you had a smile on your face.

A kind looking woman was at the front desk. You walked right up to her, as there was no line, and said, “Hello, I believe I have authorization to go into the bullpen.”

Smiling, she replied, “Fantastic, can I just have you scan any form of ID right here?” You nodded and set your ID under the small light she had indicated to. 

The device that the light was coming from beeped and the woman concluded, “Alright, you’re all set. Have a nice day!”

“Thank you, you too.” You pushed through the panels that closed of the bullpen. You walked into the familiar area full of desks. 

Taking a beeline to Chris and Gavin’s shared desk space, you spotting them right away. 

Chris was on his terminal, he appeared to be looking over something, probably finishing up work. 

Gavin, however, was working less diligently. His legs were crossed over each other and he was looking at his phone, just scrolling. 

You weren’t surprised. As good as a detective that Gavin was, he often did the absolute bare minimum when he didn’t care about something. 

This made you roll your eyes affectionately. You strolled over to them and Gavin looked up from his phone. 

His face lit up and he stood to greet you. “Hi Gav-“ you tried to say. Your hello was interrupted by a giant hug, but you weren’t mad. 

Laughing, you squeezed him back. “Good to see you too.” You glanced over to Chris for help, but he was still immersed in his computer. 

You huffed at this and Gavin put you down. “He’s been like that all day, we just got a new case that’s been kicking our asses.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry. Can I know what it’s about? Or is that confidential?” You grimaced, but you were curious. 

So much went on in Detroit, but you never really had a chance to see it all. You were lucky in that aspect, not everything was sunshine and rainbows all the time. 

Gavin’s eyebrows furrowed and he smiled regretfully. “It is mostly confidential, sorry. I can tell you that it has to do with an underground drug trafficking system.”

“Ooh, red ice I’m assuming?” Gavin mimed zipping his lips shut, but he nodded. 

“Gavin!” Chris’s voice snapped, “Confidentiality, you moron!”

Gavin only laughed at this. “What, you think she’s gonna go hollering to the entire city about a red ice problem? I’m pretty sure everyone knows already.”

Chris rolled his eyes dramatically, making you laugh again. Suddenly, you were interrupted by a voice barking, “Reed, Miller, I have news on your case. Come get it before your lunch break.”

Gavin rubbed his hands together and waggled his eyebrows. “We’ll be back shortly. Are you okay sitting here for a few minutes?”

“Of course. Go be detectives.” You appreciated his concern, but sitting alone and keeping yourself occupied was one of your major skill-sets. 

The boys left for the glass office and you pulled out your phone. You had barely unlocked it when you heard a throat clearing behind you. 

Your head whipped around and your sight landed on Connor. 

Connor?

Oh right.

He worked here. 

Typically you would be excited to see a familiar face, but Connor seemed upset. His eyebrows were furrowed, with his lips pulled into a tight frown. 

Concern washed over your features. “Hey Connor—is everything alright?” You really hoped it wasn’t a big deal, you weren’t in the mood to handle a major catastrophe. 

Connor didn’t answer; he just lifted his arm to reveal a rolled up sleeve. There, on his perfect skin, lay some very familiar scars. 

Nestled among this scars was a thin, red line. Shit.

You bottom lip found it’s way in between your teeth, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Why did you feel guilty?

Soulmates couldn’t feel any pain that marks inflicted, the cut wouldn’t hurt him. Although you knew that cutting yourself was wrong, you hadn’t ever really felt true remorse.

That said, something in his melancholy, brown eyes stirred a feeling in you. A feeling you didn’t quite like. 

Your mouth opened, but no sound came out so you shut it again. 

Finally, after what felt like an hour but was probably only thirty seconds, Connor broke the awkward silence. 

“Why?”

His voice cracked a little at this one word and it broke your heart. You knew he was aware that you hurt yourself, he had responded to the marks before.

But something about seeing how it affected him in person, how he was so sad for you—it was different. 

You could tell the way he looked at you was different from other people. When people found out, they either looked at you with pity—ugh—or disgust. 

Connor’s gaze held neither of those things. Something that looked like genuine fear mixed with utter devotion swirled around his eyes. 

It—it hurt? Seeing him caring that much hurt. You couldn’t explain why, but you felt physical pain. It made you feel sick. 

You voice was hardly a whisper as you replied, “I—I don’t know. I have to. I’m sorry.”

Connor’s frown deepened and his hands fidgeted, he seemed unsure of what to do now. He glanced down at your arm, but any trace of the cut was covered. 

The way he looked at your wrist made you feel indignant. You turned the inside of your forearm away from him and held it behind you.

You didn’t need his sympathy, his help. You were fine, you managed everything yourself. 

That’s just how you did it. So when Connor reached his hand to touch the one of yours that wasn’t behind your back, you flinched away.

“Stop.” Your dry, harsh tone snapped Connor’s eyes away from your hand and back to your own indignant gaze. “Connor—just... don’t. Please.”

Connor looked devastated. He was obviously torn between listening to what you told him to do and reaching for you regardless of what you may say. 

Hurt pooled in his eyes and a pit formed in your stomach. Shit. You didn’t want to make him sad. 

You wanted to make him feel better, but you didn’t know how. You didn’t know how to tell him you were okay and that everything was normal, because it so obviously wasn’t. 

Normal people didn’t have knives in the shower. Normal people didn’t have a desire to hurt themselves in order to feel better. Normal people didn’t have a constant inner turmoil inside themselves.

“I—Connor I can’t talk about this right now.” You swallowed, choking on your words. “Please—just—leave me alone.”

His already-yellow LED spun faster, and you thought you saw a brief, almost undetectable flash of red. 

Body stiffening, he nodded. He turned, his forlorn eyes not leaving your almost-teary ones until they absolutely had to. 

Tension racked your body. You noticed your fists were clenched and your shoulders were stiff, held higher than you would typically like. 

They stayed this way until Connor was sat down at his desk. He didn’t look your way, not once. 

You supposed you should be grateful. His piercing gaze was the last thing you needed. 

Turning away from Connor, you sat down in Chris’s chair and pulled out your phone. You distracted yourself with a clicker game until Chris and Gavin came back from the glass office. 

Gavin saw you and his eyebrows instantly furrowed. “Are you alright?”

Good God, if only he knew. “Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just hungry, let’s get going to lunch.”

Way to play it cool. That was so not-suspicious. You could tell the boys didn’t buy your half-assed excuse, but you were relieved that they didn’t push the issue. 

Chris broke through any lingering pressure in the air, and spoke up, “A friend of mine told me about this cool soup and salad place not far from here, does that sound good?”

Happy to leave behind your previous conversation, you nodded. You only hoped that lunch would prove to be a good distraction. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
Connor didn’t notice you right away. He was going through the first victim’s file since he and Hank were going back to CyberLife to learn more about him. 

He was so immersed in his work that he only looked up when he heard Chris and Gavin called into Fowler’s office.

He used that interruption of the unusual silence in the bullpen to look up and take a break. 

Looking at Hank, he found the man was also looking through files for their case. That was a relief, he was actually doing his job without being pestered to in the first place.

His eyes roamed the area, picking up on the slightest details. Tina was listening to music, Gavin had left half a pastry on his desk that had been there yesterday. 

Nothing was too out of the ordinary, it was a normal day at the office. Everyone had been especially calm, but Connor wasn’t complaining.

What was out of the ordinary was that he saw you. 

The sight of you brought up the very recent memory of a thin slice on his arm. 

The angry red line was alerted to him since his processors couldn’t differentiate between soulmarks and actual wounds on his own body. 

He scrunched up his sleeve and exposed the mark. He took note that there was only one this time, rather than three. 

He supposed that was a good thing, but he couldn’t help but feel stressed about the cut. 

Of course you were doing it on purpose. He didn’t understand, what could drive you to hurt yourself. 

His systems scanned the internet for self harm, and after reading a few articles he only felt even further saddened. 

This lingering distress sat heavily in his systems all morning, so when he saw you fidgeting on your phone at Gavin’s desk, it opened that mental wound anew. 

A pang shot through his thirium pump and he nearly flinched at the feeling. He hadn’t ever felt anything like that before. It was—different, in the most unpleasant way. 

He wasn’t sure what to do about the ache in his artificial heart, but his processors came to the conclusion that walking over to you was the best option. 

Numbly and almost shakily, he stood to go to Gavin’s desk. Not at all confident in what he was about to do, he cleared his throat.

Your head whipped around and you looked briefly confused. After a split second of disorientation, recognition flowed across your features. 

Connor’s afflicted expression evidently caught you off guard and his tension appeared to rub off on you.

He scanned your expression, noticing your furrowed eyebrows and bewildered frown. 

“Hey Connor—is everything alright?” He detected the worry and concern in your voice, which only provided more worry to his systems. 

He felt like he was being choked. There was no way he could talk, his vocal component must’ve been malfunctioning. That was the only explanation Connor could fathom. 

Instead, he opted for just showing you. No explanation was needed since you obviously knew about the wound on your arm. 

He pulled back his sleeve to reveal the almost dainty line cutting into his skin. 

Your face fell and Connor was fairly certain you blanched, at least a little. He also noticed your bottom lip was pulled into your mouth, being distressed by your teeth. 

Visibly guilt washed over your face. It made Connor feel no better, why had he thought that this was a good idea?

You clearly didn’t enjoy bringing it up, but—he had to know. He had to understand why you did this. If anything, so he could help. 

Not that he would know what to do, but seeing you in any sort of pain, emotional or physical, filled his systems with an unbearably cold and heavy feeling. 

He could tell you were trying to say something, but nothing came. Connor waited for an excruciating thirty-four seconds before he broke the silence himself. 

“Why?” Not knowing what else to say, he spoke the only comprehensible thought on his mind. His voice component must’ve really been struggling, because the word broke on the way out. 

Somehow, you managed to look even more distraught. Connor was monitoring your stress levels, which were slowly climbing. You seemed to be on the threshold of tears. 

No tears came, and he watched at you steeled yourself before speaking. Your voice was hardly a whisper as you replied, “I—I don’t know. I have to. I’m sorry.”

Connor’s frown deepened, cutting into his usually stoic, boyish features. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, he hadn’t really had a plan when he had approached you moments ago. 

He fidgeted and reached for the coin in his pocket, but it wasn’t there. Dammit, he had left it at his desk. This was not the time, why was he so discombobulated today? 

With nothing else to do, he glanced at the spot on your arm where he knew the cut to be. 

This made you turn the inside of your forearm away from him. Your stress levels spiked and you held your arm behind you. 

Connor was desperate. He couldn’t just let you hurt like this without comforting you. He reached his hand to hold the one of yours that wasn’t behind your back, but you flinched away.

“Stop.” That was a mistake. Wrong move. How could the super computer inside of him repeatedly miscalculate like this? It was almost infuriating. “Connor—just... don’t. Please.”

Connor felt devastated, he was torn between listening to what you told him to do and reaching for you regardless of what you may say. 

Somehow, your face managed to look even more dismayed. Connor could tell some sort of inner battle was raging in your mind, but he could do absolutely nothing to help. 

Finally, you continued, “I—Connor I can’t talk about this right now.” You choked on your words, but pushed on. “Please—just—leave me alone.”

Mission failed. 

The ever familiar alert popped up in Connor’s vision. It had been a while since he had seen the upsetting signal. 

His body stiffened, and he nodded. There was nothing more he could do to salvage this interaction. He turned, his forlorn eyes not leaving your almost-teary ones until they absolutely had to. 

He marched back to his desk, defeated. He couldn’t bring himself to look at you, he was worried to see whatever expression that was now on your face. 

He pretended to go back to work, but was unable to focus on anything but you. His enhanced hearing picked up on your conversation with Chris and Gavin. 

Gavin spoke first, asking if you were alright. Connor wanted to scream. He wanted to shout that no, you weren’t alright, but he had no idea how to fix that. 

He wished so badly that you were alright, but he couldn’t do anything right now. 

The lie in your voice was easily detectable when you replied, “Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just hungry, let’s get going to lunch.”

Connor listened in until the three of your were out of earshot. He didn’t know what to do. That conversation was...awful to say the least. 

He was legitimately worried about how he was going to do damage control from that. 

Would you hate him? Would you even let him talk to you and try to make up? 

Connor could not deal with this right now, especially not with this case. This was too much. 

To make matters worse, he and Hank had a scheduled meeting with a manager of communication at CyberLife. There was no way to cancel, they had already pushed it by returning to the company so many times. 

It really was bothersome, but the two of them just couldn’t get a good lead. There were no suspects and no definitive motive. The one possible thing they had going for them was this meeting.

The hope was that they would learn about why the first suspect was there in the first place. The android was a businessman, so there were several possibilities.

That left no room for speculation, which meant Connor and Hank had to be absolutely positive about what had happened. 

Hank couldn’t have any hunches, Connor could rely on statistics. They needed the straight facts. 

Connor didn’t necessarily mind that, he enjoyed having a clean-cut investigation. His processors always handled them better. 

He had even been looking forward to the meeting. He was certain it would give them a lead, otherwise he wouldn’t have organized it. But—his encounter with you put a damper on his spirits. 

Once again, you were all he could think about. Just… not in the best way. Instead of the syrupy, idyllic thoughts, he found himself worrying. 

He was—obsessing over you. Concern and anxiety racked his systems, he almost couldn’t handle it. 

Each and every one of his thoughts about the case somehow led to you, and how to reinforce the relationship he had established with you the past few weeks. 

He didn’t want to completely eradicate the comfort that was now found between the two of you. 

A sort of ease could be found, conversation flowed smoothly, physical contact was common. Connor—well, he liked it. He liked it a lot. 

He hadn’t ever felt anything like it, none of his experiences thus far gave him the feeling that you did. 

It was exhilarating and frightening and perfect and he couldn’t get enough. But now it could all be ruined.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a gruff voice. “Connor? Connor! Snap out of it, what’s going on?”

“My apologies Lieutenant, I was processing some thoughts. It won’t happen again.”

“Jesus Connor, it’s not that big of a deal. No need to go all machine on me. It happens, you’re allowed to think.” Hank seemed miffed by his response, but Connor didn’t see the issue. 

He just nodded, and Hank continued. “Let’s get going, I want to grab a bite to eat before the meeting. You all ready?”

Once again, Connor nodded, and the pair set off to the CyberLife tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Icky feelings all around! I’m sorry, I really am, but it had to happen. 
> 
> My wonderful friend @just_a_goose_who_ships_drarry beta’d this for me again, I’m so grateful for their help, they made this light work.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always I’m super thirsty for comments, they keep me motivated. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and don’t forget to wash your hands!


	14. In which there is no fluff, but things get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, this chapter was a pain to write. All I want is to write fluff, but I don’t want to rush thingssss! Ugh.
> 
> Also, I’m not a fan of how the world has gone to shit, but I think what’s happening right now is necessary.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this shorter-than-promised mess that I’m calling a chapter.

Chris and Gavin chattered all the way to the restaurant, and it was no different when the three of you got there. 

You of course chipped in when they included you, but you made no effort to add anything to any of the conversations. 

Your thoughts were too clouded with Connor. The damn android was too thoughtful for his own good, why couldn’t he just understand? 

You couldn’t explain yourself to him, not right then. It wasn’t the time. Later, you told yourself.

Sure, maybe it was bullshit, but you didn’t feel like being sincere at the moment. Perhaps that’s why you fully tuned back into Gavin and Chris’s conversation. 

You were in line to order at the counter, and they were discussing something about the logistics of something or other. 

You didn’t have enough context to understand what was going on, so you just listened, amused at their intensity. 

It was nice, hanging out with them again. You had been isolating yourself for so long that you had forgotten this. You were so glad Gavin texted you those few weeks ago. 

If you were being honest with yourself, things had really gone up since then. Not directly up of course, it had been bumpy—especially with Connor. 

Ugh. Right. You had forgotten about that minor issue. 

It was actually very upsetting, especially after you two had become so close. You don’t know what had come over you.

You knew the poor android was just trying to help you while trying to understand your thoughts better, but it had just made you fume. 

And the problem was, you weren’t entirely sure why. The way he approached you was better than the way most people reacted. 

He didn’t make you feel fragile or small. He wasn’t condescending in any way, so in that aspect, he did a perfect job. 

But—you didn’t want him to fix you. Hell, maybe you needed it, but that doesn’t mean he should try. 

You managed, although not very well. You made sure you cut safely, always limiting yourself and never drawing enough blood to make you light headed or anything like that. 

That was managing, right? You did your best to convince yourself it was, anyway. That was enough for now. For now, you didn’t want some big strong man to swoop in and try to save you. 

Maybe that was why you snapped, but you just really didn’t want to think about it. Right now, you wanted to enjoy your time with Chris and Gavin. You wanted to have a nice lunch that wasn’t clouded with thoughts of what you should’ve done.

Reminding yourself that you were in the middle of a restaurant, you tuned out your thoughts and got ready to order. 

You scanned over the menu, reading off all of the different soups, salads, and sandwiches. You loved places like this, and had no trouble choosing what you wanted.

After only a few moments of deliberation, you decided on a chicken pesto panini with sun dried tomatoes. As a side, you chose a salad with avocado, chicken, feta cheese, and various greens.

Your stomach growled as you read off your order to the young man at the counter. You included an iced coffee in your order, figuring a little boost of caffeine couldn’t hurt.

Chris and Gavin ordered their own lunches and you pulled out your card to pay. Just as you reached for it, you were interrupted by Gavin.

“I’ll pay for you two, my treat.” 

Chris made no argument, but you were about to protest when Gavin spoke up again, cutting you off. “And don’t fight me on this. If you feel so bad you can pay next time.”

It was obvious he said that last bit to placate you, but you accepted it nonetheless. You weren’t ecstatic about people paying for you, but free food is free food.

You sighed and put away your card, replying, “Thanks. I owe you one.”

“That’s the point,” Gavin smirked and Chris slugged his arm lightly. You just rolled your eyes goodnaturedly.

After giving Gavin a silencing glare, Chris piped up, “Alright, let’s go find a table before Gavin gets on my nerves again.”

This brought a laugh out of you and a scoff from Gavin. “Oh, whatever, you love me.” 

Chris wisely chose not to respond and the three of you picked out a booth. You slid in next to Chris while Gavin sat across from you.

Gavin sighed as he sat down before starting a conversation. “So… how’s life with a soulmate? We didn't really have a chance to get all the juicy details out of you last time.”

The two men turned towards you in anticipation. They reminded you of teenagers when they were like this, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing now that you thought about it.

Their giddy attitudes leached into your own, despite the depressing and worrisome events that had just taken place not even an hour ago.

You giggled at their eagerness and leaned forward onto the table. Your hands were clasped together in front of you and you looked down at them, smiling.

You let out an almost-shaky breath before beginning. “Well… You two already know him, but I don’t exactly know how well.”

Chris interrupted, “Gavin almost killed him one time.” You snapped your head over to the sheepish looking man sitting next to you.

“I’m sorry, what?” You were incredulous, but Gavin put his hands up in defense.”

“It was pre-revolution and I was having a bad week. It was before I finally realized that androids are alive, and he and I didn’t exactly get along. We still don’t, but I will never threaten him ever again. He’s a person, I know that now.”

It was obvious to you that Gavin was full of regret. His eyes were sincere and you wanted to keep the conversation lighthearted, but you had to know what had happened. “So uh… Why did you—ahem—almost kill him?”

Before he could answer, a cheerful looking ST300 android walked up to your table. She placed the two trays of your food on the table, along with drinks. As she pulled a straw from one of her pockets for Chris, she asked, “Can I get you anything else?”

Her presence startled you out of the heavy conversion and you awkwardly stuttered, “N-no, I think we’re alright, thank you.”

Smiling even wider, she replied, “Alright, enjoy your meal!” As she walked away, you turned back to Gavin. “Well? Now I’m invested. What happened?”

As Gavin spoke, You and Chris set up the lunch. “Initially, I hated the guy. I guess I was threatened by him, not that I’d ever tell him that. I would’ve been more than happy to beat the shit out of him, but I never really had a chance to that wouldn’t get any addition to my disciplinary file.”

He paused to take a bite of his sandwich and take a drink, but you and Chris remained silent. Chris obviously knew the story already, but he respected Gavin and wanted to let him tell it himself.

After Gavin swallowed a gulp of his coffee, he continued. “He actually got removed from his case, but I saw him go down to the evidence room. I knew he was supposed to be heading to CyberLife, so I followed him. Me being me, I ended up pulling a gun on him, but he beat my ass. Then there was the whole revolution and shit, I ended up apologizing.”

Right then, Chris decided to cut in. “Oh, like hell you apologized.”

“Hey. I apologized in my own way,” Gavin insisted.

Chris scoffed at that, but there was no menace in his words when he replied, “Right, now you two are semi-civil.” This made you laugh, and you were more than happy to let the tension leave the conversation.

“Well I guess that’s that, then. Chris? I’m assuming the two of you aren’t—besties.” 

Chris let out a full-blown laugh at that, replying, “No, but there’s no animosity at all. He’s actually pretty entertaining to talk to, even before he deviated he was always just kinda—charming I guess.”

Listening to Chris, you smiled. You would’ve loved to see what he was like before he was a deviant, mostly just to see how much he’s changed. 

Gavin, however, wasn’t as entertained. “He was dumb looking, and he constantly had a stick up his ass.”

“Gavin, shut up. You can’t talk shit on her soulmate, dumbass,” Chris reprimanded him, but Gavin only smirked.

You chuckled at their small argument and took a sip of your coffee. Gavin looked away from Chris and turned to you. “You didn't answer my question though. What’s it like?”

The heaviness in the air dissipated and you let out a breath of slight relief. “Well… He’s very sweet to me, it’s obvious he cares—even though I wasn’t exactly the nicest to him at the start.”

“What do you mean? How did you even find out?” Chris’s eyes were shining with curiosity, it was actually pretty adorable.

You weren’t all that excited to tell them about how you met Connor. You were worried that they would either hate the way you dealt with it, or turn against Connor.

Either way, they’d be disappointed in you or you’d feel like you betrayed Connor by making them reject him.

You steeled yourself for their responses and began the story. They were clearly enraptured with what had happened.

They gasped, laughed, and were dead silent during all the right parts of your telling. They were the perfect audience. 

Once you were finished telling them, Chris spoke first, “Holy shit. That’s—wow. Holy shit.”

Gavin nodded, “Yeah, holy shit. What a love story.”

“Gav, shut up,” Chris lightheartedly reprimanded the detective, but Gavin didn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah. That’s what’s happened so far. Except we’ve hit a bit of a hiccup,” You told them. At this, their faces fell.

Gavin spoke first. “What’s up, is everything okay?”

You had to go carefully about this. They didn’t know much about you cutting yourself, and you certainly didn’t want to bring it up.

That would just cause the same problem that you were currently having with Connor. You quickly altered the story so you wouldn't expose any dirty truths, and began.

“He just… tried to help me when I didn't want it. I can handle my own shit, you know? I didn’t need him to interfere.” You tried to convince the pair, but they didn’t seem to be having it.

Chris broke the silence you created, “You know… soulmates are supposed to support each other. This is all new to the both of you, just—keep in mind that he’s never done this before either, he’s just doing what he thinks is best.

“Yeah, as much of a dork that the guy is, it definitely seems like he’s trying. Sure, he’s not perfect, but you’re lucky to have him. Cut him some slack,” Gavin looked surprisingly sincere. It was—a nice change from his usual sarcastic manner.

As much as you appreciated the sincerity, you thought they’d be on your side with this one. It’s not like you were mad about it, but it was just a bit surprising.

“I guess you’re right, I just—have no idea what the hell I’m doing. It's like suddenly this person was thrown into my life, and now I’m supposed to fall in love with him and spend the rest of my life with him. It's scary. I wasn’t expecting it. At all.” You found yourself close to tears, much to your chagrin.

The past few weeks of pent up emotion that hadn’t really had an outlet was about to come tumbling out, right here in the middle of a restaurant. And the two men setting next to you could tell.

Gavin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his side, while Chris held your hands in his. This physical comfort was enough to draw the tears from your eyes, but you did your best to not create a scene.

You let the hot tears slip down your face and all over Gavin’s chest. Chris rubbed the back of your hand with his thumbs and smiled at you sadly. It wasn’t a smile full of pity, and you appreciated his genuity.

Finally, after a little over five minutes of good, heavy crying, your torrent of tears turned into subdued sniffles. Gavin gave your arm a good rub before letting you go and looking in your eyes.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do, because I know how much you hate that. But I think It’d be a good idea to fix things up with Connor. It’s not every day you get a soulmate,” Gavin said softly, with a sad smile.

You returned it with your own watery smile and turned to your food. You had already scarfed down your sandwich, but your salad was practically untouched. 

Chris noticed this and remarked, “We should probably get some takeout boxes, don’t you think?”

With one large sniff and a shaky breath, you recovered from that absolute meltdown that you just had. “Y-yeah, I guess so. Do you want me to go get some?”

“No, don’t worry about it. Gav, do you need one?” Chris went to stand up, and Gavin shook his head. His plate was clean. “Alright, I’ll be back in just a bit.”

Chris walked away from the table and you wiped at your face, starting to clean up the table. Gavin wordlessly helped you pile all your napkins and other garbage onto the trays. 

By the time you were finished tidying everything up, Chris was back with two boxes.

He sat down and slid one to you. Deciding on a lighter topic, you started a new conversation. “What are your plans for the day? With work and stuff.”

“We have that new stuff on the case, but I can’t tell you much about it. We’re just gonna be dealing with that, probably for a good week or so,” Chris answered for both of them, then asked you, “What about you? Are you still on night shifts?”

You smiled dryly, replying, “You know it. Someone’s gotta do it, plus the pay is better. Sleep is for the weak anyway, I’ll live.” Chris’s eyebrows furrowed and Gavin spoke for him.

“You know, this is why you got sick. You keep treating your body like shit and it’s gonna show.” You rolled your eyes, Gavin was always such a hypocrite.

“Yeah yeah, okay mom. When do you have to go back to work?” You dreaded the fact that you couldn’t hang out with them for the rest of the day, but they had a job to do. You weren’t about to get in the way of that.

Chris sighed and grabbed the trays. “Twenty minutes. We should probably get going now, though.”

“Yeah, I want to get some rest in before tonight. I’ll catch the bus, we should do this again,” you said. Gavin nodded at that, and you all said your goodbyes.

The bus ride home was uneventful and you arrived home shortly. Suddenly, you were exhausted.

It hit you all at once and you stumbled to your room. “Set an alarm for 6:00 please,” you called out.

“Alarm set,” the cheerful voice of your smart house rang out. You paid it no attention as you kicked off your shoes and socks.

Falling onto the bed, you were asleep before you even hit the pillow.

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
The CyberLife tower was as ominous as ever as Connor and Hank approached it. They checked in with security and headed up to the twenty-eighth floor.

They had arranged a meeting with the manager of communication in order to find out why the traveling businessman had been at CyberLife. 

That was their only possible lead at the moment, since all the information with the second victim was a dead end.

Now, all they had was this poor dead android. Connor wasn’t about to wait for someone else to be murdered, so he had to figure this out as soon as possible.

As much as he wanted to figure out this case, his mind was swimming. Thoughts of you floated through his processors, distracting him from the task at hand.

Connor worried that he was being distant, and he was sure Hank could tell something was wrong.

He only hoped that the older man hadn’t seen his interaction with you. Even if he did, Connor was grateful that he wasn’t asking about it.

He did his best to wave away any thoughts about you and focus on the case. Currently, he and Hank were waiting in an office. 

It was modestly decorated and there were several plants placed on various shelves.

The desk was clean except for a few pens that were out of place. Connor analyzed the room to get his mind off of you.

He discovered that the office belonged to a woman named Maeve Johnston. Not much could be found on her, but Connor did learn that she had two cats.

One was a siamese and the other an orange tomcat. Connor stored away this information for later, figuring that it could be useful if the situation got sticky.

Connor always tried to get this information on people whenever he was unsure of the outcome. Based on past events, being overly friendly often proved to be useful.

It certainly was with Hank. The man had saved Connor’s life and helped him in ways he couldn’t iterate. Connor was proud to say that his friendship with the man had only grown since then.

They were practically family.

His thoughts of the past were pushed away as a tall woman walked into the office. “So sorry to keep you waiting! I had a meeting that ran a bit longer than I thought it would.”

“It’s not a problem, no worries. Is it alright if we ask you a few questions?” Hank began the informal interrogation as the woman sat down.

As she sat, she noticed the pens on her desk and put them into a glass jar. Connor remained silent as she responded, “Not at all, that’s what I’m here for. What do you need to know?”

“We just want to find out more about the first victim, as I’m sure you know. How much can you tell us?” Hank continued the conversation and Connor chose to just listen.

Hank certainly knew what he was doing and Connor knew that it was best to observe for now. He would chime in when he was needed.

“Of course. He was a traveling businessman in charge of sales. He comes from our company that supplies our biocomponent materials, we’ve worked with him before.”

Her weren’t all that helpful. As much as Connor appreciated her help, he needed this to go somewhere. 

“Can you tell us why he was here before the incident?” Connor finally spoke up for the first time. 

Maeve nodded, “He and a couple of my associates were discussing supply, we’ve been giving some thought to our production and we may have some changes.”

“What kind of changes?” Now this, Connor could work with. This was something, probably something useful if he was correct. 

“Recently, a worker here submitted an idea on making biocomponents more affordable, since androids have been suffering some difficulties in certain workplaces,” Maeve answered. 

Hank’s eyes widened and he interjected, “The same worker who was attacked and killed here the other day?”

Connor was pleased that Hank made the connection almost as quickly as he had.

Maeve’s eyes saddened, and she replied, “That would be her. It’s a tragedy, her idea was truly innovative. She could’ve been huge.”

That was all Connor needed to know. He knew that someone didn’t want these biocomponents to be manufactured more efficiently. 

The reason why may still be a mystery to him, but this was all he needed to finally progress the case. 

Connor looked over at Hank, who nodded. Time to wrap up. “Is there anything else you might think could be useful?”

Surprisingly, Maeve replied, “Another representative from the same company is coming in two days for the same meeting.”

“We’ll need to be there. Is there any way you can arrange full security for them?” Connor’s voice took on an authoritative manner.

She confirmed that it was top priority. After informing them of the time and place, they dismissed themselves and headed out of the tower. 

Once they were back in Hank’s car, the older man spoke up almost immediately. “It’s the goddamn biocomponents.”

“I agree. Someone doesn’t like the idea of making them more affordable.” Connor pondered while Hank turned up the music. 

The rest of the ride back to the station was wordless, as both men were busy thinking.

There was going to be another attack at CyberLife, and they had to stop it. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
At 7:00 in the morning, you checked out of work. You found that a heavy downpour had started and you groaned. Today was—rough to say the least. 

You had two births and the new mothers were just absolutely bitches. You didn’t want to be rude, they had just been through an insane event, but it was infuriating. 

They treated you like a maid, which definitely wasn’t your job description. One neonatologist whose name you didn’t know had to calm you down at one point. 

Usually you didn’t have many issues like that since you had the night shift and most parents just wanted to sleep, but evidently last night was an exception. 

You stumbled into your apartment and stripped out of your wet scrubs as you walked to your room. 

You stood naked in your warm apartment, ready to crash and take a well-earned rest. 

There you were, completely bare, and somehow you managed to zone out completely. 

You could swear you fell asleep standing there, but you were woken from your daze by a knock on the door. 

Instinctually, you covered yourself even though no one was in your apartment with you. 

You hastily threw on an oversized t-shirt and some spandex shorts, not having time to choose anything else. 

Rushing to the front door, you wondered who it could be. No one ever came to your apartment.

The only people you could think of were Chris and Gavin, but they always texted first to make sure it was okay. 

Well—except for one time in college, but you didn’t want to think about that. That was an interesting day. 

As quickly as you could, you opened up the two locks on your door and swung it open. 

Standing there was a disheveled, very nervous, very—wet looking android. Oh. It was raining. Right. 

His LED spun a violent red before returning to a steady yellow. You couldn’t help but stare, you had no words. 

You didn’t know whether to be angry or sad or scared or excited. Emotions and thoughts raced through your mind faster than you could process them. 

At one point in the silence, your mouth opened, but nothing came out except for a choked sound of surprise. 

You were grateful that Connor decided to speak first. He asked, “Ca—can I come in?”

For a moment you couldn’t respond, just staring at his soaking wet figure. 

Your silence made his eyebrows furrow and that minuscule movement snapped you to attention. 

“Right. Yeah. Um—come on in, take off your shoes please.” You weren’t sure how to react. How did one react to a sopping android showing up to their door after an argument?

He walked in and removed his shoes, and you locked the door once more. When you turned back around, there stood Connor. 

He was fidgeting with something you couldn’t quite see. It was reassuring to see he felt just as awkward as you did. 

Clearing your throat, you spoke again. “Uh—would you like a change of clothes?” That seemed like a good thing to say, right?

“Only if you have one.” His answer was clipped, it was obvious he was anxious. 

Wordlessly, you walked into your room. All you could find was a hoodie and some sweatpants that you bought in the wrong size. 

You walked out with the clothes, handing them to Connor. “You can change in the bathroom, they should fit fairly well.”

“Thank you,” he nodded and shut the door behind him. You rubbed you face with both your hands. 

You did not have the energy to deal with this right now. But you supposed you didn’t have a choice. 

Soon enough Connor opened the the door to the bathroom and stepped out. 

Oh.

The sweatpants fit him fine, but the hoodie was tight on his shoulders. It was—very flattering. 

You swatted your thoughts away, trying not to stare at his arms, which also pulled the fabric just tight enough. 

You dragged your eyes up to his and he broke the tension-filled silence. 

“We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness, cliffhangers are the only thing keeping me going right now. 
> 
> I have had no motivation to write lately, is there anything you specifically want to see from this fic? I’m a little lost.
> 
> I have a very lightly outlined plan but nothing is written in stone, so suggestions are absolutely welcome.
> 
> I’d like to thank all listening deities for the help of @just_a_goose_who_ships_drarry. I would NOT have gotten this chapter out on time without them.
> 
> AND—holy shit! Over 100 kudos? Thank you so so much!
> 
> Once again, I’d love comments, and thank you for reading! Don’t forget to wash your hands!


	15. In which shit gets figured out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this was an absolute shitstorm. I did NOT do a good job and I stand by that. I have concluded that writing for Connor’s POV is much more difficult, and of course the majority of this chapter took place in his POV. Probably because I hate myself.
> 
> ANYWHO I hope you enjoy this, I suck at writing feelings because I can’t express my own emotions because I have the mental capacity of a child.

Chapter Fifteen  
Connor’s POV  
Hank did his best to push through the case, but the older man could tell that today was just an off day for both of them. 

He and Connor ended up leaving as soon as possible, set on going home and relaxing from their tedious case for a while. 

At home, Hank put on a movie and poured himself three fingers of whisky. Connor decided it was best not to comment on the alcohol—for now. 

Hank had been doing exceptionally well in terms of his impending alcoholism, and Connor was actually quite proud of the man. 

Because of this, he chose not to pester him when he so clearly needed to unwind. He just had to remind himself that there were much worse things that Hank could be doing.

Since Connor had already seen the movie Hank turned on, he wasn’t all that interested. He only ever enjoyed rewatching a select few of the films Hank had shown him, and this wasn’t one of them. 

He trusted Hank to be alone now, so he decided it was a good time to take Sumo on a walk. The older dog didn’t usually need to go on a walk everyday, but it had been a while since he had been out.

Connor grabbed Sumo’s dark blue leash and latched it onto his collar, which was buried in the dog’s obscene amount of fur.

With a quick pet onto the panting dog’s head, Connor headed out the door. “Don’t stay out too long, we have work tomorrow,” Hank called out.

“Hank, I don’t have to sleep, it shouldn’t be a concern,” Connor replied.

The older man rolled his eyes, “I’m very aware, you’ve mentioned it every time I tell you ‘goodnight,’ but Sumo needs his rest and you know damn well that I’m not going to bed until you come back.” 

“Ah. Of course. In that case, I’ll do my best.” Connor smiled. He would’ve rolled his eyes, but he knew Hank would point it out, and he didn’t want to explain himself at the moment.

With that, he and Sumo set out, down the street to the park. Dogs typically weren’t allowed off-leash there, but Sumo never ran off. Plus, it was later at night and hardly anyone ever came to the park at this hour.

The walk was relatively short, and once they were there Connor let Sumo off. The giant dog walked through the grass before sinking down underneath a tree.

So much for getting him some exercise, Connor thought to himself. He walked over to a nearby bench, deciding that going over the case while he was a bit more relaxed couldn’t hurt. 

As he sat, he opened up the files on the case. Images flitted through his mind palace, but his focus wasn’t as sharp as he would’ve liked. 

All he could think was that there would have to be a group of people. No android could completely disable all security, commit two murders, and get away with it by themselves.

That was about as far as his thought process would take him, without seeing it in action, that is. Hopefully, he would have that opportunity in the next two days. 

His only chance at a new, solid lead was a gamble, for sure. He had to make the most of it, he wasn’t going to let whoever this was slip through his fingers.

After only a few minutes of deliberation, he drifted away from the files on the case. Instead, the file of you opened. 

It surprised Connor a bit, he hadn’t opened it himself. This had happened before, back when he first deviated. 

He hadn’t understood it at first, and he still didn’t. He had even gone to get it checked, but none of his systems were malfunctioning.

Since nothing was evidently wrong with him, he left the issue alone. Besides, it had never really bothered him. If anything, it had helped him.

In a few cases where he and Hank had hit a dead end, the files opening up made him look at things in a new way.

The new perspective had helped them solve more than a few cases. This time however, it wasn’t a case that he was seeing in a new way.

Pictures of you pulled up around him. They were joined by information he had gathered in his systems from interacting and communicating with you.

He hadn’t really wanted to acknowledge what had happened today, but he knew he had to. He knew ignoring the issue would only make it worse.

Connor didn’t want to lose you, not after the two of you had gotten so much closer.

He had to figure this out. Looking at the picture of you, he thought to himself. He thought about what had happened and re-analyzed the situation in his head.

Quickly scanning through the events that had taken place, he noticed you tensed up when he rolled up his sleeve, but you hadn’t gotten truly defensive until he had asked why.

Obviously you didn’t want to be questioned, and it was very like you to not want to talk about your feelings.

It made sense, Connor knew that, but—how could he make it better? 

His thoughts of you and how to apologize were interrupted when Sumo stood with a comical groan and yawned.

The lazy fluff ball padded over to Connor. Once he finally reached the bench, he sat and set his head on Connor’s knee.

Connor let out an amused huff and placed his hand on Sumo’s furry head. He thoughtfully stroked the sleepy dog a few times before standing up to leave. “Come on Sumo, let’s go home.”

He hooked Sumo’s leash back on and started a slow pace to the house. After Sumo had warmed up his legs a bit, their trudge turned into a regular walk.

Although Connor would typically prefer to go faster, he made an exception for Sumo. But only Sumo. And maybe you, but he doubted you were the type of person to walk slowly. 

They arrived home shortly thereafter, and Hank was still watching his movie. “Welcome home, buddy,” Hank said to Sumo as he turned to face him. 

“Thank you Hank, I appreciate it,” Connor replied, smirking.

Hank’s eyes rolled up into his head and he grumbled, “Not you, you sly bastard.”

Connor merely laughed and hung Sumo’s leash back on the hook by his food. Then he turned into the room Hank was letting him use. It had been Cole’s room a while back, but Hank was firm when he said he wanted Connor to have it.

Of course, Connor had helped him pack up all the things he wanted to keep, but Hank ended up throwing away or donating most of everything.

At the time, Connor had felt bad. He was worried that he was forcing Hank to get rid of everything, although he felt much less guilty now. 

He had brought up the issue to Hank, and more recently, the older man had explained himself. He had said, “I don’t need shit to bring more memories up. I had my time to mourn, and he’s gone. It wouldn’t make any damn sense to keep everything.”

Connor didn’t entirely understand, but then again, he hadn’t ever fully understood Hank’s reasoning for a lot of things.

Now, the small room had a queen-sized bed that Connor had bought himself, along with a bedside table and a dresser.

It was somewhat bare, but Connor didn’t feel the need for much else. The simplicity of it made it easier for him to focus on other things.

Speaking of other things, you still hadn’t left his mind. He wanted to see you as soon as possible, but he knew you would be going to work in a few hours.

He remembered talking to you about why you did the night shift. You had told him the pay was better and you were always a night owl anyways.

Although he was positive it wasn’t good for your body, you had just replied, “Someone’s gotta do it.”

Your argument made sense, and he let the issue go. Now, he was trying to figure out how to work around your schedule. You were both at work at opposite times, when could he go see you?

He wanted to get this sorted out as soon as possible… maybe tomorrow? But when? He didn’t want to show up if you were getting ready for work, but the only other time he could go would be early in the morning.

Probably around 8:00 if he wanted you to for sure be there. He planned it out in his head... that left him with enough time to get to the station and then to CyberLife. 

Well... eight o’clock then. He knew he should probably call ahead or text you to tell you that he was coming, but he was... scared?

He hated this feeling. Of all the emotions he had felt since deviating, fear was one of his least favorite.

Embarrassment was a close contender, but he didn’t feel it often. Shame was also up there. He had felt that more lately than he had in a while.

He knew it was his fault, too. He shouldn’t have done what he did, just to try and meet you. He was glad it worked out, but it definitely wasn’t one of his best plans.

Deciding that he was worrying too much, he brushed away his thoughts of you and all the emotions you brought.

Instead, he focused on picking out night-wear. Right after the revolution, Hank had told Connor his work outfits were “too stiff” for home, and that they made him look like he “had a stick up his ass.” 

Connor ended up having to look up adequate lounge-wear. This led him to purchase two pairs of sweatpants and a few t-shirts.

It was nice, having clothes that weren’t so formal. He was glad Hank—suggested it. 

He slipped off his shoes and changed into some black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, then he returned to Hank in the living room.

The movie was finishing up now, Connor remembered this scene towards the end. This was one of the better parts of the movie, it had him quite interested the first time he saw it. 

After briefly watching the scene take place, he removed his eyes from the screen and wandered into the kitchen. 

He opened the fridge and grabbed some leftover Indian food. Hank looked over at the sound of the fridge closing. 

“Thanks, Connor,” Hank said with a small smile. He didn’t usually let Connor do things for him after he deviated, but it was different right now.

Connor could tell tonight was a rough one for the man; the going home early and drinking told him that much.

He was more than happy to help him right now. Hank had done so much for him in the past year, reheating takeout was the least he could do.

Connor scraped out any remaining rice from the bottom of the styrofoam container onto a plate. 

The microwave made a dull click as he opened it. He placed the plate onto the glass base and shut the door.

Soft beeps chimed out as he set the time for forty five seconds and clicked start. The hum of the microwave was soon joined with a savory, spicy smell that didn’t go unnoticed by Hank. 

The man on the couch looked up over to Connor and smiled again, probably just now realized how hungry he was. 

Soon, a louder and longer beep rang out through the kitchen. Connor popped open the door once again and gave the food a quick stir. 

He put another ten seconds onto the microwave timer, repeating the same process. 

After Connor ensured that the takeout was evenly heated, he grabbed a fork for Hank and brought it over to the living room. 

The movie was finishing up, with a quick scan Connor knew there was only a few minutes left. Hank seemed to know this too, but only because he had seen this movie far too many times. 

Connor didn’t mind watching the tail-end, as long as he didn’t have to sit through the entire show ever again. Especially not with Hank’s commentary. 

The older man graciously took the plate of food from Connor, letting out a goofy chuckle that was almost a cackle. 

As he ate, Connor thought about his plan for the next morning. 

What would he say? He hadn’t ever done this before, obviously he would apologize but—he wanted more to come of it.

He wanted—growth. He wanted to you feel even for comfortable around him than you did before. He wanted you to be happy around him, to want to spend time with him. 

He certainly felt that way about you, after all. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Connor woke up from stasis the next morning feeling jittery. He hadn’t ever really been this nervous, not even when he was planning to first meet you. 

He supposed that was because he hadn’t known before what it was like to have you. 

Now that he knew what it was like, he was beyond terrified of losing you. He had to make this right, and he had to make sure he could handle whatever came next. 

Even if he did get through this issue, would he know what to do if something like this happened again?

From what he had gathered, he knew you were unpredictable. Who’s to say if something else were to come up?

Connor waved away these thoughts. Irrational thinking wasn’t usually a problem that he had, yet this morning his processors weren’t doing a very good job of filtering out the unwanted worries. 

Nevertheless, he had to do this. He sat up from his bed where he had previously been in sleep mode, and stood to get dressed. 

Simultaneously, he ordered a cab to his location. He didn’t want to wait any longer than he had to. 

He did have to go into work today, so his outfit couldn’t be anything too casual. He was drawn to a pair of black jeans that he hadn’t worn yet, so he grabbed them along with a white button-down. 

Not feeling in the mood for a tie, he grabbed his low-rise grey boots and left the room.

Hank was still asleep, so he walked throughout the house stealthily. He was able to move around without making a single sound, since his designers thought it would come in handy. 

It definitely had, though perhaps not in the way they had originally assumed. 

After Connor gathered up all his things, he slipped on his replica CyberLife jacket and stepped outside. Into the pouring rain. 

An unnecessary sigh escaped Connor’s lips, why hadn’t he checked the forecast? Not that it would’ve done him any good, he still had to go outside. 

Knowing there was nothing he could do to avoid it, he walked out into the downpour and headed to the automated taxi that sat at the curb. 

He was already drenched despite only being outside for a few seconds. His jacket did little to protect him from the rain, water was already seeping through the fabric. 

Wonderful. 

As the drive to your apartment began, he assessed the situation. Clearly it wasn’t desirable to show up on your doorstep soaking wet, but there wasn’t a clear solution here. 

In the end, the best he could do was try to squeeze as much water out of his hair as possible and fluff it a bit so it wasn’t clumpy. 

His clothes were unsalvageable at this point, so he didn’t even try to straighten them up. 

After sitting alone in the taxi for a while longer, an electronic voice chimed, “Destination reached, please confirm payment!”

Connor did so via wireless transaction and stepped back out into the ever-consistent storm. It hadn’t calmed down in the slightest, although Connor couldn’t say it had gotten worse either. 

That being said, his then-wet clothes were now becoming completely saturated with water. 

He moved as quickly as he could in order to get out of the rain. Hurrying into your building, he quickly ensured he would be able to get in without a hitch. 

Then, taking the elevator up to your floor, he retouched his water-logged hair. 

Nerves flooded his systems and he knew his LED was blinked red every few seconds. 

With a quiet ding, he reached your floor and stepped out of the elevator. He walked to your door, knowing exactly where it was without having to double check. 

He didn’t want to prolong his worrying any longer, so as soon as he reached your apartment he knocked on the door. 

Moments passed, but there was no answer. He heard a bit of movement inside, thanks to his enhanced audio receptors. At least he knew you were alive. 

After another few seconds of scurrying noises coming from inside, he heard two clicks, indicating the doors being unlocked. 

Seconds later, the door swung open to reveal—a very disheveled-looking—you. 

Connor was aware of how nervous he looked, and he willed his violent red LED to calm down to yellow. 

You stared at him wordlessly, but he wasn’t sure whether or not to speak first. He watched as you opened your mouth, only for no sound to come out. 

He could practically see the gears turning in your head as you tried to formulate some sort of response. 

Eventually, Connor realized that this was going absolutely nowhere, so he stuttered, “Ca—can I come in?”

For a moment he was worried you would say no, since you just stood in the doorway and stared at him for a moment. 

Luckily, your silence didn’t last longer than thirteen seconds, but Connor counted every excruciating moment in his mind. “Right. Yeah. Um—come on in, take off your shoes please.” 

You were clearly flustered, but he walked in and removed his shoes regardless. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself as you turned and re-locked the door, so he just stood perfectly still, dripping on your carpet. 

His hands were at his sides, but he held his coin and ran his fingers over its textured surface. 

He was glad when you spoke again, saying, “Uh—would you like a change of clothes?” Yes. Please. His wet clothes were unbearable, he would give anything for today to have been sunny, or at the very least, overcast. 

“Only if you have one.” Connor, of all the responses you could’ve formulated, you had to choose that one? That didn’t even make sense!

He was left with his own thoughts as you disappeared into your room. You weren’t gone for long, and you came back holding sweatpants and a hoodie. 

You hand them to him and say, “You can change in the bathroom, they should fit fairly well.”

“Thank you,” Connor nodded before heading into the tiled room and shutting the door behind him. 

He turned to the mirror and looked at his pitiful figure. His hair was drooping onto his forehead and his clothes clung to his wet skin. 

Shrugging off his jacket, he set it in the sink to prevent too much water getting on your floor. Then he peeled off his shirt and set it on top of his jacket. 

His skin was almost sticky from the overload of moisture. He let himself air dry as he examined the clothes. The hoodie looked like it would fit, but it would be—snug. 

The wet jeans that were clinging to his body were becoming increasingly uncomfortable, so he stripped off the wet fabric as well. 

Those went in the sink with the rest of his clothes and landed with a thwack. The noise made Connor cringe, and he looked at himself in the mirror again. 

His boxers were soaked, there was no going around that. Keeping them on would be disgustingly uncomfortable but... he wasn’t sure that he wanted to wear sweatpants with no underwear. 

After thinking through his options, he decided he would have to go with the latter option. The water from the wet boxers would bleed through the pants if he didn’t, which would bring on a while other level of embarrassment. 

Connor could not go through that this morning. 

He changed as quickly into the sweatpants as he could, feeling vulnerable in the unfamiliar bathroom. 

He put on the hoodie last. He was right in his assumption that it wouldn’t fit perfectly, it was definitely tight across his shoulders and chest. 

It wasn’t unbearable though. It was by far more comfortable than his soaked-through dress shirt. 

Connor ran his fingers through his hair, which luckily got rid of a lot of the water and let it bounce back into its normal shape. 

Okay. Now to face the actual issue. He could do this. This was easy. No it wasn’t, that was a lie. 

He opened the door and stepped out. You were standing in the living room. When you heard the door open, you looked over in his direction. 

Even a non-enhanced human would notice the way your eyes widened and raked over his body. Connor was especially enhanced to notice these small mannerisms, so they especially stood out. 

Connor couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy your lingering gaze, but he wanted this to go somewhere. He broke the silence with a stiff and uncomfortable statement; “We need to talk.”

You visibly inhaled and tensed up. You looked at him and he saw your eyebrows furrow. “Con... where are your other clothes?”

Wordlessly, he turned back into the bathroom to grab his clothes. He knew you were avoiding the topic, but he would indulge you for now. 

He grabbed the dripping mass of clothing and returned to the living room. You let out a soft giggle and took them out of his hands. 

Connor followed you into a small room with a washer and dryer. “I doubt there will be time to wash these all the way, but they only really got wet, right?”

Remaining silent, Connor nodded. A delicate smile washed over your features and you put his clothes into the dryer. If he saw your eyebrows raise when you saw his boxers, he wasn’t going to comment on it. 

After adjusting the setting a bit, you hit the start button. Connor’s eyes didn’t leave your face once the entire time, so when you looked back to him from the dryer, your eyes met. 

Your expression softened a little and you said, “Alright. Let’s talk.” 

You led him back out of the laundry room and into the living room. He watched as you settled yourself on the sofa, tucking your legs underneath you and patting the spot next to you. 

Connor sat where you indicated, much less comfortable than you appeared to be. 

He figured there was no point in dragging this out any longer, so he began, “So... obviously yesterday was—less than desirable.”

He let himself pause, giving you room to say something if you felt like it. You stayed silent, so he continued. 

“It was in no way my intention to upset you, although I clearly didn’t do a very good job of that.” Connor grimaced as he said this, which made you let out a small, rueful laugh. 

Connor paused again, trying to find the right words. “I guess what I’m saying is I want to figure out a way to help you without you feeling like it’s based on pity alone...”

You sighed at his words. “I just—don’t want help? I don’t know, it’s just that I—I spent my life preparing myself to live without a soulmate. I made sure I could care for my self in every way. So—I think when you came, I just... it was unexpected and—unwanted, in the beginning at least.”

Connor... felt like he understood, even though your explanation hadn’t been thorough in the least. Somehow he could just grasp onto what you were saying and comprehend it. He nodded, and you continued. 

“I didn’t mean to go all weird, I’m glad you care—I just don’t think I want to be coddled. I’ve dealt with myself for plenty of time, I don’t plan to stop any time soon.”

Connor felt his eyebrows furrow, the way you spoke—made him sad. It was very unpleasant, different from any emotion he had felt before. 

He had to respond, he’d been quiet for too long. “I think I can understand that but—I feel helpless. I hate seeing you in pain that I could prevent. I feel—it’s like whenever I see you hurting, something in me hurts? No that’s not right, how do I...?”

Suddenly, tears began to well in your eyes. Connor saw his red LED out of the corner of his eye and his sentence trailed off, but he was clueless as to how he could help. 

Suddenly, you leapt onto him. He was sure his LED was flashing red and yellow as you wrapped your arms around him, sobbing. 

After a few seconds of being startled out of functionality, Connor wrapped his arms around your shuddering figure. 

He adjusted you so you were almost on his lap and his arms were securely bundled around you. 

The two of you stayed like this for over twenty minutes. At some point, Connor started raking his fingers through your hair. 

You visibly leaned into his touch, so he continued his movements. When you had finally calmed down, your face was buried into his chest.

Muted sniffles found their way up to Connor’s audio processors, and not quite knowing what to do, he gave you a tight squeeze before drawing you away from his body. 

Despite not being quite as close to you as he was moments before, he kept his hands draped on your back, holding you in place. 

His eyes scanned your face before landing on your own teary ones in an intense gaze. “I’m sorry I smothered you and made you feel like shit.”

Connor’s heart felt a thousand times lighter as you let out a shaky burst of laughter. “And I’m sorry I made you feel like shit for smothering me. I’ll do better. And I promise that I’ll never make you feel like shit again.”

Your words make Connor smile and he tugged you into a tight hug. This, this right here? Perfect. 

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
Connor felt right. You couldn’t explain it, but a weight in your chest completely evaporated when the two of you apologized. 

It was so easy to just forgive him, and it was equally easy to apologize. You hated apologizing, but with him it was just seamless and effortless. 

When you hugged him, warmth coursed through your body. It felt—it felt like nothing you could have ever imagined. 

This was what you had been missing out on all those years? This is why people insisted on being with their soulmate?

Everything was making sense now. What had seemed silly and frivolous only months ago was now becoming one of the only steady things you could depend on. 

And what a thing to depend on. A glorified Roomba who cared for you more than he should. A dorky, adorable android that you never would have dreamed of being with. 

But here you were, wrapped up in his tender arms, sniffling into his collarbone. 

You sat there, practically on top of him for longer than you cared to think about, but it was interrupted when he spoke up, whispering, “I have to go to work. Can you get up?”

Not saying a single word, you shook your head into his chest and whined pitifully. You only held onto him tighter, and Connor let out a breathy laugh. 

“Please? I have to be there on time,” Connor continued. Nevertheless, you just snuggled into him and held your ground. 

Connor sighed, “Alright. Fine,” he said before standing up with you wrapped around him. He used one hand to push himself off the couch, and the other to secure your position in his arms. 

A small squeak expelled itself from your mouth, but you remained steadfast, not letting go. 

Connor laughed again, and fully wrapped both arm around you. Before you fully knew what was happening, he nuzzled into your neck, causing your face to squirm away from him and giggle. 

You thought he would cease his attack on you, but he continued to tease you, his breath fluttering over your skin. 

The feeling of air ghosting over your neck made you freeze up completely, your laughter immediately silenced. 

Whether Connor felt you tense up or not didn’t matter, because very soon after, you felt soft lips press against your lower jawline. 

Weeks ago, you would’ve flinched away from this touch, pushing him away. Instead, now you openly leaned towards him and slipped your fingers into his hair. 

Connor continued, pressing another light kiss on your upper cheekbone, right next to your hairline. 

Still, you didn’t push away. Your apartment was silent aside from your soft breathing and the hum of the dryer in the other room. 

You tightened your grip on Connor’s hair and he audibly inhaled unnecessary oxygen. 

Clearly he felt emboldened by your actions, and you felt his lips ghost down lower, just to the right of your own. 

He placed another light kiss, nearly touching the corner of your mouth. This one was noticeably more hesitant, and you pushed yourself away from him. 

You felt bad for a moment since Connor clearly assumed the worst. You felt as his artificial muscles tensed up underneath you, but you held his gaze with your own. 

You weren’t exactly sure what you were searching for, but whatever it was, you found it in his eyes.

You learned forward and your lashes fluttered shut just as you saw Connor’s do the same. 

His lips found yours and in that moment, everything was absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least the ending was good, right? I got that figured out! I hope this chapter wasn’t too all over the place...
> 
> Once again, thank you to my lovely beta @just_a_goose_who_ships_drarry  
> There is no way in hell I would’ve gotten this out on time without them, and they make the whole fic better because they’re very big brain.
> 
> FUN FACT: I wrote the majority of this chapter either in the car or watching Unus Annus, so that’s...exciting.
> 
> I’m gonna keep it real, the past week was rough. I started a summer class to get a credit that I really need, so I’ve had to wake up at 6:00 in the morning every day. It seriously fucked my sleep schedule so I had a VERY rough time getting this chapter out.
> 
> ALSO! Important note! I’m changing the upload day. Instead of on Monday’s, I’m gonna do Friday’s it makes more sense with my schedule, even though it may not seem like it. Hopefully it’ll help me get chapters out at a more consistent time.
> 
> Thank you SO SO SO much for reading. I’ve felt very unmotivated, so knowing that there are people reading makes me feel much better about my icky writing.
> 
> I’m feeling especially thirsty for comments, so honestly just saying hello and how you’re doing would make my day. I’ll even ask a question, we’ll call it the question of the day; Do you have a pet? If so, what’s their name, what kind of animal are they, and how old are they?
> 
> I thought that question would be appropriate since this chapter featured Sumo teehee
> 
> Thank you again for reading, and don’t forget to stay hydrated, stay sane, and wash your hands!


	16. In which there’s a shit ton of fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small trigger warning, descriptions of self harm and blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I thought writing this was gonna be super stressful since I had less time, but I actually really enjoyed it.
> 
> It is a little shorter than other chapters, but I thought it would make more sense with the story to end it where I did.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Your POV  
The kiss wasn’t too long. It wasn’t overly dramatic like in movies, full of pent up emotion and tension. It was short and sweet, and the passion behind it was subtle.

You pulled away, which only seemed fair since you initiated it. As your eyelids fluttered open, you saw Connor’s blue-flushed cheeks.

The expression on his face was a mixture of surprise and what you could only describe as pure joy. You laughed at his dumbfounded features before leaning in and pressing one more chaste kiss on his lips.

Pulling away, you could tell Connor was hesitant to let you go. He relented with some slight tugging on your part.

His gentle yet firm grip on your hips brought an even wider grin to your face. You held eye contact with him for a moment longer, but then you leaned into the kitchen just enough to see the digital clock on the stove.

It was 8:15, didn’t Connor have to be at work by 9:00? Scooting back over to Connor to maintain the close proximity you had established, you asked him the question on your mind. “You have to be at work in forty five minutes, right?”

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer,” Connor replied with a slight smile.

You sighed, “Me too.” Your eyes scanned over his face, looking at all the small freckles and perfect imperfections that dusted his skin.

Connor said nothing as you seemingly analyzed his face, just gazing softly back into your eyes.

A few moments later, you were done with your informal examination, so you leaned back into him. He wasn’t that much taller than you, probably only three or four inches, so resting your chin on his shoulder wasn’t difficult at all.

Arms wrapping back around you, Connor accepted your hug wholeheartedly. You heard him take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of your shampoo.

You knew he didn’t actually have to breathe, but you were also aware that he was designed to be as lifelike as possible. As far as the outside of him, you wouldn’t be able to tell that he wasn’t human.

You did wonder, however, why he would take in such a large breath. Could he smell things? You knew there were procedures and updates to install pain, scent, and taste receptors.

Weren’t they expensive? You were sure you had read that somewhere, and you wondered if Connor had them. 

It’s almost like Connot could sense your racing thoughts, and he pulled away to look at you. “Are you okay? You look like you have something on your mind?”

His eyebrows furrowed and suddenly he looked far too worried, so you smiled. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“You know, I think after our most recent incident, we should both tell each other what’s on our minds, don’t you think?” Connor’s expression was serious, but you weren’t worried.

You just kept your smile on your face, amused by his sincerity. “I was just thinking about you.” His eyebrow quirked, so you continued, “I was wondering… Do you have enhanced receptors? Like for taste and smell and everything.”

His face broke out into a grin, clearly relieved by the casual subject. “Yes, I do. I had all of them installed when they were first announced, Markus gave them to me as a gift.”

“Do you like them?” You were interested to hear his perspective, since the only android you really talked to hadn’t gotten them yet.

Connor seemed happy to indulge you, saying, “They were overwhelming at first. I actually had to take time off of work for a couple days to become accustomed to them. Since then, I’ve really enjoyed them. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced.”

He sounded so genuine as he spoke, it made you feel something inside of your stomach. Something warm and bubbly. You didn’t recognize the feeling, but you knew you liked it.

You could listen to Connor all day, his voice was soothing in a way you couldn't describe. Sadly, he would have to leave in half an hour.

You wanted to make the most of the time you had with him today, even though it wasn’t like this was the last time you’d ever see him or anything like that.

Maybe it was because the two of you had just apologized, but you just wanted to be close to him.

Good God, that sounded so clingy. If Gavin and Chris could see you now… 

“Do you—want to stay? At least until you have to go to work?” You doubted Connor would say no, but for some reason you were suddenly full of nerves. 

Of course, there was no reason to be anxious, and it only lasted for a few seconds. His face brightened instantly, and he replied, “That would be wonderful. Have you eaten since you got back from work?”

“No, I was just getting dressed when you got here.” You rubbed your eyes, trying to ward away the exhaustion that was trying to settle in. “I don’t know that I have anything, wanna come check with me?”

“Of course, let’s see what we can find.”

The two of you raided your kitchen, eventually coming up with a waffle iron and pancake mix. Suddenly, you had an idea.

You reached into a cabinet and grabbed a container of unsweetened cocoa powder. Grinning, you turned back to face Connor.

Sitting on his face was an amused smile, and he held out his hand for the container. He scooped in three tablespoons of the fine powder and mixed it in with the rest of the mix.

Meanwhile, you grabbed two eggs from the fridge. Connor mixed in the milk as you cracked the eggs into the bowl.

Soon after you were finished with the batter, you waffle iron beeped, indicating that it was ready. You scooped up some of the batter with a measuring cup and poured it onto the hot iron.

It sizzled on contact and the smell of chocolate wafted through the air. Just as you were shutting it, Connor came up behind you.

Just like last time he was at your apartment, he wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned against you. “That smells good,” Connor sighed into your neck. 

You giggled, his artificial breath tickling your neck. “Nothing is better than chocolate waffles. That’s an important thing to remember if we’re gonna be together.”

“Together?” Connor raised his eyebrows, a wide smile forming on his face.

You rolled your eyes lightheartedly, turning all the way around to face him. “Yeah together, what do you think all that kissing was back there?”

Laughing, Connor replied, “Okay okay. I guess that does make the most sense. Maybe I just—”

You don’t know what came over you, but somehow, watching him laugh made the feeling come back even stronger. You leaned up and interrupted whatever he was saying, catching him by surprise.

For a moment, he just stood there, holding your waist, unsure as to what he should do. After a few seconds, he finally kissed you back.

You were sure he noticed, but this kiss was different than the first one. You put in an effort to deepen it, putting your arms up by his neck and resting them on his shoulders.

Your hands slipped up his neck and into his hair, tugging slightly. You could swear you heard Connor let out a soft moan, and you knew you had to de-escalate the kiss.

Slowing down the movement of your lips, you guided the kiss to a stop and drew away. Connor tried to follow you, but only for a moment.

Once you had pulled away, you found an intense pair of hooded eyes gazing into your own. You were breathing heavily, and even Connor looked like his biocomponents were working to keep cool.

“You probably have to go to work,” you breathed. Your voice was almost a whisper as Connor’s face seemed to fall.

He still hadn’t let go of your waist, but you weren’t planning on moving his hands away any time soon. “You’re probably right,” Connor murmured, letting out a shaky breath.

You smiled, it was amusing to see him so disheveled. “I’ll...I’ll go get your clothes, they should be pretty much dry by now.”

“Right. Yes. Thank you. I can—finish up the waffles. While you get the clothes.” Connor’s speech was clipped, you could imagine how awkward he was feeling.

You were feeling it a bit yourself, which is why you decided to go get his clothes. That, and you didn’t want to make him late to work.

The laundry room was noticeably warmer than the rest of your apartment. Typically, you would love to bask in the warmth, but you were plenty heated after the kiss you shared with Connor.

The dryer was still running, but you hoped the clothes were at least a bit better than before you put them in.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you pulled open the door to the dryer. It popped open with a metallic click and the spinning clothes inside slowed down.

They were still somewhat damp, but not so much that they’d be uncomfortable. Plus they were warm, that could help for something.

Probably.

You gathered up all of his clothes in your arms, making sure you didn’t drop either of his socks as you made your way out of the laundry room.

Connor was in the kitchen, dishing some more waffles onto a plate. He turned as he heard you, smiling when he met your eyes.

“Thank you. I’ll go get changed, you should eat.” Connor set down the fork he was using to fish out the waffles and walked over to you.

As he took his clothes from you, he pressed a kiss to the side of your forehead. Right before he left, you caught a smile on his lips out of the corner of your eye.

Your cheeks bloomed with a pink blush, and you didn’t even have it in you to reprimand yourself from acting like a lovesick schoolgirl.

Instead, you grinned to yourself and grabbed the plate of waffles that Connor had dished up for you.

All you had to put on them was syrup, but you weren’t complaining. It was chocolate waffles, how could you complain?

You dug into your plate and it was all you could do to keep your eyes from rolling back into your head. Chocolate waffles.

You were just starting on your second waffle when Connor stepped out of the bathroom.

He had his jacket draped over his arm, but everything else was put on. You never would’ve guessed his clothes had been soaking wet less than an hour ago.

Again, you checked the clock. Okay, he really did have to go. You sighed and set down your silverware, a wry smile on your face.

Standing up, you held your hands at your sides awkwardly. Connor noticed your discomfort, and you were glad to see he was okay making the first move.

He pulled you into a tight hug, which you gratefully accepted. You never would’ve thought this is where you would end up.

Sometimes, when you were still in highschool, you would imagine a life like this. 

Obviously you never pictured an android, but you would wish for someone who was like you. Someone who didn’t have a soulmate, but still had hope in love.

You used to have hope in love—and maybe you were starting to again—but there was a good portion of your life where you had lost all faith.

Those were probably the worst years of your life. That was when you had to make the three-cuts-only rule; one night, you just went too far. You lost too much blood and passed out in the shower.

You were all alone in your apartment, bleeding on the floor. You didn’t even call for help when you came to, you just cleaned yourself up and drank some orange juice.

Insisting on doing everything yourself, you stayed away from hospitals, friends, and family.

Now though? It was different. You had Connor, of course, but you also had Chris and Gavin. They were more than you had had in a long time.

Connor interrupted your reminiscing, reminding you where you were. “Hey, uh, as much as I’m enjoying this—I do need to get to work.”

Oh. Oh! You were still holding Connor in a tight, unrelenting hug, so you loosened your grip and let him slip out. “Right. Sorry. I’ll see you later? Maybe we could figure out a time to… do something?”

“I’d like that. Thank you for your help with my clothes and everything,” Connor replied.

Not quite knowing what else to say, you pressed a chaste kiss onto his lips. After you pulled away, you opened the door for him, not really wanting him to leave. “Of course. Next time I would like a text or something before you show up on my doorstep, soaking wet.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Connor grinned sheepishly, rubbing his neck. He stepped through the doorway before leaning his torso back towards you and placing one more hasty kiss on your lips. “Goodbye.”

“Bye Connor,” you laughed, trying to stifle a blush. As he walked away, it took everything in you not to watch him walk all the way to the elevator. 

You forced yourself to close the door and redo both of the locks. Once that was done, you leaned against the door and sighed.

Your legs partially gave out and you slid down until you were sitting on the floor. For a moment, your apartment was completely silent.

Then, all of a sudden, you burst out laughing. Had any other person been there with you, they’d probably think you were insane. Hell, maybe you were, who was to say?

After everything that had just happened, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were hallucinating. That would’ve been an incredibly realistic hallucination… what with all the kissing and chocolate waffles. There was no way your brain could’ve made that up, it was too—unexpected.

Unexpected, but… not unappreciated. It really was a wonderful surprise, you can’t say you didn’t enjoy it.

God, that android was going to be the death of you. 

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV

Connor didn’t want to leave, he wanted to call in sick, just to stay with you... even though he was sure everyone at the office knew he couldn’t actually get sick. 

That conversation had gone better than he could have ever expected, but he had a case that he could not ignore.

As much as he would love to spend the rest of the day with you… resuming your previous activities, he would never leave Hank to deal with a stressful case all alone.

Since they were going into CyberLife tomorrow, they had to make sure all the proper paperwork and backup was set up and ready.

If it went as Connor hoped, they would make use of the backup. If they didn’t catch someone or get a lead, the whole setup would be completely pointless.

He made sure Hank knew this once he arrived at the precinct. He got straight to work, pleased that the older man was consistently arriving at work on time.

The day went by quickly. It was quiet, mostly just dealing with files and paperwork. The real excitement would come tomorrow, for now Connor just had to get through the repetitive, less interesting things.

He knew Hank wasn’t a fan of paperwork either, so he did his best to take some of the workload off of him.

They left on time, not feeling the need to leave early, but not having enough paperwork to stay late.

The ride home was full of loud music, Hank seemed to be in a good mood. Sumo shared his demeanor, jumping up on them when they stepped through the doorway.

It was odd for him to be so full of energy, but it made both Connor and Hank smile. Sumo usually did anyway, regardless of his attitude.

Connor and Hank ended up trying to cook some sort of Italian pasta bake. It ended up not going to plan and somehow Hank burned the noodles.

As much as Connor would’ve loved to keep trying, they didn’t have any more dry pasta, so they decided on ordering Greek takeout.

The night went well, they changed into more comfortable clothes and browsed miscellaneous TV channels before coming across a rerun of one of Hank’s favorite shows.

They watched a few episodes and Hank fell asleep on the couch. Connor didn’t notice until halfway through the second episode.

He scanned the man to make sure he was actually asleep, which confirmed it, even though he was already fairly certain based on the growing snores coming from Hank.

Knowing that Hank would wake up with sore muscles if he slept here on the couch, Connor woke him up after the show was over, much to the man’s chagrin.

He grumbled a thanks, also aware how terrible the next morning would be if he stayed in the living room.

The man very quickly got ready for bed and instantly fell asleep in his room. Sumo, who usually slept with him, was out in the hall.

Connor whispered to him, “Hey buddy, what are you doing? Aren’t you going to lay with Hank?” Sumo looked up at him sleepily, not moving an inch.

Connor laughed, and went into his room. Suddenly, Sumo stood up with a dramatic jerk and walked to Connor’s doorway. He of course just stared at the android, unable to do much else.

Since Connor was just getting ready to go into stasis mode, he didn’t understand why the dog seemed so interested in him.

“What? What’s going on?” Connor pointlessly questioned the dog with a joking voice. A thought came to mind, something he had read about dogs in the past.

They liked to sleep with their owners, it made them feel less vulnerable and they felt like they were protecting their human in turn.

“Well, in that case, would you like to sleep in here with me tonight?” Connor opened his door a bit wider and motioned to his bed.

The gigantic dog walked in, making a dramatic leap onto Connor’s bed. He didn’t even know Sumo could jump that high, he had never seen him do it before.

He knew that the dog usually slept on the floor in Hank’s room, usually on some sort of blanket. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to let him sleep on his own bed, since he wasn’t bothered by the fur.

Sitting down and lifting his legs onto the bed, Connor nudged Sumo over to one side. “Excuse me buddy, I’d like to lay down, please.”

Although there was no way that the dog understood him, he scooted over and gave Connor enough room to lay down comfortably.

Connor adjusted into a relaxed position and hugged Sumo close to him. Dogs usually liked physical contact, according to the internet.

Sumo seemed content to fall asleep right there in the android’s arms, so Connor slipped into stasis mode and let the soft snoring of the dog drift away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe Sumo is my favorite!
> 
> My lovely beta @just_a_goose_who_ships_drarry helped me out, here’s a direct comment from them:
> 
> “Haha were you hungry when you wrote this”
> 
> The answer is yes, yes I was.
> 
> Anywho, I’m going to continue updating on Fridays instead of Mondays, because—I want to? I guess?
> 
> I’d adore some comments, and since there were chocolate waffles in this chapter, the question for today is: What’s your fave breakfast food? I’d have to say either choccy waffles or eggs and hashbrowns; I can’t decide!
> 
> Thanks again for reading this minor train wreck, don’t forget to stay safe, stay sane, and wash your hands!


	17. In which there is plot development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t as long as I wanted it to be, plus I totally got it out late, but I had fun writing.
> 
> Hopefully next week’s chapter will be longer, but you never really know with me. 
> 
> That being said, enjoy!

Connor’s POV  
Connor woke up right on time, coming out of stasis mode with a giant dog practically on top of him. Not that he minded, but he did have to get going.

He gently nudged Sumo off of him and onto the other side of his bed. The dog was so deep in his sleep that he only let out a loud huff at being moved.

Without him realizing it, a smile crept onto Connor’s face. As much as he would’ve loved to stay here and lay with Sumo, he had to leave for work.

The meeting at CyberLife was today, which meant there was absolutely no way he could show up late.

Speaking of being late, he had to go wake up Hank. Hopefully the man would show the same ambition to get going, considering the occasion.

To Connor’s surprise, when he knocked on the older man’s door, it opened. Standing there was a fully dressed, wide awake Hank.

Connor’s eyes widened at the sight, and Hank’s tone was accusatory when he said, “What? It’s an important day, don’t act all shocked just because I got up on time.”

The android’s mouth opened, ready to defend himself. “I—I’m not shocked, I just… I’m glad you’re ready. Would you like anything to eat?”

Quickly averting the conversation to a new topic, Connor nearly sighed in relief when Hank went along with it.

“That’s alright, we have time to pick something up on the way,” Hank replied, clearly not wanting Connor to cook for him.

“Very well, Lieutenant. Let’s head out, then,” Connor chirped, grabbing Hank’s car keys from their designated hook.

He went to open the door when a harsh bark interrupted him. “Connor! What the fuck are you doing?”

Turning around with his hands in the air, Connor looked bewildered back at Hank. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re—”

“You know that there’s no way in hell I’m letting you drive,” Hank replied with a smirk. “Now give me my damn keys.”

If Conor could have a heart attack, he would’ve. His previously red LED swirled back to blue when he realized Hank was joking. Mostly.

The older man held up his hand, gesturing for Connor to pass him his keys. Without a second thought, the android did a few mindless calculations and tossed Hank the keys effortlessly.

With a near-perfect catch, Hank snagged the keys from the air and walked towards the door, ready to leave. “Let’s head out.”

——————————————————————————————————

Your POV  
You had to go grocery shopping. Your fridge was absolutely empty, nothing was left except dressing bottles and half a head of almost-rotten iceberg lettuce.

A grimace easily found its way onto your face as you glared at your barren refrigerator. It wasn’t the worst your fridge had ever looked, but you definitely didn’t want to relive your college years.

With a sigh, you shut the door and turned around to face the rest of your kitchen. The usually immaculate countertops were littered with dishes and various bits of food. 

Disgusting.

You truly hated the state that your apartment was in, but you didn’t have time to deep-clean it. You had to go shopping and then get ready for work, you would just have to do it tomorrow.

Frown deepening, you headed to your room to get some shoes. You were still technically in your pajamas, but the sweatpants and hoodie you were wearing would suffice.

You slipped on the first pair you saw and grabbed your bag with your bus pass and phone. You had four reusable bags that you stashed under your arm before heading out of your apartment, making sure to lock your door behind you.

As you stepped out into the brisk air, you inhaled and walked half a block to stand at the bus stop.

The next bus was supposed to arrive in just a few minutes so instead of pulling out your phone, you just looked around the area.

There was a woman walking her dog, and you noticed a group of children android’s skillfully riding on longboards along the sidewalk.

A construction site was set up on the road about a block down, so the traffic in your area was a bit heavier than it typically was.

There was some minor honking, but most of the congestion consisted of self-driving taxis, which didn’t honk.

You looked to your left, seeing what looked like a couple climb into one of the said taxis. They were smiling, and you didn’t want to assume, but the woman appeared to be pregnant.

A small smile formed on your lips as you imagined where they could be going. You weren’t sure if you wanted kids, not biologically anyways.

After seeing so many people give birth, the allure had worn off. You definitely didn’t want to go through the trauma that came with having a natural birth.

Were you even capable of being a parent? You certainly didn't think you should be allowed to take care of and help develop a human being, that was just too much responsibility.

Maybe in the future you would feel more prepared, but right now you just wanted to focus on you.

You were pulled away from your thoughts of children as the bus pulled up to your stop. You climbed in and made your way to some of the middle seats.

All android compartments had been removed and replaced with seats last year after the revolution. That was one of the first things Markus had focused on, since achieving this was part of complete equality.

He had absolutely hated the inhumanity that the segregation brought, so you were sure that was why he strived to get rid of it. 

You were glad that the compartments were gone. Even when androids were technically soulless and you felt no desire to treat them like humans, it had always creeped you out how they just stood there, staring into space like some sort of lifeless doll. 

Now, of course, you knew they deserved to be treated as equals. You were impressed by all the progress Markus had made in the past year.

There were less and less anti-android protesters every month, and the integration of all the new android citizens was going astonishingly well.

You were content. You were happy with your life, and you were happy with the way it was going. Everything was improving and you felt better than you had in years.

Even with the few hiccups that you’ve hit with Connor, things were actually going surprisingly well.

As much as a part deep inside of your mind wanted to tell you that you didn't deserve it and that something was going to go wrong, you still had a good feeling about everything that was happening.

Even as you reached the store, you were feeling a sensation of comfort. It was… really nice, actually.

Usually you felt either on edge or lethargic. Now, you just felt peaceful. The serenity almost didn’t make sense, especially in the busy, loud city you lived in, but somehow everything felt right.

You walked into the store, ready to get everything that you needed. Your list was longer than usual since you were so understocked.

You made sure to get a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and various produce items. You had some meal plans prepped and you went about the store to pick up all the ingredients.

It took a little over half an hour to get everything you needed, and when you were done, you headed to the checkout.

An EM400 android checked you out, his bright smile and enthusiastic voice bringing a grin to your face. “Did you find everything alright?”

“I did, thank you,” you replied. It didn’t take long to scan through all the items, and somehow your checker managed to fit everything into the four of your bags.

Once he was finished, he asked you, “What method of payment would you like to use?”

“Just print scan please,” you said, not wanting to take your card out.

“Alright, just place your hand here,” he replied, gesturing to the scanner that flashed a dark blue.

You set your hand on the smooth surface and the familiar sight of a light blue light flashed before your eyes.

It beeped just a few moments later and you removed your hand and an automated female voice chimed, “Payment confirmed!”

“Fantastic, thank you for shopping with us, have a nice day!” 

The android happily concluded your interaction and you gathered up your things, saying, “Thank you, you too.”

You left the building, steadying your grip on the four heavy bags. It only took a few minutes for the bus to arrive at the stop, so you toted your bags on and found a seat.

The ride home was equally as peaceful as the drive there, and before you knew it you were back home.

Lumbering into the elevator, you used your elbow to press the button to go to your floor. You readjusted your grip on the bags and when the door opened, you stepped out.

You had to turn to fit the bags through the elevator doorway, and you walked through the dim hallway to your apartment.

Outside your door, you realized that your hands were full, but you still needed your keys to unlock the door.

With a sigh, you went to set down some of your bags. Without warning, a voice behind you rang out, “Excuse me, do you need any help?”

You could swear you jumped a foot in the air at the sound of the voice, and your head whipped around to face the stranger.

Suddenly, you were face to face with an HR400. His face held a kind expression, but you couldn’t help but feel unsettled. Where had he come from? You hadn’t heard or seen anyone since you got to your floor.

Remembering that he had asked you a question, you stuttered, “Oh! Uh—n-no, that’s—I’m alright. Thank you though.”

His smile remained on his face, but his eyes seemed to grow lifeless, almost looking like an undeviated android. Your stomach churned, but you tried not to show how anxious you really were. 

“Really, It’s no problem, I can just carry in a couple of the bags for you,” he continued.

You weren’t sure how to turn him down, but you sure as hell didn’t want him inside your house. You forced out a fake laugh, responding, “No, thank you. I think I can manage, I’ve carried them all this way.”

As you spoke, you fumbled for your keys. Where were they? You could feel yourself panicking, but the android just stood there.

You watched helplessly as the smile left his face and he reached for something in his back pocket, maintaining an eerie eye contact with you.

“W-what are you doing? Stop! Wh—” You tried to form some sort of sentence, but before you could get it out, you were interrupted by some sort of needle being jabbed into your neck.

Your mouth opened wordlessly and spots formed in your peripheral vision. You noticed you could no longer sense any feeling in your legs, and for some reason all you could think about was if your milk was going to spoil.

Consciousness slipped away from you and the last thing you saw and the emotionless, cold gaze of the brown-haired android.

——————————————————————————————————

Connor’s POV  
The meeting was a bust. It was safe, uneventful, and provided absolutely no leads whatsoever. Connor didn’t get frustrated often, and when he did, he usually hid it.

Today was the exception. His eyebrows were in a constant state of being furrowed and his usually calm stride had been transformed to an aggressive pace that he knew seemed threatening to say the least.

Hank shared his dissatisfaction, making the pair a very dangerous duo. Connor never got this angry or upset, so he alongside Hank made them a ticking time bomb.

They left CyberLife, fuming and not knowing quite where to go from here. They had no leads, no hunches, nothing.

Connor could tell Hank was having a rough time with it, not even needing to use a scan to see the telltale signs of anger.

As they walked to Hank’s car, neither of them said a word. Connor knew they were both too busy thinking about the case to have a real conversation.

Once they were both in the car, Hank sank into his seat with a huff. “Well, shit. Now what?”

Connor didn’t respond, knowing it was a rhetorical question. That, and he really didn’t know. Generally, he had some sort of idea of what actions to take, but he was well and truly baffled.

Hank lifted his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes. When he was finally done, he looked over to Connor with a sigh.

He looked as if he was about to say something, but suddenly his voice took on a concerned tone. “Connor, what the fuck is that?”

Connor followed Hank’s eyes to his own neck, but was unable to see what he was looking at. “What do you mean? What is it?”

“It’s red, so I’m assuming it’s a soulmark. Looks like it hurt,” Hank continued, grimacing.

Connor reached up his hand to his neck, but it didn’t do him any good. Hank noticed and instantly went to grab his phone.

The older man held up the camera so Connor could use it as a mirror, which was much appreciated.

Seeing the soulmark, Connor knew right away that it was from some sort of injection, although there was no way of knowing what kind since it wasn’t on his body.

Right away, he knew he should check up on you. “Do you have a pen?” He asked Hank. 

“I—think there are a few in the glovebox...?” Hank didn’t sound all the sure of himself, but Connor checked anyways. 

To his surprise, there was an unopened box of ballpoint pens, completely untouched and ready to be used. 

Connor peeled off the sticker that sealed the box, opening it up and grabbing a random pen from the middle. 

Popping off the lid, Connor placed the tip of the pen to his artificial skin and traces out in his perfect handwriting, “Are you alright?”

There wasn’t an instant response, but that didn’t worry him. He knew you could be busy, or even sleeping since you had become a bit nocturnal. 

Hank watched Connor the entire time, and when he was done, the older man asked, “What’s goin’ on?”

“I’m not sure,” Connor responded. “Hopefully I get a response soon, I hate worrying about her.”

Hank scoffed, “Well I’m sure she hates your worrying about her too.”

As much as Connor wanted to roll his eyes at Hank’s remark, he knew that was true.

You certainly didn’t like being coddled, especially not when you didn’t need it. 

Connor couldn’t help it though, he just had this constant urge to make sure you were okay all the time. 

It did absurd things to his stress levels, but there really wasn’t much he could do about it. He would just have to remind himself that you were perfectly capable of handling yourself. 

Hank was appeased by Connor’s silence, so he started up the car. The drive back to the station wasn’t long, but he put on some music regardless. 

A radio station playing jazz came on, which both Hank and Connor enjoyed. They left it at that and stayed relatively silent the rest of the way back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww shit, I added an actual plot! I decided we can’t just have fluff all the time.
> 
> Without the bad, we cannot have the good, so here is the bad. 
> 
> I’m so very grateful again to my wonderful beta @just_a_goose_who_ships_drarry  
> They’re a lifesaver, I couldn’t do this without them!
> 
> I’m so happy to hear from everyone, your comments give me motivation to write, so thank you to everyone who’s left me something!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and don’t forget to wash your hands!
> 
> Next Update: June 26, 2020


	18. In which stuff gets scarier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short, I’m very sorry, but I’ll explain why in the end notes. 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Your POV  
You woke up in a well-furnished, heated room. It took you a moment to get your bearings, but once you somewhat came to, you realized that you were alone.

Looking around with drowsy movements, you took note of the fine furniture that decorated the room. Whoever brought you here must’ve been incredibly wealthy, which only proved to make you more anxious.

Why would someone want to kidnap you? You hadn’t the foggiest idea as to why you would be brought here, but your mind raced with possibilities.

As far as you knew, maybe you just walked to close behind someone on the way to the bus stop. In big cities like Detroit, you never knew; some people were actually quite unhinged, especially after the android revolution.

You hadn’t ever really felt threatened, but now you weren’t so sure. You supposed you were probably about to find out how unsafe you should’ve felt in your familiar city.

Since you had no idea how long you had been here, there was no telling how much longer you would have to wait.

Bound by plastic zip-ties, your hands and feet were entirely useless. There was no getting out of this, and as much as you would like to try and escape, you couldn’t do anything but futilely squirm against your restraints.

Some of your wiggling had made your sleeves ride up, away from the zipties, exposing your wrists.

This suddenly made you aware of the scars on your wrists, so you looked away from your surroundings and down to your hands.

Almost instantly, you noticed words on the outside of your left arm.

Shit.

Connor, in all his adorable glory, had chosen now to ask if you were okay. Obviously you weren’t, although there was no way of telling him that, given your current disposition.

You fruitlessly attempted to move your limbs with renewed vigor, the thought of Connor spurring you on.

Almost too distracted by your struggling to hear it, the sound of the door opening startled you.

Your head jerked up and you were met with the sight of an AJ700 model looking at you with a smile. “Ah, good to see you’ve finally woken up, how do you feel?”

She was wearing some sort of slim pantsuit that was a charcoal gray. It exuded a sense of power, which both intimidated and impressed you.

“I-uh… I feel fine?” You had no idea what the hell was going on. She seemed to be very kind, with good manners and a gentle personality. 

Even the way she held herself made you want to feel at ease, although you knew you should stay alert.

“Fantastic, is there anything I can get for you?” Once again, she asked a considerate question, and if not for your instincts and the fact that you were tied up, you would’ve told her anything.

“No, no, I’m alright, thank you.”

You did your best to be perfectly polite, not wanting to anger her or anything like that. It seemed to be working, her smile remained the same as she came to sit across from you.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here, and of course I’ll be more than happy to tell you. I do however need to ask you something first, if that’s alright with you.”

Not wanting to refuse, you nodded, a wary look overcoming your face.

Her smile widened, just the slightest hint of perfect teeth peeking through her full lips. “Fantastic. I just need to know if you have any soul marks on your body.”

You had to force your gaze away from your arm, but you knew that she had already seen you examining the ink when she walked in.

There was no avoiding it, you couldn’t lie to her. Even if you could, you didn’t want to see what would happen if she inevitably found out the truth.

Once again, you nodded, not daring to speak. “Lovely, may I see?” she asked, holding out her hand in what could’ve seemed like a comforting gesture if you weren’t zip-tied to a chair.

With a shuddery breath, you replied, “Okay,” in a meek, subdued voice. You hated how submissive you were being, but you were well and truly frightened of what might happen if you refused.

You had seen plenty of movies where someone had been kidnapped. You had seen what happened when they struggled or didn’t comply. You sure as hell didn’t want that to be you.

With your confirmation, she reached forward to the arm that she had seen you studying. Your sleeve had slipped back down a bit, so she nudged it back up your arm so she could properly see.

“Ah, it seems to me that Connor is worried…”

You visibly jumped when she said Connor’s name. Completely shocked, you looked incredulously onto her calm countenance.

She must’ve sensed your gaze somehow, because she glanced up to your eyes with a faint smile gracing her face.

“My apologies, I suppose I should’ve warned you. I believe it’s time for an explanation, don’t you think?” Okay, now you were scared.

Fear completely overtook you, and it took everything in you to move your head up and down in a stiff nod.

She began, first saying, “It really is quite simple. I’m trying to run a—business of sorts. Your soulmate, Connor, has become a threat to that. I need him to discontinue his actions, which is where you come in.”

Horrified, your mouth opened, but nothing came out, so she continued, “I wish it wasn’t like this, but you’re going to act as a sort of bait for us. If all goes well, no harm will come to you. We just need Connor out of the way.”

“W-what do you mean, bait?”

“We just need to use your marks to lure him here. Of course, it doesn’t necessarily have to be marks, but we thought it would prove to be most effective. Don't you agree?”

Not knowing what else to say, you mustered up a whispery, “Oh my god…“

“Mhmm, I would say we should respond to his message, I hope you don’t mind,” she said.

Of course you did mind. Something inside you screamed “danger,” and you started thrashing as she pulled out a pen.

“No. No! Stop, don’t touch me! Leave Connor alone!” Your violent movements made it impossible for her to write anything.

She let out a sigh, clearly exasperated. “Now, (y/n), I didn’t want to have to do this, especially not after you were cooperating so well.”

You stopped moving, but your defiance had already been shown. Her smile was gone and her LED flickered yellow.

Moments later, a GS200 walked in, holding a syringe. It was quickly handed off to the female in front of you, who once again spoke to you, saying, “Now I’m sure you recognize this wonderful little drug, and I’m sure you don’t want to have it inside you again.

“What’s going to happen is Grant here, he’s going to hold you still while I write Connor a response. If you refuse to comply, I will be forced to inject you with this. I can promise you that the second injection is nowhere near as pleasant as the first.”

The second android, Grant, moved to further restrain you, while the first, whose name you still didn’t know, leaned back in with her pen.

Rather than protect yourself, your anger brought you to lash out. You then did the most foolish thing you could’ve chosen to do; you spat in her face.

Her LED didn’t even flicker. She just froze before looking back at you with emotionless eyes. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Grant gripped you harder and she de-capped the syringe. There was no struggling against the firm grasp behind you as she plunged the needle into the base of your neck.

Again, you felt the sensation of drifting away. As you fell into unconsciousness, you heard the female android say, “I hate working with humans.”

Your foggy mind couldn’t comprehend what that meant, but that didn’t matter since you were gone in just a few more seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven’t been having the greatest time writing this fic.
> 
> Whenever the time comes for me to write or post, I get stressed and procrastinate.
> 
> I’ve just been wanting time to veg, it’s my summer and I want to not feel pressed with deadlines.
> 
> I want to take a month-long break from uploading, which means the next chapter will be in August.
> 
> That seems like a long time, but I want to write for fun, not because I feel like I have to.
> 
> I’m sorry if this disappoints anyone, thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos.
> 
> As always, remember to wash your hands.

**Author's Note:**

> I really do hope you like it, and not to be thirsty, but I would absolutely adore if ya left me a comment or two. Let me know what you liked, disliked, what you want to see, what you definitely do NOT want to see, what I goofed up on, and all that jazz. Thank you so much for reading!


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